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re: I have a question Arkansas fans..

Posted on 5/18/09 at 12:53 am to
Posted by OMLandshark
Member since Apr 2009
119977 posts
Posted on 5/18/09 at 12:53 am to
quote:

Bobby Petrino is the most sought out coach in college football -- ADs ask him for advise on coaches they should hire. Hootie is well hootie -- the two face jealous bioootch of a douche he is.


Seriously, you are a failed abortion. Why do you post in a forum where nobody likes you? Please chop your dick off. Or better yet, chop your head off.
Posted by lsutiger2486
Baton Rouge
Member since Nov 2007
6761 posts
Posted on 5/18/09 at 1:05 am to
I have always wondered why Arkansas hasn't been more relevant in recent years. I am sorry, but Nutt had talent and the resources to do better. Why in the hell do Ole Miss fans think they found a keeper when the coach accomplished shite at a better program? Nutt moved on to a worse program in Ole Miss.

I don't think it is bad that Arkansas got rid of Nutt. I think they are capable of building programs similar to LSU. They own their state and they are capable of stealing recruits from the Big 12 who want to play in the SEC.

Arkansas also has some big time money that can make their program as big as the best in the country.
Posted by OMLandshark
Member since Apr 2009
119977 posts
Posted on 5/18/09 at 1:06 am to
quote:

HawgAlude

Life Got You Down?

If you've been a little depressed lately and have contemplated partaking in the bliss of death, here are some suggestion on how to kill yourself. Even if you don't use these exclusive royalty free suicide methods, remember to do it as creatively as possible.

Don't be boring and just take sleeping pills, go out with style and flare. All these methods require some planning but don't let that dissuade you. Your life must be pretty pathetic if you're killing yourself. Why not leave a legacy?

1) Jumping

Here are a couple of great ways to kill yourself by jumping off a tall building, or cliff, or basically anything really high. The thing about these is that they generally work best if you can get a big crowd watching before you jump. Don't do it when there is no one around. There's just no bloody point in that.

2) Explosives Strapped to Your Body

Difficulty level: 7

Get a LOT of explosives. The more the better.
Hook up a detonator to an altimeter. Set it for 100-200 feet. That will give you good dispersion.
Mix vaseline and gasoline in a bucket.
Find a really tall building. Something like the World Trade Center (not anymore, but you get the idea smarty pants) is perfect and is in a sufficiently crowded area to generate the proper sized crowd.
Get an extra large trench coat, ski mask, duct tape and a very reliable wind-proof lighter. Torch lighters are best.
Bring your materials to the top of your building. Liberally apply the vaseline-gasoline mixture to your entire body. Duct tape the explosives around your legs, arms, head and torso. The more explosives you use, the better. Attach the altimeter to the explosives.
Put on the trench coat and mask so that the explosives are not visible.
Start ranting and throwing things so that you are sure to attract notice. Drag this part out as long as possible. Say anything that comes to mind but try to stay away from real problems. Your love life does not make for a good sound bite, something about trees telling you to kill yourself works good. Ask for news cameras from the major networks, so you can warn them of the coming tree invasion. Pace around while waving your arms and pointing a lot. If there are trees around, point at them.
DO NOT let on that you have explosives on your body. The police will clear the area and you definitely don't want that.
When you've gotten the crowd to a fevered pitch, when the helicopters are hovering like vultures, whip off the jacket and set yourself on fire.
Wait until you are completely engulfed in flame then jump.
Try to steer yourself towards the people in the crowd who are chanting 'jump, jump, jump'. That way flaming falling body parts will pelt them when you explode. If you used enough explosives, everyone within seeing distance will have a piece of you.
Congratulations! You've just made history. I bet it feels good just thinking about it. But don't cheer up, there are plenty of other ways to do the deed.

3) Falling through Chain Saws

Difficulty level: 10

This is much more difficult to pull off. Instead of explosives, the money shot is you falling though three or four operating chain saws. You do not need as high a building for this --- anything above three stories will do. Remember to use the vaseline-gasoline mixture. That's the ingredient that adds pizzazz.

4) Bullet in Your Head

Difficulty level: 1

HAMMER a bullet into your skull. Make sure there is an empty gun nearby but do not fire it (a gun that has never been fired works best in this situation). Bash the bullet into your frontal lobe. It doesn't matter how you get it done it will perplex the authorities for years and you will, most assuredly, be a hot news topic. You'll probably even make it on MythBusters. Hell, you want fame in death to rival the obscurity you had in life don't you?

