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Best Drunk Stories?
Posted on 10/24/18 at 3:22 am
Posted on 10/24/18 at 3:22 am
Whether it was you (lol) or someone you know, share your best drunk memories. I got so drunk I skinny dipped in my bosses pool, with his daughter. Fortunately, he didn't know who it was. What about you all?
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Posted on 10/24/18 at 3:27 am to ExArmyVetIRISHFan
I got drunk last night because someone other then me won the lotto. 
Posted on 10/24/18 at 9:11 am to RoleTideFan80
A buddy of mine was a marine, and they went on a port tour after they got out of Kosovo. He said they were somewhere in Italy I believe. Him and his other corp buddy were hammered drunk. The story the way I remember it: “ We were sharing a bottle of Hennesey and we had been drinking all day. We were tired of walking so we took a seat on a bench. We were just sitting there drinking and bullshitting and I got that feeling like if I didn’t get up soon I was going lights out. So I told my buddy we had to start moving. We get up and start walking and a fricking rock hits me right in the side of the head. And I’m like WTF!! And then rocks just start pelting us. Theres a mob over there just chunking rocks and yelling at us. So I’m like lets get the frick out of here! My buddy doesn’t move and he looks at me and yells out ‘IM A UNITED STATES MARINE AND I DONT RUN FROM ANYTHING!!!’ and he takes off running towards the mob. You don’t leave a man behind so I take off after him and we wade off into this mob and we’re crushing mofos left and right. Just laying waste to them. And I guess the adrenaline cleared the drunk fog because right after smashed one right in the face my brain clears and I notice it’s a group of 11 & 12 year old boys and we had walked right through the middle of their soccer game. I grabbed my buddy and we headed for the ship as fast as we could get there”
Posted on 10/24/18 at 1:23 pm to ExArmyVetIRISHFan
I freed the what?
Posted on 10/24/18 at 2:19 pm to ExArmyVetIRISHFan
My first real drunk I got so wasted on Natural Light in high school that I woke up in a bathroom at my parents' house with a stutter. Luckily the stutter only lasted a day.
This post was edited on 10/24/18 at 4:40 pm
Posted on 10/24/18 at 4:17 pm to ExArmyVetIRISHFan
Oh god, il never forget that night
I was living in a high rise apt.
There was a blue eyed, blonde haired angel living there a floor below me. There was an elevator in the middle and a staircase at each end. Back to the angel (Sarah ) I really wanted to be her guy. One day I asked her out. We had a great time. Love was in the air for both of us. Man, it was heaven. Her parents lived out of town and came to visit. I didn’t know it and really didn’t make any difference to me anyway. Well, me and the guys had a poker game. Lasted way into the morning. They all left. I was drunk as hell but kept drinking. I decided to go to the lobby and get a diet Dr Pepper. I used the staircase. Sarah wanted her parents to meet me so she and her parents were coming up as I was coming down. Our eyes met. My heart melted. She and her parents looked really strange at me. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and her and her parents left very quickly. I was wondering why such a hurry. I got back to my apt and headed to the bedroom. I was one drunk mother fricker. I realized that I had decided to take a shower and before I got in the shower I really needed that Dr Pepper. So as you may have guessed by now, when I ran into Sarah and her parents, I was buck naked. Her parents convinced her I was the wrong guy for her. True love. What a waste. Damn it.
I was living in a high rise apt.
There was a blue eyed, blonde haired angel living there a floor below me. There was an elevator in the middle and a staircase at each end. Back to the angel (Sarah ) I really wanted to be her guy. One day I asked her out. We had a great time. Love was in the air for both of us. Man, it was heaven. Her parents lived out of town and came to visit. I didn’t know it and really didn’t make any difference to me anyway. Well, me and the guys had a poker game. Lasted way into the morning. They all left. I was drunk as hell but kept drinking. I decided to go to the lobby and get a diet Dr Pepper. I used the staircase. Sarah wanted her parents to meet me so she and her parents were coming up as I was coming down. Our eyes met. My heart melted. She and her parents looked really strange at me. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and her and her parents left very quickly. I was wondering why such a hurry. I got back to my apt and headed to the bedroom. I was one drunk mother fricker. I realized that I had decided to take a shower and before I got in the shower I really needed that Dr Pepper. So as you may have guessed by now, when I ran into Sarah and her parents, I was buck naked. Her parents convinced her I was the wrong guy for her. True love. What a waste. Damn it.
Posted on 10/25/18 at 4:31 pm to ExArmyVetIRISHFan
Got piss drunk on a beach in the USVI, long story short, me and my buddies ended up on a yacht with some SI swimsuit models.
Posted on 10/25/18 at 6:09 pm to DownSouthJukin
quote:
My first real drunk I got so wasted on Natural Light in high school that I woke up in a bathroom at my parents' house with a stutter. Luckily the stutter only lasted a day
I got drunk the first time when I was 14 with my cousin off some shitty cheap vodka I had slowly been stealing from my mom over the course of months. Like you, my cousin also woke up on the bathroom floor
Apparently we really really wanted to remember what a good time we had that night because i woke up next to a couple pages of (terribly) hand written notes about what we had done. Most of it was just about how hilarious we thought Nick Cannon's show Wild N Out was (it was new at the time, don't judge me)
Posted on 10/25/18 at 6:34 pm to ExArmyVetIRISHFan
Coming back from Iraq, we had a 17 hour lay over in Spain. I was 19 years old with a nice fat bank account. The only thing I remember - vaguely - is being at this bar. We told the cab driver to take us to a club or strip club. He said, "Ahh yes, de club". Sure man, take us to de club.
