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Your funniest Bama fan story?
Posted on 11/2/21 at 12:33 am
Posted on 11/2/21 at 12:33 am
2012. Rough. We just blew the fricking natty and it's summer time in Destin. At the beach and 3 Bama fans walk up to the pool at me and my two friends hotel and have an LSU flag. One seems ok, the other is a fricking shite head, and the other is the idiot. Of course they're giving us shite, deservedly so, and we're just all talking shite and having a general good time.
Of course the shite head stole an LSU flag off the beach and was bragging about it. He kept shouting our pregame song because he thought it was cool. BUMMMMMM BUMMM BUM BUM! Over and over.
They're all taking shots out of a handle of taaka. They play a game where to take a shot you have to get punched in the face first. I shite you not. Only between the shite head and the dumbass because the rest of us weren't assholes.
The shithead convinces dumbass to go first, and dumbass clinches his jaw. A lot. To the point where the punch broke his fricking side tooth out. He starts bleeding and me and my two friends laugh and gtfo.
Of course the shite head stole an LSU flag off the beach and was bragging about it. He kept shouting our pregame song because he thought it was cool. BUMMMMMM BUMMM BUM BUM! Over and over.
They're all taking shots out of a handle of taaka. They play a game where to take a shot you have to get punched in the face first. I shite you not. Only between the shite head and the dumbass because the rest of us weren't assholes.
The shithead convinces dumbass to go first, and dumbass clinches his jaw. A lot. To the point where the punch broke his fricking side tooth out. He starts bleeding and me and my two friends laugh and gtfo.
15
Posted on 11/2/21 at 12:53 am to whatiknowsofar
It’s 2012 and im living in Atlanta. But from Alabama originally. We just beat UGA in the last moments for the chance to stomp Notre Dame for the Natty. I run outside into the projects screaming Roll Tide!!! Non stop. I get all the way to the other side of the projects before hits me. O no. Im in Atlanta. My butthole tightens. I start a sprint back to my apartment. As im running there’s several dudes outside on their porches looking pretty hard at me. I get back inside, lock all doors. After I realized I made it back and wasn’t dead, I started screaming all over again.
Roll Tide.
Roll Tide.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 12:53 am to whatiknowsofar
Couple years back I was on my way to the homeless shelter with a few boxes of food/clothing for them.
On my way there, these 3 gumps saw the boxes and tried to run me off the road to get them. (Two big fat ugly ones and this little twerp with scary looking teeth)
I pull off the side of the road and politely ask them “Which one of you sister fricking punching bags wants it first?” So the fattest comes charging at me and I drop kicked him through his car window, he tried to crawl out but I walked over and smashed three straights into his jaw, he was out.
Bout that time the 2nd fattest comes after me and I open hand slapped the shite out of him 6 times just for a laugh, then I picked him up over my head and snapped his back over my knee. Might’ve killed that one, I didn’t check.
Finally the little twerp tried me so I grabbed him by his greasy hair, spun around a few times, and launched him at least 300 feet into traffic.
Then, as I started to leave these beautiful girls drove up and said “Wow, the way you stomped those idiot gumps sure was sexy… wanna go do us?” so I did.
On my way there, these 3 gumps saw the boxes and tried to run me off the road to get them. (Two big fat ugly ones and this little twerp with scary looking teeth)
I pull off the side of the road and politely ask them “Which one of you sister fricking punching bags wants it first?” So the fattest comes charging at me and I drop kicked him through his car window, he tried to crawl out but I walked over and smashed three straights into his jaw, he was out.
Bout that time the 2nd fattest comes after me and I open hand slapped the shite out of him 6 times just for a laugh, then I picked him up over my head and snapped his back over my knee. Might’ve killed that one, I didn’t check.
Finally the little twerp tried me so I grabbed him by his greasy hair, spun around a few times, and launched him at least 300 feet into traffic.
Then, as I started to leave these beautiful girls drove up and said “Wow, the way you stomped those idiot gumps sure was sexy… wanna go do us?” so I did.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 1:22 am to WilliamTaylor21
quote:
WilliamTaylor21
I might have believed you... right up until the part about beautiful girls talking you.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 1:24 am to iglass
quote:
I might have believed you... right up until the part about beautiful girls talking you
That and one single fat dude would beat Willy's arse.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 1:36 am to Nitro Express
quote:
Nitro Express
That and one single fat dude would beat Willy's arse.
True... I confess to skipping ahead to the end.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 3:07 am to whatiknowsofar
As a kid growing up in Savannah, I would love spending the summers with my cousins in Dothan Alabama. Huge Bama fans. One year I didn't bring a hat so my uncle took us up to the truck stop for me to get one. I looked through all, Cat Diesel, Fireball's Truck Stop, 76, Carter Sucks etc. I called out to my uncle "What's a War Eagle?" He came off the counter quickly and said "That's what we feed hogs! You're done looking, get the Cat hat." 
