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Anyone have any weird college roommate stories?
Posted on 2/2/24 at 1:50 pm
Posted on 2/2/24 at 1:50 pm
I had a roommate named Joseph my senior year. Joseph was a strange bird. He kept to himself. I knew next to nothing about the guy. Well, I had a long-time girlfriend and I planned on asking her to marry me during my last semester. On the day I was going to propose, I prepared an awesome meal for the two of us. Had gotten her flowers, the whole nine yards.
After we finished eating, I was about to pop the question, and in busts Joseph. Dude is wasted out of his mind. He trips and falls onto our glass coffee table. Glass goes everywhere, and he gets some in his eye, so we have to take him to the ER. Night ruined. I decide to hold off on popping the question.
Joseph is released from the hospital the next day, and he has an almost comically amount of gauze bandaged over his eye. He walks around like this for a few days and then he disappears. I don't really think anything of it until I call me girlfriend to ask her to come over, and she can't be found, either. Apparently there was some Florence Nightingale shite going on behind my back. Her roommate told me she had ran off with Joseph.
Moral of the story:
If it hadn't been for cotton-eyed Joe, I'd been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton-eyed Joe?
After we finished eating, I was about to pop the question, and in busts Joseph. Dude is wasted out of his mind. He trips and falls onto our glass coffee table. Glass goes everywhere, and he gets some in his eye, so we have to take him to the ER. Night ruined. I decide to hold off on popping the question.
Joseph is released from the hospital the next day, and he has an almost comically amount of gauze bandaged over his eye. He walks around like this for a few days and then he disappears. I don't really think anything of it until I call me girlfriend to ask her to come over, and she can't be found, either. Apparently there was some Florence Nightingale shite going on behind my back. Her roommate told me she had ran off with Joseph.
Moral of the story:
If it hadn't been for cotton-eyed Joe, I'd been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton-eyed Joe?
This post was edited on 2/2/24 at 1:52 pm
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Posted on 2/2/24 at 2:07 pm to LittleJerrySeinfield
My roommate is a friend and we were living in his trailer house while going to college. My friends cousin was in town saying with us for the weekend. We had friends over playing poker and his cousin invites some women over wanting to party.
He said they were all good-looking and was excited about them coming over. Door bell rings and when the first one stepped in the floor groaned and I felt the trailer drop on that side a few inches... all of them were hefty.
They stuck around till some of our poker friends started making mooing noises.
He said they were all good-looking and was excited about them coming over. Door bell rings and when the first one stepped in the floor groaned and I felt the trailer drop on that side a few inches... all of them were hefty.
They stuck around till some of our poker friends started making mooing noises.
Posted on 2/2/24 at 3:24 pm to LittleJerrySeinfield
“Dear, Penthouse Forum….”
Posted on 2/2/24 at 4:15 pm to LittleJerrySeinfield
quote:
Moral of the story
Posted on 2/2/24 at 9:11 pm to LittleJerrySeinfield
I don't even know where to start...
I think I could tell fricked up stories of college roommates until my last year.
Specifically my junior year when I was living with a coke head and a pot head. You'd assume the coke head was the cause of issues in the apartment, but no. He paid his share of the utilities on time and wouldn't mind if I snagged a beer or 6 of his (High Life, which after a case of Keystone or whatever piss I was drinking didn't taste bad).
The pot head would go on 3-5 Adderall binges, steal anything not in a bedroom, and lived off of Taco Bell bean burritos for a semester.
I think I could tell fricked up stories of college roommates until my last year.
Specifically my junior year when I was living with a coke head and a pot head. You'd assume the coke head was the cause of issues in the apartment, but no. He paid his share of the utilities on time and wouldn't mind if I snagged a beer or 6 of his (High Life, which after a case of Keystone or whatever piss I was drinking didn't taste bad).
The pot head would go on 3-5 Adderall binges, steal anything not in a bedroom, and lived off of Taco Bell bean burritos for a semester.
Posted on 2/2/24 at 10:49 pm to LittleJerrySeinfield
Three of us rented a house a couple blocks off Maple first semester of junior year. One was a raging coke head. The other was a poindexter momma's boy.
It worked out well for me because I was having episodes back then that would, many years later, be diagnosed as temporal lobe epilepsy. The coke head always had weed he shared, which let me get back to normal. It was the first time in a year that I didn't, now and then, wake up where I hadn't gone to sleep with a bad headache and sore legs. Not only that, and here's the Paul Harvey.