5) Death by Hairball

Difficulty level: 3

Get a cat or a dog and brush it every day. Save the hair until you have a giant hairball. Plug up your nose then shove the hairball into your mouth.

Leave a cryptic note about how you believe little Fluffy or Rover was planning to kill you in your sleep.

6) Meat Grinder

Difficulty level: 11

Find a sausage making company that has a giant meat grinder. Set up a hidden video camera to tape your death. Leave a will with explicit instructions that it not be read until one year after the night of your grinding. In it, detail the way you died and the location of the hidden camera.

Sneak in at night naked and turn on the video camera. Climb into the grinder and take massive amounts of pills of your choice. Make sure it is enough to kill you.

In the morning you will be ground up and made into sausages. One year later your will, will be read to the news media and people all around the nation will vomit simultaneously.
Posted by OMLandshark
Member since Apr 2009
119977 posts
Posted on 5/18/09 at 1:09 am to
7) Drown in own Urine

Difficulty level: 8

Get a huge vat or possibly an above ground pool. Save all your urine. Drown yourself in it. Put a note on the side of the pool saying, "MY URINE."

This method would work for any body fluid: vomit, snot, dooty. For you despondent guys out there: A vat of your own sperm would be truly impressive. You will have to get some viagra and work frantically for years, but what else have you got to do?

8) Make a Political Statement

Difficulty level: 5

The abundance of media outlets these days has afforded a nearly infinite number of ways to relay your message of doom and despair while consequently minimizing the impact. No longer can you be assured a sizable audience for the ranting and pontificating that so often accompany political/ecological/religious movements.

"Oh, whatever can I do?!" you may be wailing. "The world is coming to an end. Death and despair loom on the horizon. [Insert your hated adversary's name here] is the embodiment of evil. He/she/they/it is/are/will be the antichrist/destruction of us all/black death come to haunt us/etc."

"How can I get my cause the attention it deserves?" you ask. The answer is simple: A futile pointless violent act displayed to millions on the evening news.


9) Chop Your Own Head Off While Standing Next to a Major World Leader

Ingratiate yourself with your chosen mark. Get his/her/its confidence. Become a trusted member of the inner circle.
Sew a hand ax into a coat or jacket so that it is easily removable but not particularly visible.
Make a statement. Video tape is preferable because the TV news shows love visuals. The more visual material they have the better. The next best thing would be audio tape. It won't hold an audience as well but at least it can be played under the video of your death. Never write a letter. No one reads anymore. No one will care. Make sure your message will be easily found on your corpse.
On the day of a major rally, with hundreds or thousands of attendees and lots of television cameras, wear the coat with the hand ax attached.
Send backup copies of your message to as many news outlets as you can on the appointed day.
Stand in the background as you remove the ax from the coat. When you are finished move slowly toward your dignitary.
As the event reaches its climax, whip out the ax and lop off your own head. If possible try to run around like a chicken. Make sure to get as much blood on the famous person as possible. Aim well. That will be the image that gets the news coverage.
Bask in your glorious death. You've made the supreme sacrifice to save the world and have ended the torment that was your existence.

10) Death by Seinfeld

Difficulty level: 9

Find a strong burly friend that will help you. Then find Jerry Seinfeld. Have your strong burly friend pick up Seinfeld and beat you to death with him.

Later Jerry will make a tv show out of it or maybe it will just end up in his act. "So I said, Hey! Who are these people that pick up other people and beat other people to death with them?"

11) Plug 'Em Up

Difficulty level: -1

Get a lot of ten-ton epoxy to seal any and all body openings. Wait a while. Explode.

12) A Pun Death

Difficulty level: 3

Take five large steaks. Rub them all over your body and stuff what remains into every pocket and orifice you can find. Tape at least one steak inside your clothing directly to your body. Find one large hungry grizzly bear. Taunt it till it comes to a full boil, attacks, and kills you.

Dying this way, at the paws of a grizzly bear, will allow the tabloid newspapers and daily tv news shows to use the headline "Grizzly Death!" repeatedly.

13) Intest You Intest Me

Difficulty level: 4

Sometimes you want to do something violent and bloody but you just don't have the wherewithal to assemble a cache of assault weapons. This method is simple and convenient for those on limited budgets.

