re: Compose a poem for your next opponent

New Mexico State,
a cupcake again?
Well, I guess we need it,
after State pushed our shite in.

New Mexico state is coming to us
They might as well not even get off the bus

The corndog smell will create quite a stench
While Brandon Harris sits comfortably on the bench

Plotting his strategy, Les chews on some grass.
"Run the ball, Cam! There is no need to pass!"

Hoping to forget, I sip on a porter
As this game will still be close into the fourth quarter

Piped in music will replace the band's
Causing the crowd to empty the stands.

The Bulldogs are cocky cause their favored by double digits
But the last time that happened they left Sanford with an arse whoopin
Tennessee will stack the box and make Mason throw
But interceptions will be the only thing he'll have to show
The Georgia fans will leave Sanford Stadium heart broken
And with red faces they'll be mumbling damn that Butch Jones.

The Vols went down to Georgia
They were looking for a win to steal
They were in a bind
They were way behind
They were looking to make a kill
They went between the hedges saw a team that could run the ball
The Vols lined up and kicked it off and said check this out y'all

UGA got to the 20 yard line and went to the power I
That Gurley sure could run the ball that surely ain't no lie
But something was a little bit different on this go around
The Vols had a D, and now you'll see Vols ready after BYE

Gurley ran to the left and ran to the right and up the middle too
But A.J. was there waiting for him and left him with a bruise
he had to fight for every yard
And every now and then Gurley bust a decent run
But then Mason went to pass and we began to have some fun

Sutton went and picked it off Vols on the 50 yard line
Fire flew from Worley's fingertips then he passed for nine
Hurd took the ball and ran through a seam, got the first down and more
More passes rained down and UGA's D looked like a revolving door
The front seven got some pressure but Worley kept standing tall
Threw a fade into the end zone and North came down with the ball.

The game went back and forth the lead kept being swapped
And now it's the fourth quarter Vols D needed a stop
Comes down to a fourth and one, Gurley's getting the ball
They get no push and he gets wrapped up short he began to fall

Them Richt bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat
He shook Butch's hand and looked down sadly at his feet
Butch said, come on to Knoxville next year if you wanna try again
But I told you, you son of a gun, that we're gonna get this win

How about a haiku?

Missouri loves meth
frick you in the arse mizzou
Late field goal goes doink

new mexico state
i wish i could hate
but i have a want
for some max protect 1-formation to taunt
your weak arse defense into holding us under 3.2 ypc

frick EVERYTHING

Traveling to Hotty Toddy,
The campus is not quite shoddy.

We'll run to the right,
Bubble screen all night.

Saban gives no hoots,
About your purchased recruits,
Enjoy the Rammer Jammer Cock Suckers.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
We're going to frick arky with a rake.

New Mexico State has some Aggies
Who soon will be sent home in baggies
LSU’s Fighting Tigers
Won’t set off the Geigers
But I hope they at least change stra-ta'-gies

The game was tight, the clock ran long
And Shaw was gaining steam
This Gamecock team was growing strong—
For what rises is the cream

Missouri fans: they looked distressed!
As a 4th and goal was converted
"Oh no," they cried, "what a mess,
Our sure win has been perverted!"

"But wait, there's hope, we're in Baggett's range
Surely he'll kick it through!"
What happened next may seem quite strange
But it's fairly typical of Mizzou

The snap was called, and Baggett kicked
The ball soared through the air
But what was this? An infernal trick!
Who put that goalpost there?!!

The game was over, the Cocks succeeded
But now Missouri swears revenge
We'll see if last year's lesson has been heeded:
Gamecocks fight til the end