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Posted on 12/4/15 at 8:06 pm
Posted on 12/4/15 at 8:06 pm
Lets have a cerveza and take a momento to discuss the greatest lie that dora ever told. that life would be perfecto with a spanish bitch. youve all thought it. hell I did too when I was a kid. but theres alot of liberal misinformation out there and El Cheffé is here to put the needle on the record once and for all
Lesser known fact. I almost married a mexican bitch from honduras back in '03. obviously it didnt work out, mainly because I wasnt as in touch with myself as I am now, and I regret that, but there were so many unforseen chihuahuas in the mix i couldnt have known. Ive stopped blaming myself. you cant turn back time. Lifes a bitch so make her gag. that's my slogan
First, lets confess that we all get clammy when we see a young desperate mexican chick walk by. Its in our chromosomes. you abandon reason. you know she's gonna hit her early 30's and have a body like cedric the entertainer. you dont give a frick. all you can think about is coming home from work, her calling you papacita, unlacing your timberlands, and licking your plantain all night long and not bitching in american. well, youre part right
(.....)
Lesser known fact. I almost married a mexican bitch from honduras back in '03. obviously it didnt work out, mainly because I wasnt as in touch with myself as I am now, and I regret that, but there were so many unforseen chihuahuas in the mix i couldnt have known. Ive stopped blaming myself. you cant turn back time. Lifes a bitch so make her gag. that's my slogan
First, lets confess that we all get clammy when we see a young desperate mexican chick walk by. Its in our chromosomes. you abandon reason. you know she's gonna hit her early 30's and have a body like cedric the entertainer. you dont give a frick. all you can think about is coming home from work, her calling you papacita, unlacing your timberlands, and licking your plantain all night long and not bitching in american. well, youre part right
(.....)
Posted on 12/4/15 at 8:10 pm to Chef Leppard
Yep. This is where I parked my car.
Chef story time
Chef story time
Posted on 12/4/15 at 8:12 pm to Chef Leppard
You from around brunswick ga? I think we may have partied together. Cocaine boos and girls who spoke broken english at best.
Posted on 12/4/15 at 8:29 pm to Chef Leppard
Wait for me...does everyone like their hot chocolate with the mimi-mallows? I'm making enough for us all to gather on the rug 'round the fireplace, the tree all decked out in Cri'muh splendor in the corner, while Uncle Chef sits the rocker, rocks glass in one hand, one-hitter in the other...mesmerizing us all will his wondrous tale of ubiquitous Hispanic whore courting.
It will be like a Norman Rockwell scene, as interpreted by Salvador Dali, Andy Warhol and Jackson Pollack...all at once and as though from a single hand.
It will be like a Norman Rockwell scene, as interpreted by Salvador Dali, Andy Warhol and Jackson Pollack...all at once and as though from a single hand.
Posted on 12/4/15 at 8:37 pm to Chef Leppard
She had a 4yr old. which ive dealt with before. but theyre different over there. its hard to explain. over there the kids capris suns are made from armadillo mambrane. and they get spankings with cactus patties , which I get. But here's the thing. they start eating 5 alarm peppers when theyre babies. no lie. little ferdinand would waddle his pamper arse into the kitchen when my girl would be cooking and just snatch down a habanero and start munching like it was celery. Ok thats boss. but, im on record as saying its wrong to let toddlers eat produce that makes them think life is about eating and feeling like aaron hernandez is fisting you in your diaper twice a day. I will not morally negotiate on this point
Her name was Delfina. which, idk. may be sexy over there. but it doesnt roll off the tongue like "brandy" or "rosanne". there's just an awkward disconnect. did you know the mexican word for cock is pinto? can you go there with a straight face? hey ho, come get on this pinto. no matter the reference, I dont want my dick nicknamed from the 70s vehicle or the chilli bean. maybe theres no spanish for beanstalk. or maybe thats why michael Jackson had his mexican maids maids call him Jacko. wait. wow
(...)
Her name was Delfina. which, idk. may be sexy over there. but it doesnt roll off the tongue like "brandy" or "rosanne". there's just an awkward disconnect. did you know the mexican word for cock is pinto? can you go there with a straight face? hey ho, come get on this pinto. no matter the reference, I dont want my dick nicknamed from the 70s vehicle or the chilli bean. maybe theres no spanish for beanstalk. or maybe thats why michael Jackson had his mexican maids maids call him Jacko. wait. wow
(...)
Posted on 12/4/15 at 8:47 pm to ruckusdawg
quote:
brunswick ga
I e been around Brunswick since I've been 5 and I don't think I've ever seen anyone in cowboy boots.
Posted on 12/4/15 at 8:50 pm to athenslife101
are you really hijacking me with that
Posted on 12/4/15 at 8:53 pm to athenslife101
Wherr dafuq you get cowboy boots from?
Posted on 12/4/15 at 9:00 pm to Chef Leppard
quote:
you abandon reason. you know she's gonna hit her early 30's and have a body like cedric the entertaine
Posted on 12/4/15 at 9:11 pm to Chef Leppard
Ok gringos, the sex. its not what you think. yeah they frick whenever you want, which is nice. but its..family style. these are methodist girls. just watch the mel gibson movie. theyre all about the "family". they want eye contact and lots of sacrifice. don't think youre just gonna pee in her arse all the time. they want a deep michael bolton connection every single time which is fricking tedious
When I tried to bring delfina into the new century it was disastrous. I had her shave her fajita squeaky clean. she cried in the port o jon the entire time and couldn't look me in the face when she came out.I smashed with glee but in hindsight she clearly thought I was into 8yr olds. but I had no idea. I thought I was the better man for overlooking the stench of soy sauce. are you seeing what's happening here?
(...)
When I tried to bring delfina into the new century it was disastrous. I had her shave her fajita squeaky clean. she cried in the port o jon the entire time and couldn't look me in the face when she came out.I smashed with glee but in hindsight she clearly thought I was into 8yr olds. but I had no idea. I thought I was the better man for overlooking the stench of soy sauce. are you seeing what's happening here?
(...)
Posted on 12/4/15 at 9:33 pm to Chef Leppard
Her skin was a sensual charred vienna, like two day old hamster stool. she knew my background and wanted to see me in a old school taco bell cumberbunn. I just couldnt see it. I owed the IRS $400 and had no netflix. my mind was muddied with cheap heroin and soccer. my boat would leave soon
Their food is bullshite. Its all fake. they dont even know authentic mexican. I use to take her to moe's and she looked sick. her pride was frickin with her. we improve everything here.bitch thought id marry a bitch that didn't appreciate a joey bag donuts. lmao. me and my mom still laugh
Their food is bullshite. Its all fake. they dont even know authentic mexican. I use to take her to moe's and she looked sick. her pride was frickin with her. we improve everything here.bitch thought id marry a bitch that didn't appreciate a joey bag donuts. lmao. me and my mom still laugh
Posted on 12/4/15 at 10:16 pm to Chef Leppard
Tardy to the party... I brought beer and funyuns though.
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