Bammers are the worst

WARNING:
I realize such a long post with so many words to sound out will intimidate many of the Alabama faithful, never fear, the Bammer friendly flashcards (courtesy of your friend, SidewalkTiger) will soon be available in the new Tigerdroppings store.




An Alabama fan was fricking his sister and in the throes of passion, she screamed "Wow, you frick me better than Dad."

The Bammer replied, "Yeah, that's what Mom says too."



I heard the best way to circumcise an Alabama fan is to kick his sister in the teeth but I don't see how that's possible since she likely only had one to start with.



I bet most of you Bammers think "harrass" is two seperate words.



An LSU fan walks into a bar and says, "I just heard a great Alabama fan joke!" A HUGE guy stands up off a barstool and says, "Just a minute, buddy. Before you tell that joke, I'm Johnny. I'm six-three and weigh two-eighty, all muscle. And I'm a Bama fan. That guy over there is a professional wrestler, and he's a Bama. And the guy behind the bar has a sprayer next to the cash register and his name is Harvey Updyke. Now, you really want to tell that joke?" And the fellow thinks and says, "Nah. I don't want to have to explain it three different times."



Speaking of Harvey (RIP), a tribute to the quintessential Bammer fan:

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He convinced his first wife to let him name their first child Bear Bryant Updyke. When it was a girl, they named her Crimson Tyde. Their next child was a boy and, sure enough, his name was Bear. Al's two dogs are named Bama and Nicky. He has 46 Alabama hats. Last year, he found Alabama national championship T-shirts on sale for $3.41. He bought all 18 in stock. When he was 19, he ran onto the field at the Bluebonnet Bowl, carrying a roll of toilet paper and a box of Tide. More recently, he tried to convince his current wife to name a daughter Ally Bama. He begged. Her response was "Are you crazy?" She also refused to promise that she'd honor his request to bury him in crimson. Even before the Toomer's allegations, she thought he took this Alabama thing too far. She told him he better get a tattoo if he wanted to be buried with anything related to a football team.
Sitting at the table, Al from Dadeville rolls up his sleeve.
It's an elephant with the words Bama and Roll Tide.
"I hate tattoos," he says. "I f---ing hate tattoos."

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quote:

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"Well, I'm just a very unhealthy Alabama fan," he says. "I live it. I breathe it. I think about Alabama football, I'm not exaggerating, 18 hours a day. I have always been that way. It just didn't start. That's what people don't understand. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is get on Tiderinsider and see what's going on. I mean, I know it's not healthy. I've been knowing that a long time. I have a daughter 33 years old named Crimson Tyde."
When his son calls him, the name on his caller ID is Bear Bryant.

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