Alabama @ Tennessee - ESPN 5 CST

Many years ago, hundreds of settlers were cast out of polite society simply for being awful to look at. These settlers were obese, had awful dental hygiene, and a complete inability to keep the crack of their arse concealed without the use of overalls.

First they were driven to northern Georgia and Chattanooga, but the children were still scared of these Hills Have Eyes looking arse motherfrickers. So brave men from Alabama, armed with decorative swords we’d bought from the Collinsville Trade Day, drove them further into the mountains of East Tennessee and told them to never return.

These terrible looking invalids eventually established an economy based on funnel cakes and caricature drawings. A vacation destination was founded nearby for people too poor to go anywhere decent. They established a “university” along the water hoping people would blame the smell on the Tennessee River


Anyway, we have the extreme displeasure of playing these rat bastards in basketball today. Nate Ament looks like a stretched out cabbage patch kid. Peyton Manning got sued TWICE for sexual harassment and Archie had to pay to make it go away. You elected a WWE wrestler as mayor. Fulmer looks like someone stuffed Costco industrial sized sausage gravy into an orange starter jacket.


To hell with you Tennessee. Bitch asses.