Louisiana....

Once upon a time, in the swampy, mosquito-infested lands that would one day be called Louisiana, there was an ambitious, if not slightly dubious, plan hatched by the French. You see, France in the early 18th century had a bit of a problem – their jails were overflowing, and their streets were crowded with, let's say, "entrepreneurs of the night." So, what's a country to do with all these unwanted folks? Ship 'em off to the New World, of course!

In 1718, John Law, a Scotsman who had the ear of the French Regent (and a knack for schemes that today might get you featured on an episode of "Scam Kings"), came up with the Mississippi Company. The idea was simple: promise a land of gold, spices, and all things nice to attract settlers. But when volunteers were scarcer than a sober sailor on shore leave, France decided to, ahem, "encourage" participation.

The French authorities started rounding up the riff-raff – thieves, debtors, and those charming streetwalkers – essentially anyone who wouldn't be missed. With a one-way ticket to Louisiana, these fine folks were promised a fresh start, which was technically true if you consider wrestling alligators and battling diseases a "fresh start."

So, these involuntary pioneers landed in what was less the promised land and more a land of promise... that it couldn't possibly get any worse. They founded New Orleans, named after the Duke of Orléans, perhaps in hopes he'd send some decent wine over.

And let's talk about Mardi Gras, shall we? A festival where folks flash for plastic beads, which is perhaps the most fitting tribute to the state's founding principle: "Everything's negotiable."

But sheers to Louisiana - a state that was nothing but a penal colony, and continues to carry on the heritage of their ancestors by exemplifying the trash that they truly are.