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Top 3 Dumbest Things You've Heard In A Bar

Posted on 2/26/19 at 11:38 pm
Posted by BoozeDawg
ATLANNUH
Member since Sep 2018
1465 posts
Posted on 2/26/19 at 11:38 pm
1- Are you guys open? (chairs on tables, music off, not a soul in the building and lights up)

2- That's impossible my card declined, i have 10 grand in my bank account. (classic)

3- "Do you know you my dad is" (all time favorite btw)




for any of yall that worked in bars or frequent them enough to hear something stupid.....what you got?
Posted by Cheese Grits
Wherever I lay my hat is my home
Member since Apr 2012
54617 posts
Posted on 2/27/19 at 1:27 am to
quote:

1- Are you guys open? (chairs on tables, music off, not a soul in the building and lights up)


I don't get it? It is always beer thirty somewhere in the world.

You can get a drink when the bar appears closed as you have described.
Posted by BoozeDawg
ATLANNUH
Member since Sep 2018
1465 posts
Posted on 2/27/19 at 8:55 am to
ehhh.....thats the equivalent of you washing your car and me walking up and saying "You washing your car?"
Posted by Harry Rex Vonner
American dissident
Member since Nov 2013
35811 posts
Posted on 2/27/19 at 9:15 am to
quote:

3- "Do you know you my dad is" (all time favorite btw)



Gumps still covering for the Rounders boy
Posted by mizslu314
Dirty STL
Member since Sep 2013
15959 posts
Posted on 2/27/19 at 9:38 am to
"do you think mount Rushmore was man-made?"


I was amazed.
Posted by I Bleed Garnet
Cullman, AL
Member since Jul 2011
54846 posts
Posted on 2/27/19 at 9:44 am to
"I work for Wells Fargo"
Posted by BoozeDawg
ATLANNUH
Member since Sep 2018
1465 posts
Posted on 2/27/19 at 9:57 am to
oh wow
Posted by OKTGR580
Baton Rouge to Houston, TX
Member since Apr 2018
6318 posts
Posted on 2/27/19 at 10:22 am to
In Lafayette, La I once heard that ULL was only in the position they’re in because LSU fans political power in the state. They said if it weren’t for that, ULL would be in the SEC and equal to Auburn or Ole Miss.
Posted by Mad Dawg 2020
Member since Jun 2017
731 posts
Posted on 2/27/19 at 11:42 am to
"I promise I can drive"

Posted by Cheese Grits
Wherever I lay my hat is my home
Member since Apr 2012
54617 posts
Posted on 2/27/19 at 11:42 am to
No, me washing my car is about me and you are the spectator

Asked a closed bar if they are closed is signal for.....

"Open it now and there is a big tip in it for you"

Do kids today not understand the subtle social skills of booze in a bygone era?
Posted by I Bleed Garnet
Cullman, AL
Member since Jul 2011
54846 posts
Posted on 2/27/19 at 11:59 am to
yea asking a closed bar means I wanna come in and drink don't give AF and I'll tip ya more because Ive most likely had a few before here and everywhere else is either too crowed or closed.
Posted by LouisvilleKat
Member since Oct 2016
18190 posts
Posted on 2/27/19 at 12:40 pm to
Tom Petty Free Falling comes on -

Girl next to the bar "OMG he's stealing John Mayers song"

Coincidentally this is how I know I'm too old to hang out in a bars. I know who Tom Petty is and John Mayer was relevant when this happened.
Posted by DirtyDawg
President of the East Cobb Snobs
Member since Aug 2013
15539 posts
Posted on 2/27/19 at 12:45 pm to
quote:

"Do you know you my dad is"




Looks like you're the dumb one for not knowing who their dad is



Jokes aside, I once heard someone state that they had to quit consuming salt because they were afraid of getting diabetes.
Posted by BoozeDawg
ATLANNUH
Member since Sep 2018
1465 posts
Posted on 2/27/19 at 1:54 pm to
quote:

"Open it now and there is a big tip in it for you"


Hahah

The classic “there’s a big tip in it for you”

Said by no one that’s ever left a big tip
Posted by I Bleed Garnet
Cullman, AL
Member since Jul 2011
54846 posts
Posted on 2/27/19 at 2:10 pm to
quote:

The classic “there’s a big tip in it for you”

Said by no one that’s ever left a big tip


Love that shite
Posted by Cheese Grits
Wherever I lay my hat is my home
Member since Apr 2012
54617 posts
Posted on 2/28/19 at 6:32 am to
quote:

"Do you know you my dad is"


Must be from Indiana

I hear Hoosier Daddy a lot up there.

Must be a lot of bastard kids in the state.

I would feel bad for them except they are from Indiana.
Posted by Cheese Grits
Wherever I lay my hat is my home
Member since Apr 2012
54617 posts
Posted on 2/28/19 at 6:34 am to
quote:

Said by no one that’s ever left a big tip


How old are you?

I am thinking the over 60 set may do as they say.

Interesting, does the opposite work as well?

I have been in food service so I start at 25%
Posted by I Bleed Garnet
Cullman, AL
Member since Jul 2011
54846 posts
Posted on 2/28/19 at 7:48 am to
Depends.
Bars I will give them a tip.

Sometimes I use it in cabs though just so they take the quicker route.
“Take the FDR/west side highway a good tip is in it for you”
Posted by I Bleed Garnet
Cullman, AL
Member since Jul 2011
54846 posts
Posted on 2/28/19 at 7:53 am to
quote:

Must be from Indiana


Or pretty much every southern frat boy...

(guilty)
Posted by Arksulli
Fayetteville
Member since Aug 2014
25171 posts
Posted on 2/28/19 at 9:37 am to
My favorite was "Has anyone seen my glasses?" Yes, as you can all guess, she was wearing them at the time.
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