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re: Mizzou Self Help Thread
Posted on 8/26/13 at 7:48 pm to Mizzeaux
Posted on 8/26/13 at 7:48 pm to Mizzeaux
Exactly.
You gain nothing from grudges.
My dad lived his last 10 years in a way that I didn't approve. It was very uncharacteristic of how he raised us. He married a woman that, quite frankly, I felt was not good enough for him or our family. He began to drink (and I never remember him drinking when I was younger). And there were other bombshells. Nothing made sense.
It was incredibly confusing and embarrassing for us (his children). We stopped seeing him (except when we were forced to at Christmas), stopped returning his voicemails, and with each year we did our best to avoid him.
During that time, he never stopped loving us and never stopped making an effort to rekindle his relationship with us.
One day I was at the computer and began to think about him...about my great childhood with him. I realized it had been over 6 months since I last spoke to him and I began to realize that I had been rather harsh to a broken man...a man who clearly had a midlife crisis years ago that resulted in wasted opportunities and time.
I called him later that day because I wanted him to give me advice on a painting that I was working on as an engagement gift for my wife. I was having a color issue and I knew my dad could resolve the issue because he was a well known oil painter.
He didn't answer the phone. In fact, the number was no longer a working number. I had no idea how to contact him, and I desperately wanted to talk to him because I had privately forgiven him that day.
The next morning my mother called me at work to inform me that dad had unexpectedly died in his sleep the night before.
That moment was so profoundly sad that I cannot properly describe it.
You gain nothing from grudges.
My dad lived his last 10 years in a way that I didn't approve. It was very uncharacteristic of how he raised us. He married a woman that, quite frankly, I felt was not good enough for him or our family. He began to drink (and I never remember him drinking when I was younger). And there were other bombshells. Nothing made sense.
It was incredibly confusing and embarrassing for us (his children). We stopped seeing him (except when we were forced to at Christmas), stopped returning his voicemails, and with each year we did our best to avoid him.
During that time, he never stopped loving us and never stopped making an effort to rekindle his relationship with us.
One day I was at the computer and began to think about him...about my great childhood with him. I realized it had been over 6 months since I last spoke to him and I began to realize that I had been rather harsh to a broken man...a man who clearly had a midlife crisis years ago that resulted in wasted opportunities and time.
I called him later that day because I wanted him to give me advice on a painting that I was working on as an engagement gift for my wife. I was having a color issue and I knew my dad could resolve the issue because he was a well known oil painter.
He didn't answer the phone. In fact, the number was no longer a working number. I had no idea how to contact him, and I desperately wanted to talk to him because I had privately forgiven him that day.
The next morning my mother called me at work to inform me that dad had unexpectedly died in his sleep the night before.
That moment was so profoundly sad that I cannot properly describe it.
Posted on 8/26/13 at 8:17 pm to MizzouSEC2012
Family. frick a first game vs a Div 1aa team.
Posted on 8/26/13 at 9:29 pm to mizzoukills
I think all of you are not grasping the seriousness of the situation regarding my relationship with my parents. I don't treat them the way I did/do because of simple things like not making curfew and being grounded or having the cops called on me (although they did this multiple occasions) or because they did something to just piss me off. I've pretty much eliminated them from my life because of things like having to support myself at age 14 because they wanted finer things in life they couldn't afford and chose these things instead of me/us. Also more personal serious things occurred that led to the falling out between us. I was lucky to find someone who is willing to help/support me through high school, and get me out of that horrible situation and honestly have no desire to make any effort. The only time she called me was when she needed money, and in my freshman year in college called and asked to borrow a house payment using my student loans/grants to pay for school. I'm pretty sure this pissed me off to the point where I finally gave up anyways these are just some small examples of the shite I had to endure growing up.
This post was edited on 8/26/13 at 9:30 pm
Posted on 8/26/13 at 9:32 pm to mizzoukills
Killz, I'm really sorry. That is awful. But the thing I've found about loved ones that go on ins this: if you really knew them, and loved them, you never completely lose them. I was really close to my brother that passed away. I still talk to him all the time, and ask for his advice - and I know him well enough that I can imagine what he'd say to me. Same with my dad.
MS2 - spend time with your family. They're the only one you you have, and the only people that have truly known you your whole life. Talk to your dad, and forgive him. You don't have to forget, but carrying around the anger only hurts you in the long run.
MS2 - spend time with your family. They're the only one you you have, and the only people that have truly known you your whole life. Talk to your dad, and forgive him. You don't have to forget, but carrying around the anger only hurts you in the long run.
Posted on 8/26/13 at 9:38 pm to mizzoukills
quote:
mizzoukills
I'm very sorry man.
Posted on 8/26/13 at 10:06 pm to MizzouSEC2012
go on the float trip and listen to the game.
Sorry to hear about both of your stories, killz and MS2
Sorry to hear about both of your stories, killz and MS2
This post was edited on 8/28/13 at 7:49 pm
Posted on 8/26/13 at 10:11 pm to MizzouSEC2012
So are your parents druggies or gypsies or something? I can understand cutting them off if that's the case.