Posted on 11/2/21 at 5:10 am to WilliamTaylor21
At a Wal-Mart in Pensacola, I once witnessed a fight between 2 Neanderthal Rednecks wearing Bama shirts.
The fight was over the last tube of Astroglide left on the shelf. (And all the KY was already gone)
I listened closely to the conversation trying to determine if the Astroglide was for use with a sister, cousin or boyfriend, but could not understand enough of their angry verbage to determine said useage.
The fight was over the last tube of Astroglide left on the shelf. (And all the KY was already gone)
I listened closely to the conversation trying to determine if the Astroglide was for use with a sister, cousin or boyfriend, but could not understand enough of their angry verbage to determine said useage.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 5:35 am to whatiknowsofar
Back in my younger days, I was attending a party where I only knew a few folks. So I started mingling, striking up conversations with folks… just working the room and having a good time. Eventually, I came upon a guy wearing a Bama shirt. At that moment, I get a whiff of an extremely pungent armpit odor that was like a slap in the face. I comment loudly that someone’s deodorant wasn’t working. The Bama guy responded, “Well, I know it’s not me, I’m not wearing any…”
Posted on 11/2/21 at 7:08 am to whatiknowsofar
Back in the early 90s watching a Bammer about 6'4" and 250 running his mouth. Then get that arse beat in the middle of 17th St.
Vol fan that fired that fat head up for him was probably every bit of 5'10" and 190.
Vol fan that fired that fat head up for him was probably every bit of 5'10" and 190.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 7:33 am to semjase
quote:
could not understand enough of their angry verbage to determine said useage
The curse of the intellectual high ground strikes again.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 7:33 am to whatiknowsofar
Can we not just use REAL stories and not made up fantasy BS?
Posted on 11/2/21 at 7:36 am to elit4ce05
Alabama vs Miami 1993 Sugar Bowl:
I thought I was going to lose my brother the day of this game.
We were at our hunting lodge in South Alabama. Had just gotten back in from the morning hunt and were eating breakfast. My brother wasn't happy with the reception and placed his milk glass on top of the TV, as he commenced with trying to fix it. Needless to say, a couple of bangs on the side of the old shitty satellite fed box TV later, the milk spilled and shorted it out.
The initial arse whipping was bad. And, there was talk that 15 was long enough for any boy to live. But, several hours of him holding a hair dryer to the TV later and all was well.
Tremendous game and feeling. That game, the 2009 SEC CG, and the following NCG are 3 of my favorite sports memories of all time.
My brother surviving to live another day when Dad and Uncles were contemplating otherwise was just icing on the cake.
My brother is 44 now, and my dad still gives him a load of shite about not going near the TV anytime we are together for a big game at home.
I thought I was going to lose my brother the day of this game.
We were at our hunting lodge in South Alabama. Had just gotten back in from the morning hunt and were eating breakfast. My brother wasn't happy with the reception and placed his milk glass on top of the TV, as he commenced with trying to fix it. Needless to say, a couple of bangs on the side of the old shitty satellite fed box TV later, the milk spilled and shorted it out.
The initial arse whipping was bad. And, there was talk that 15 was long enough for any boy to live. But, several hours of him holding a hair dryer to the TV later and all was well.
Tremendous game and feeling. That game, the 2009 SEC CG, and the following NCG are 3 of my favorite sports memories of all time.
My brother surviving to live another day when Dad and Uncles were contemplating otherwise was just icing on the cake.
My brother is 44 now, and my dad still gives him a load of shite about not going near the TV anytime we are together for a big game at home.
This post was edited on 11/2/21 at 7:39 am
Posted on 11/2/21 at 7:44 am to elit4ce05
[Can we not just use REAL stories and not made up fantasy BS?]
I know, this had potential and peaked my interest. But as TD usual, disappointment.
I know, this had potential and peaked my interest. But as TD usual, disappointment.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 7:57 am to Che Boludo
During Tuberville's reign of terror, post game in Tuscaloosa we were headed back to the Ferg. As we passed the tailgaters in front of Gorgas House you could hear a very outraged fan and friends attempting to calm him down. As we passed the scene my man kicked a full styrofoam cooler to pieces and across the street. Was the best kick by a Bammer for years to come. True story.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 8:58 am to iglass
quote:
I might have believed you... right up until the part about beautiful girls talking you.
It's amazing how much funnier you were than him, despite needing a single sentence to his whole paragraph.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 8:59 am to whatiknowsofar
2014 Sugar Bowl Playoff - All of their fans curled up in the fetal position crying hounds tooth tears after THE Ohio State Buckeyes smacked them around with a 3rd string qb.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 9:01 am to sup
quote:
2014 Sugar Bowl Playoff - All of their fans curled up in the fetal position crying hounds tooth tears after THE Ohio State Buckeyes smacked them around with a 3rd string qb.
It was a very good win for OSU. Congrats.
Posted on 11/2/21 at 9:10 am to whatiknowsofar
Posted on 11/2/21 at 9:13 am to whatiknowsofar
This one time an LSU fan stuck his fanga in my boody and I was mad
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