Make a small incision in your stomach.
Pull out your intestines.
Hang yourself with the intestines.
A cryptic note about aliens might be a nice touch.

14) End the Holiday Madness

Difficulty level: 6

Anyone with half a brain hates the Thanksgiving to Christmas season. There is too much family. Too many happy annoying people demanding things from you. Too much forced joy specials on television. And WAY too many repetitions of songs you've been listening to since childhood.

The only way to escape this recurring nightmare is to:

If you have any investments, convert them to money. Take all your money and lose it playing online poker. This is especially important if you are well off. Don't tell family members and other greedy people that would profit from your demise. After you die, they will go crazy trying to find the missing money. They may even kill each other. This will bring you satisfaction, maybe even some companionship, in hell.
Now, stick your head in the turkey just after it comes out of the oven, preferably during the Christmas DayTM family gathering but a Thanksgiving DayTM end may also serve your purposes. Your timing really depends on your own peculiar circumstances.
Run around banging into family members all the while flailing your arms and yelling obscenities. You can never go wrong flailing your arms when trying to kill yourself. The more flailing the better.
Go into a room that can be easily locked so you won't be accidently saved by well meaning but inconsiderate friends or family members.
[Alternatively you can just flee the house and run through the streets aimlessly until you pass out. NO ONE in a large city will ever go near someone with a steaming turkey on his head. If you live in a wooded or rural area the best thing to do would be to run off into the wilderness so your body can be found with all sorts of gnaw marks on it from the multitude of animals that will flock to your decaying carcass (and the turkey's too).]
An interesting footnote to this holiday might be to swallow a large number of Christmas ornaments (lights, small Santa dolls, actual fruit cake) before you follow your bliss. Give your family and friends (if you have either) something to discuss the following year.
This post was edited on 5/18/09 at 1:16 am
Posted by heartbreakTiger
grinding for my grinders
Member since Jan 2008
138974 posts
Posted on 5/18/09 at 1:18 am to
fricking a but cliff notes?
Posted by TT9
Seychelles
Member since Sep 2008
91560 posts
Posted on 5/18/09 at 1:29 am to
yeah really,when does your book come out landshark?????
Posted by DeuceisLoose
Mandeville
Member since Sep 2008
2455 posts
Posted on 5/18/09 at 5:43 am to
quote:

Than how come the NFL wanted him to come into the league?


I personally didn't say that Petrino was a failure, but come on...this is your argument? The NFL hires some real turds every year at head coach. Weak, man.
Posted by TheDoc
doc is no more
Member since Dec 2005
99297 posts
Posted on 5/18/09 at 6:08 am to
quote:

How does Broyles arse taste?


Posted by wildrebeltime
Little Rock
Member since May 2009
2058 posts
Posted on 5/18/09 at 7:07 am to
hawgalude, it's simple. there were a few factors that led his louisville success.

1. Kentucky the other instate school was on probation. With the sanctions they were under they were alot easier to recruit against.

2. Most of his winning came with John L smiths players. Even in his last year much of his Defense were Smith holdovers

3. He took short cuts and recruited several Juco players. Juco players always have baggage and real programs rarely recruit them unless they have a prior relationship with them. In the situation now, he is recruiting them when he could be bringing in more full qualifers that could redshirt and be around 5 years instead of 2.


4. The jobs he interviewed for prior to Atlanta he was turned down, and there were a bunch.

5. He was highly sought after b/c of his offensive reputation but this is a defensive conference.

6. He has a nice record and BCS win b/c he played in the big east. The big east is a basketball conference. The defenses aren't as good or as well coached. The only 3 half way decent teams in that conference, South Florida, WV, and Rutgers he all lost too on the road. None of the other programs he played were relevant.
Posted by HawgAlude
Member since Jul 2008
5658 posts
Posted on 5/18/09 at 7:53 am to
so then you argument about Nutt just fell through. BP and Louisville beat Grobe and wake forest something Ole Miss playing a weaker Big East team could not accomplish. Just face the facts webels -- Nutt sucks and while winning some ballgames he can't get the big ones done when the expectations are high. Hell I linked an article that discusses this very fact by him.

the LSU fans here agree and you all are just in denial.
Posted by Cruiserhog
Little Rock
Member since Apr 2008
10460 posts
Posted on 5/18/09 at 7:53 am to
quote:


I personally didn't say that Petrino was a failure, but come on...this is your argument? The NFL hires some real turds every year at head coach. Weak, man.


