re: tOfficial "Alahunter is Insufferable" thread

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Who do you turn to? Who do you tell? Where do you go? What kind of therapy is really available for this, if any?

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Exactly

Our legal and moral systems are set up such that these people have literally NO option for getting help that doesn't end with them being at the very least questioned by law enforcement. Nowadays with priests being prosecuted for not divulging knowledge of such things, just about EVERYONE is required to report even the suspicion of child sexual abuse and any statement involving someone having those urges can be taken as suspicion even if they haven't done anything yet.

As a doctor, you know what I do if someone comes to me and says they need help with sexual attraction to kids? I have to report them because, if they end up raping a kid one day and it gets back that he told me about those urges, I'm done. Finished. I have to protect myself even when there isn't a victim yet. It isn't legally defined without a suspected victim, but no one is going to take that risk.

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We all have temptations, whether moral or amoral. Some people are even hardwired to have the temptations. But, as Alahunter alluded to, not indulging in our temptations is one of the burdens/responsibilities of free will.

Attributing this molester's problems to a "disease" or "defect" and making him the "victim" is wrong. There is a black and white in this. There is a wrong and right. He indulged his amoral temptation. Young children were harmed for life. He is going to pay a price.

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Are you this dense?

Society literally FAWNS over gamblers, alcoholics, drug addicts, etc. and we have almost endless resources to help these people. We talk about how strong they were to overcome their vices. You know what we would call someone who claims they have overcome their desires to have sex with little kids? A pervert. Moreover, we have no system in place to help them to begin with.

You're comparing apples to dump trucks. We have deemed people with attractions to kids as inherently disgusting, vile and evil people who should be shunned and can never be "fixed" or "helped", only locked up and restrained. Meanwhile, you can put on a pair of high heels and stockings, have your wife shove a dildo up your arse and be thought of as relatively normal.

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Hey, I like cash, just like the next guy. The bank has a lot of it, why just stroll right in a take it? Can you imagine my mental anguish at not being able to have that cash?

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I refuse to believe that functioning adults with degrees from major universities can really believe this is a valid comparison. I just cannot do it.

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As Hunter said, it's a matter of free will, and the ability to know what's acceptable behavior.

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Can you really not see the difference between an addictive personality and a "defect" in a basic biological desire? Sex is a biological requirement for survival of the species and the second strongest of all human urges behind only the survival instinct. Someone who has that urge directed towards children cannot be compared to someone who likes shooting heroine on the weekend.

Moreover, we have numerous ways of helping people with other vices AND society gladly accepts them during and after treatment. This is not the case with pedophilia. The guy who knows its wrong and doesn't act on it has no recourse but to suffer in silence for decades else he become the lowest of the low in society.

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Sex is a biological requirement for survival of the species and the second strongest of all human urges behind only the survival instinct. Someone who has that urge directed towards children cannot be compared to someone who likes shooting heroine on the weekend.

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Again free will. People may have a desire to be with other persons other than their spouses throughout their marriage. Yet they do not, based on their choosing not to do so. Same with those who choose to be abstinent for whatever reasons. One chooses to do something or not to do something that harms others or brings harm to themselves.

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Again free will. People may have a desire to be with other persons other than their spouses throughout their marriage. Yet they do not, based on their choosing not to do so. Same with those who choose to be abstinent for whatever reasons. One chooses to do something or not to do something that harms others or brings harm to themselves.

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I agree with you. That's not what RK is getting at, though.

I continue to see actions being excused away and an attempt at sympathy for the perpetrators. It's a simple act of choice. I don't know why it bothers you that I've stated it 2 whole times.

Well yeah there's that

Well, you're wrong.

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Again free will. People may have a desire to be with other persons other than their spouses throughout their marriage. Yet they do not, based on their choosing not to do so. Same with those who choose to be abstinent for whatever reasons. One chooses to do something or not to do something that harms others or brings harm to themselves.

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You're missing the point.

The types and degrees of urges are wildly different, and ne has no recourse for them to seek help.

You say it's all about freewill, but a person in this situation only has the freewill to choose between misery or a lifetime of social shunning and likely violence directed at him. He has no real recourse to be free from his desires and to be accepted back into society. Ex-alcoholics, drugs addicts, fat people, etc. can probably claim their old vices and say they overcame them. Even reformed racists, thieves and murderers can be accepted under the right circumstances. A pedophile, even one who has done NOTHING wrong yet, can never say anything lest they be in for a lifetime of social shaming.

Nobody is saying child molesters aren't bad people who made bad choices.

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I continue to see actions being excused away and an attempt at sympathy for the perpetrators. It's a simple act of choice. I don't know why it bothers you that I've stated it 2 whole times.

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Let's draw up a different scenario.

Let's say there was an immense revulsion to Jessica Alba -- if you had an attraction to her, you were considered subhuman, disgusting, filthy, horrible, a monster.

Let's say one day you wake up and you can't stop thinking about her.

Anyone you turn to -- your mother, your father, your priest, your doctor -- they're all going to call you disgusting but the thing is: You can't help yourself.

You don't even want to like her. You want to be normal.

You know that the moment you tell anyone in society there's a chance that people may put you in a place where you're probably going to be used as a human toilet and murdered.

So instead of talking to people about it -- for years you don't do anything.

Have you ever liked a girl so much that you couldn't stop thinking about them? I know I have in the past.

Imagine if tomorrow you woke up and thought about kids that way.

If you say you can empathize with that feeling and maintain your position I don't think we can call you intellectually honest, because the emotional part of this is far too encumbering to bypass (and I empathize with that to some degree).

We need to change the system to get a better grip on the illness, it's the only way to progress.