We were sitting there in this pretty fancy place out in the middle of nowhere. All of a sudden all of these girls started coming over to us. I was like damn! Next thing I know I am getting my junk washed in a beday and laying down with two girls.
Completely blacked out after that. Supposedly I threw up in the back of the cab on the way back to the base and the driver got out of his car and refused to drive us back. I guess I got a little wild and told him to get back in the cab and take us back. Next thing I know, we were getting woken up after a couple of hours so we could leave. I lost my orders to get back on the plane, but luckily I got on. We were in a C5, Ariel refueled in non-stop route to Camp Pendleton.
We were sitting there in this pretty fancy place out in the middle of nowhere. All of a sudden all of these girls started coming over to us. I was like damn! Next thing I know I am getting my junk washed in a beday and laying down with two girls.
Completely blacked out after that. Supposedly I threw up in the back of the cab on the way back to the base and the driver got out of his car and refused to drive us back. I guess I got a little wild and told him to get back in the cab and take us back. Next thing I know, we were getting woken up after a couple of hours so we could leave. I lost my orders to get back on the plane, but luckily I got on. We were in a C5, Ariel refueled in non-stop route to Camp Pendleton.
Posted on 10/26/18 at 3:57 am to ExArmyVetIRISHFan
My buddy Tim (his real name - hi Tim) for some reason decided to take a hot bath after a night of heavy drinking.
He passed out/fell asleep.
He awoke around sunrise in a tub of ice cold water which wouldn't have been so bad. However, he was so relaxed in his tub that apparently he decided to take a nice dump while he slept.
Problem is, turds sometimes float.
He was surrounded and through a lousy break of physics and water level, his gravitational pull had drawn all the turds into tight orbit around his neck.
He tried in vain to make hand flipping motions under the water to push the turds away from him but to no avail as they would first retreat then draw closer as the wave bounced back off the side of the tub.
He decided to stand up fast and minimize the amount of turd to skin contact. After doing this, he got out of the tub and remembered thinking that he really wanted to clean himself up. Of course the tub he would have normally showered in still had shite in it.
He passed out/fell asleep.
He awoke around sunrise in a tub of ice cold water which wouldn't have been so bad. However, he was so relaxed in his tub that apparently he decided to take a nice dump while he slept.
Problem is, turds sometimes float.
He was surrounded and through a lousy break of physics and water level, his gravitational pull had drawn all the turds into tight orbit around his neck.
He tried in vain to make hand flipping motions under the water to push the turds away from him but to no avail as they would first retreat then draw closer as the wave bounced back off the side of the tub.
He decided to stand up fast and minimize the amount of turd to skin contact. After doing this, he got out of the tub and remembered thinking that he really wanted to clean himself up. Of course the tub he would have normally showered in still had shite in it.
Posted on 10/26/18 at 4:09 pm to reverendotis
I used to sleep walk when I got really drunk back in the day, and one night senior year of college, I finally went home with the girl I had been chasing for a couple of months. She and I were both pretty hammered, so we "hung out" and then passed out. Anyways, I got up a little later, and in my drunken stupor tried to find the bathroom in her house. Unfortunately, I walked out of the front door and it locked behind me. Thing is, I was buck naked and it was January. She was too drunk to hear me knocking on her door, but finally her roommate did. I was pretty embarrassed, and that one stuck with me for a while. Occasionally, I will run into her or her roommate, and we always laugh about it. Just glad I didn't get arrested.
Posted on 10/26/18 at 4:25 pm to ExArmyVetIRISHFan
I have a hard time remembering most of my drunk stories but I can tell you one thing. Never ride a bicycle or stand on the edge of a porch and look down while drunk 
Posted on 10/26/18 at 4:30 pm to waiting4saturday
quote:
Got piss drunk on a beach in the USVI, long story short, me and my buddies ended up on a yacht with some SI swimsuit models.
And...???!!!
This post was edited on 10/26/18 at 4:49 pm
Posted on 10/26/18 at 4:43 pm to ExArmyVetIRISHFan
See I'm a nice and mellow drunk when I do get drunk. My big drunk stories revolve around such fascinating topics as... and then I fell asleep or I binge watched Agents of Shield on Netflix.
My father, may he rest in peace, was a more... active drunk.
His first time on Bourbon Street back in the day (very far back in the day) he, as people are prone to do, got completely wasted with some of his Army buddies. Dad climbed up onto one of the old street lamps and began throwing ice cubes at the police when they tried to break up the celebration. Which was going fine because they couldn't get up there to get him... until the police officer on horse back showed up.
Said officer preceded to start whacking him with a billy club, which made dad's perch somewhat precarious. Fortunately a, as dad called him "rather round gentleman", happened to stagger under the streetlamp and dad jumped off and landed on him to cushion his fall. Even better the fat fellow knocked over some police officers when he fell down so they spent their time getting a little night stick time on him while dad made good on his escape.
My father, may he rest in peace, was a more... active drunk.
His first time on Bourbon Street back in the day (very far back in the day) he, as people are prone to do, got completely wasted with some of his Army buddies. Dad climbed up onto one of the old street lamps and began throwing ice cubes at the police when they tried to break up the celebration. Which was going fine because they couldn't get up there to get him... until the police officer on horse back showed up.
Said officer preceded to start whacking him with a billy club, which made dad's perch somewhat precarious. Fortunately a, as dad called him "rather round gentleman", happened to stagger under the streetlamp and dad jumped off and landed on him to cushion his fall. Even better the fat fellow knocked over some police officers when he fell down so they spent their time getting a little night stick time on him while dad made good on his escape.
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