Then what does that say about Nutt since he will never sniff an NFL job, unless ofcourse you are a media member and have Jimmy Sexton's speed dial, well then 10 teams will want him shortly.
Posted by lsutiger2486
Baton Rouge
Member since Nov 2007
6761 posts
Posted on 5/18/09 at 8:09 am to
Fulmer and Tuberville are better coaches than Nutt and they just got fired from SEC schools with better programs. The fact Ole Miss thinks they have a winner is hilarious.
Posted by pioneerbasketball
Team Bunchie
Member since Oct 2005
139098 posts
Posted on 5/18/09 at 8:14 am to
quote:

Life Got You Down?

If you've been a little depressed lately and have contemplated partaking in the bliss of death, here are some suggestion on how to kill yourself. Even if you don't use these exclusive royalty free suicide methods, remember to do it as creatively as possible.

Don't be boring and just take sleeping pills, go out with style and flare. All these methods require some planning but don't let that dissuade you. Your life must be pretty pathetic if you're killing yourself. Why not leave a legacy?

1) Jumping

Here are a couple of great ways to kill yourself by jumping off a tall building, or cliff, or basically anything really high. The thing about these is that they generally work best if you can get a big crowd watching before you jump. Don't do it when there is no one around. There's just no bloody point in that.

2) Explosives Strapped to Your Body

Difficulty level: 7

Get a LOT of explosives. The more the better.
Hook up a detonator to an altimeter. Set it for 100-200 feet. That will give you good dispersion.
Mix vaseline and gasoline in a bucket.
Find a really tall building. Something like the World Trade Center (not anymore, but you get the idea smarty pants) is perfect and is in a sufficiently crowded area to generate the proper sized crowd.
Get an extra large trench coat, ski mask, duct tape and a very reliable wind-proof lighter. Torch lighters are best.
Bring your materials to the top of your building. Liberally apply the vaseline-gasoline mixture to your entire body. Duct tape the explosives around your legs, arms, head and torso. The more explosives you use, the better. Attach the altimeter to the explosives.
Put on the trench coat and mask so that the explosives are not visible.
Start ranting and throwing things so that you are sure to attract notice. Drag this part out as long as possible. Say anything that comes to mind but try to stay away from real problems. Your love life does not make for a good sound bite, something about trees telling you to kill yourself works good. Ask for news cameras from the major networks, so you can warn them of the coming tree invasion. Pace around while waving your arms and pointing a lot. If there are trees around, point at them.
DO NOT let on that you have explosives on your body. The police will clear the area and you definitely don't want that.
When you've gotten the crowd to a fevered pitch, when the helicopters are hovering like vultures, whip off the jacket and set yourself on fire.
Wait until you are completely engulfed in flame then jump.
Try to steer yourself towards the people in the crowd who are chanting 'jump, jump, jump'. That way flaming falling body parts will pelt them when you explode. If you used enough explosives, everyone within seeing distance will have a piece of you.
Congratulations! You've just made history. I bet it feels good just thinking about it. But don't cheer up, there are plenty of other ways to do the deed.

3) Falling through Chain Saws

Difficulty level: 10

This is much more difficult to pull off. Instead of explosives, the money shot is you falling though three or four operating chain saws. You do not need as high a building for this --- anything above three stories will do. Remember to use the vaseline-gasoline mixture. That's the ingredient that adds pizzazz.

4) Bullet in Your Head

Difficulty level: 1

HAMMER a bullet into your skull. Make sure there is an empty gun nearby but do not fire it (a gun that has never been fired works best in this situation). Bash the bullet into your frontal lobe. It doesn't matter how you get it done it will perplex the authorities for years and you will, most assuredly, be a hot news topic. You'll probably even make it on MythBusters. Hell, you want fame in death to rival the obscurity you had in life don't you?

5) Death by Hairball

Difficulty level: 3

Get a cat or a dog and brush it every day. Save the hair until you have a giant hairball. Plug up your nose then shove the hairball into your mouth.

Leave a cryptic note about how you believe little Fluffy or Rover was planning to kill you in your sleep.

6) Meat Grinder

Difficulty level: 11

Find a sausage making company that has a giant meat grinder. Set up a hidden video camera to tape your death. Leave a will with explicit instructions that it not be read until one year after the night of your grinding. In it, detail the way you died and the location of the hidden camera.

