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What is your perfect crime?

Posted on 3/21/18 at 11:19 pm
Posted by teamjackson
call me Walnut
Member since Nov 2012
7064 posts
Posted on 3/21/18 at 11:19 pm
What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Posted by The Nino
Member since Jan 2010
21719 posts
Posted on 3/21/18 at 11:29 pm to
Posted by Weagle25
THE Football State.
Member since Oct 2011
47316 posts
Posted on 3/21/18 at 11:34 pm to
quote:

The Nino

Not an office fan I see.
Posted by Evolved Simian
Bushwood Country Club
Member since Sep 2010
22959 posts
Posted on 3/21/18 at 11:44 pm to
Posted by The Nino
Member since Jan 2010
21719 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 12:25 am to
I am. Just a random as frick thread
Posted by mikeboss550
Member since Apr 2013
10790 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 4:49 am to
Hunt OP down kill him then feed him tobthe gators in the Everglades for wasting my time with this thread and reply.
Posted by Pavoloco83
Acworth Ga. too many damn dawgs
Member since Nov 2013
15347 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 8:28 am to
I build a time machine. Go back to 14 year old me. Enroll in Stephanie Petersons class and bang her senseless. Then make her take me fishing. We hire LanierSpots as a fishing guide.

This post was edited on 3/22/18 at 8:30 am
Posted by Draconian Sanctions
Markey's bar
Member since Oct 2008
86591 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 10:36 am to
Posted by Evolved Simian
Bushwood Country Club
Member since Sep 2010
22959 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 11:16 am to
I once had a cabbie explain to me how he had devised the perfect murder while we were going from SFO to the Marriott. His son back home in Croatia was having problems with his landlord, and he was planning to go back there and resolve the issue using his scheme.
Posted by Kentucker
Cincinnati, KY
Member since Apr 2013
19351 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 1:02 pm to
Sometimes I want to release a depopulating virus into the air because I don't think humans are worthy of being the apex species on earth. Then I visit tRant and realize that that is unnecessary. The problem is taking care of itself.
Posted by Agforlife
Somewhere in the Brazos Valley
Member since Nov 2012
20102 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 3:16 pm to
If i tell you then i'll get caught
Posted by Paul B Ammer
The Mecca of Tuscaloosa
Member since Jul 2017
2423 posts
Posted on 3/22/18 at 4:49 pm to
quote:

Sometimes I want to release a depopulating virus into the air


Way ahead of you...

quote:

I... realize that that is unneccessary



Oops!

Posted by 1BIGTigerFan
100,000 posts
Member since Jan 2007
52962 posts
Posted on 3/23/18 at 2:03 pm to
Is this an awful Penthouse Forum?
Posted by sms151t
Polos, Porsches, Ponies..PROBATION
Member since Aug 2009
140503 posts
Posted on 3/23/18 at 2:20 pm to
It sure the hell aint this

LINK


quote:

An Arkansas man mistakenly stuffed methamphetamine into an envelope he was using to pay a water bill, authorities say. James Hoey, 66, of Paragould faces charges related to possession of drugs and paraphernalia, according to a report from the Greene County sheriff’s office. On Monday, the sheriff’s office received a report from the Western Greene County Regional Water District in reference to a suspicious substance



quote:

Hoey told investigators that “it must have been a mistake on his part” to place meth in with his payment at the after-hours drop box


Uhhh yeah
This post was edited on 3/23/18 at 2:22 pm
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