The coke head was stealing from Poindexter. It was fun to watch. Then buying coke, weed, beer, plus paying the bills. And Poindexter never knew. The guy was awesome.
It worked out well for me because I was having episodes back then that would, many years later, be diagnosed as temporal lobe epilepsy. The coke head always had weed he shared, which let me get back to normal. It was the first time in a year that I didn't, now and then, wake up where I hadn't gone to sleep with a bad headache and sore legs. Not only that, and here's the Paul Harvey.
The coke head was stealing from Poindexter. It was fun to watch. Then buying coke, weed, beer, plus paying the bills. And Poindexter never knew. The guy was awesome.
Posted on 2/3/24 at 1:56 am to LittleJerrySeinfield
quote:
Moral of the story:
If it hadn't been for cotton-eyed Joe, I'd been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton-eyed Joe?
Posted on 2/3/24 at 1:58 am to LittleJerrySeinfield
Close friend of self and family was Broadway Joes room mate.
Lots of stories, just none fit to post here.
Lots of stories, just none fit to post here.
Posted on 2/4/24 at 2:50 pm to LittleJerrySeinfield
I got paired with a random in the dorms whenever I was a freshman and it was one of those dorms where it was basically one room and there was a desk that was both of our desk that divided the room for mine to his I lived on the far side so I had to walk through his room to get to mine when you walked in. He was a Russian foreign exchange student that had been taken in by a family from Selmer Tennessee and he used to listen to like Angry Russian death metal super loud and he had a subwoofer that he put underneath his part of the desk that was connected to mine and he would listen to The Angry Russian death metal so loud that my computer monitor would vibrate and move. I was in a fraternity so I didn't spend very much time there but I was legitimately concerned that he was going to be listening to his loud Russian death metal one day in my computer was going to shake off of the table and break. We got into it several times about that and he would never not do it. As soon as that year was over that I was required to live in the dorms as a freshman at the University of Tennessee I moved out first opportunity I got. Craziest part was he was a super smart civil engineering major that made great grades and is probably really successful now but I f****** hated him
Posted on 2/4/24 at 4:27 pm to LittleJerrySeinfield
I had a roommate named Chris. Chris loved to go out and get fricking obliterated almost on a nightly basis. Around 2am he would come stumbling in, talking gibberish like he was starring in a fricking Adam Sandler movie.
I really didn't mind, until he started pissing in my garbage can every night. I would wake up to the sound of a heavy stream hitting the side of my plastic garbage can yelling, "Chris, you're pissing in my fricking garbage can!"
To his reply, "akjpoe eoibnel nfseoie!"
After the 3rd time of him doing this I went out and got some smelling salts. Little known fact, you can rub a little bit of smelling salts on someone's pillow and they will not be able to sleep.
After 4 days of no sleep Chris breaks down crying in the room. Complaining about how he can't sleep.
I told him, "Are you ever going to piss in my garbage can ever again?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Doesn't matter, are you going piss in my garbage can again?"
"No, I swear."
"Try washing your fricking sheets, including your pillow and pillow case you dirty frick!"
Never pissed in my garbage can again. He actually started being a good dude.
I really didn't mind, until he started pissing in my garbage can every night. I would wake up to the sound of a heavy stream hitting the side of my plastic garbage can yelling, "Chris, you're pissing in my fricking garbage can!"
To his reply, "akjpoe eoibnel nfseoie!"
After the 3rd time of him doing this I went out and got some smelling salts. Little known fact, you can rub a little bit of smelling salts on someone's pillow and they will not be able to sleep.
After 4 days of no sleep Chris breaks down crying in the room. Complaining about how he can't sleep.
I told him, "Are you ever going to piss in my garbage can ever again?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Doesn't matter, are you going piss in my garbage can again?"
"No, I swear."
"Try washing your fricking sheets, including your pillow and pillow case you dirty frick!"
Never pissed in my garbage can again. He actually started being a good dude.
Posted on 2/5/24 at 9:09 am to Red Boarman
quote:
The coke head was stealing from Poindexter. It was fun to watch. Then buying coke, weed, beer, plus paying the bills. And Poindexter never knew. The guy was awesome.
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