Sneak in at night naked and turn on the video camera. Climb into the grinder and take massive amounts of pills of your choice. Make sure it is enough to kill you.

In the morning you will be ground up and made into sausages. One year later your will, will be read to the news media and people all around the nation will vomit simultaneously.

Just incase he edits the longest post in TD history.
Posted by wmr
North of Dickson, South of Herman's
Member since Mar 2009
32518 posts
Posted on 5/18/09 at 9:55 am to
For the record, Nutt's character issues came to light when a player recieved a harrassing email which, by the way it was written, obviously came from someone WITHIN THE PROGRAM.

Upon further inspection, it was PROVEN that Danny Nutt hung up on the phone with the sender of the email a few seconds before they hit SEND.

The above is irrefutable. Its documented fact.

All of the rest of the stuff, anchorwomen, etc, came to light as a bonus, but reflect what a shitty, sorry person Nutt is.

Its only compounded by the fact that he sells himself as some kind of holier than thou Jesus figure.

Nutt doesn't deserve to be coaching student athletes. His family is trash.

Whats sad is that Jevan Snead and K. Austin have more to do with OM's recent success, yet the fans shower Nuttjob with praise, right on cue.

I don't wish for Ole Miss' failure. Just HDN's.

Posted by OMLandshark
Member since Apr 2009
119977 posts
Posted on 5/18/09 at 10:26 am to
quote:

so then you argument about Nutt just fell through. BP and Louisville beat Grobe and wake forest something Ole Miss playing a weaker Big East team could not accomplish. Just face the facts webels -- Nutt sucks and while winning some ballgames he can't get the big ones done when the expectations are high. Hell I linked an article that discusses this very fact by him.

the LSU fans here agree and you all are just in denial.

:beatdeadhorse: :beatdeadhorse: :beatdeadhorse:
Posted by Fatbackhawg
Fayetteville
Member since Sep 2008
3139 posts
Posted on 5/18/09 at 11:07 am to
quote:

I have a question Arkansas fans..
I'm not so sure it has anything to do with Nutt.

My theory is you better watch out what you ask for, you might just receive. You or maybe a portion of your fanbase thought it would be neat and cool and cute to go to the lengths it did to run off the A.d. and head football coach, and now you aren't close to being relevant in anything. How does that taste? How does Broyles arse taste? How does the 08 and 09 football losses to Nutt taste? We can't be relevant in any sport the year they leave, and we won't be relevant in any sports the forseeable future.


Who really gives a shite? You got him...Enjoy him! and leave us alone in our misery for letting the messiah go....
Posted by Champagne
Sabine Free State.
Member since Oct 2007
54247 posts
Posted on 5/18/09 at 11:22 am to
I have no dog in this fight, but, I followed the Nutt firing/resignation fairly closely, and, IMHO, Arkansas did the right thing.

Nutt handled the Mustain/Malzahn situation very, very poorly, and in a manner in which he made himself look bad. Nutt displayed some bad character traits during that debacle, to include immaturity, jealously, vindictiveness, very poor judgment and lack of integrity.

Not only all of that, but, Nutt was at Ark. for years, so, he did have a chance to show what he could do with the program, which, the judgment of Time shows, was not a whole lot.
Posted by OMLandshark
Member since Apr 2009
119977 posts
Posted on 5/18/09 at 11:33 am to
quote:

Who really gives a shite? You got him...Enjoy him! and leave us alone in our misery for letting the messiah go....


Leave yall alone??? Besides wildrebeltime, it isn't us leaving yall alone. Its quite vice versa.
Posted by blackrose890
Fayetteville, AR
Member since Apr 2009
6402 posts
Posted on 5/18/09 at 12:11 pm to
When either of our fanbases accuses the other of playing the leave us alone card we are just the pot calling the kettle black. LandShark I feel the need to tell you that you have mentality of an over agressive woman with a broken high heel. Just way over dramatic.

Signed,
Rose, BamBam, Barndoor, and Cpt. Colonel
This post was edited on 5/18/09 at 12:12 pm
Posted by sugatowng
Look at my bling Bitches
Member since Nov 2006
25600 posts
Posted on 5/18/09 at 12:38 pm to
I got $100 says wildrebeltime is TP
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