Situation's still the same though, assuming the parents aren't there and shouldn't be, there's a whole family that's supported you which which your time is better spent than at Faurot Field.
Go float.
Situation's still the same though, assuming the parents aren't there and shouldn't be, there's a whole family that's supported you which which your time is better spent than at Faurot Field.
Go float.
Posted on 8/26/13 at 10:17 pm to kilo
Thanks, everyone, but don't feel sorry for me.
I cherish all of the experiences form my life, good and bad. I define myself thru my experiences and attempt to learn life lessons from my experiences.
Sure, my dad's death story may seem sad, but I don't view it that way. My dad's death brought me closer to my siblings and my mother. My family never muttered the words "I love you" to each other. I guess "love" was just assumed.
Now, I tell my mom I love her every time we speak. At first it was odd...sort of made me feel weak...but after a while it sounded natural and good. Today my mother and I are much closer and open with each other.
I believe I'm a better person since dad's death. I value life and try my best not to waste time with negativity (rant excluded...it's too much fun to frick with ranters). I openly love my family more and tell them that often.
Everything changed after my father's death. I choose to believe that my dad's spirit has orchestrated a miracle.
He's at peace and so are we.
But I'd give anything to see him again, hug him, and have another father/son conversation.
I cherish all of the experiences form my life, good and bad. I define myself thru my experiences and attempt to learn life lessons from my experiences.
Sure, my dad's death story may seem sad, but I don't view it that way. My dad's death brought me closer to my siblings and my mother. My family never muttered the words "I love you" to each other. I guess "love" was just assumed.
Now, I tell my mom I love her every time we speak. At first it was odd...sort of made me feel weak...but after a while it sounded natural and good. Today my mother and I are much closer and open with each other.
I believe I'm a better person since dad's death. I value life and try my best not to waste time with negativity (rant excluded...it's too much fun to frick with ranters). I openly love my family more and tell them that often.
Everything changed after my father's death. I choose to believe that my dad's spirit has orchestrated a miracle.
He's at peace and so are we.
But I'd give anything to see him again, hug him, and have another father/son conversation.
This post was edited on 8/27/13 at 8:46 am
Posted on 8/26/13 at 10:23 pm to Mizzeaux
Go float.
And killz, sorry to hear that.
And killz, sorry to hear that.
Posted on 8/27/13 at 4:21 pm to Mizzeaux
no not druggies just really horrible parents and it's not just my opinion when we were all going to school our school turned them into family services, (so did a family member) they scored really high in child neglect but no action was taken and we pretty much had to put up with it because of broken system
Posted on 8/27/13 at 4:55 pm to MizzouSEC2012
MS2012 - If the situation was reversed, I'd hope that they would still love you. So even though they may be total dirtbags, it's within your power to choose to love them anyway. You don't have to forget what they did or pretend they were great parents. But loving them despite how they treated you is still the right thing to do.
And yeah, it sucks. But it's the right thing to do.
My $0.02. And worth every penny.
And yeah, it sucks. But it's the right thing to do.
My $0.02. And worth every penny.
Posted on 8/27/13 at 6:14 pm to the808bass
The thing about carrying around feelings like that is that they're heavier than you realize. Holding onto that anger hurts your soul, and makes you a bitter person - and it keeps you from moving forward. You don't have to forget, but forgive and put it behind you. When you forgive, and let all that negativity go, you'll be amazed how much better you feel. And then the things in your past stop controlling you.
Posted on 8/27/13 at 6:35 pm to mograyback
When you comin' home, son?
I don't don't know when. We'll get together then, dad. You know we'll have a good time then!
I don't don't know when. We'll get together then, dad. You know we'll have a good time then!
Posted on 8/27/13 at 6:39 pm to mizzoukills
See ya Killz
Been an enjoyment knowin ya.
Kilo, cubs fan, semo, remote, n the rest.
Been an enjoyment knowin ya.
Kilo, cubs fan, semo, remote, n the rest.
Posted on 8/27/13 at 6:41 pm to mograyback
Have I missed a meltdown?
Posted on 8/27/13 at 6:46 pm to mizzoukills
He has had some words today with folks on the OTB, and someone started a ban thread on the help board.
Hope they don't ban you, Gray. But try and relax a little, this much irritation can't be good for you.
Hope they don't ban you, Gray. But try and relax a little, this much irritation can't be good for you.
Posted on 8/27/13 at 6:53 pm to mograyback
Lol. Calm down man.
It's the Internet for fricks sake.
Turn of your computer, go outside, and find the nearest drum circle.
It's the Internet for fricks sake.
Turn of your computer, go outside, and find the nearest drum circle.
Posted on 8/27/13 at 6:53 pm to semotruman
Don't be a pussy, Mogray. Fight the ban thread. Get in there and make a case why you're right and they're wrong.
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