This board is dead today. We need some funny stuff

<<<sleeping at the office. Everytime I roll over that stupid motion detector light goes on and wakes me up. Oh yeah...that's not funny

How about the post Orson Swindle made today at EDSBS ( LINK):

quote:

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CENTRAL MICHIGAN PLAYER IMPRESSED, HORRIFIED BY SEC CROWD
Central Michigan football player Brian Brunner writes a blog on NCAA.com, and in his entry on Georgia he details his impressions of the tailgating scene in Athens, which sound slightly awed and horrified all at once.

There was one scene so bizarre and frankly a bit frightening that offensive tackle Andrew Hartline nudged me and had me look out the window.

“Groups of people were tailgating in a cemetery. Welcome to SEC football.”

The scariest part: the cemetery wasn’t there when they got there. Ah, we kid! That only happens in Baton Rouge, and you could be next. They strike at any time, without warning; your only hope is running fast enough and long enough to induce a heart attack in your pursuer when a whole piece of andouille becomes lodged in their aorta.

What Brunner saw was clearly his first zombie tailgate, a phenomenon common in the American South and especially South Carolina and Louisiana. They’re fine, respectable people for the most part, though you definitely don’t want to share food with them, and they have a tendency to steal juice from your generators when you’re not looking.



In fact, sometimes zombies form their own football teams down here, Mr. Brunner, and suit them up and everything. We call them the ACC, and they range from the sluggish, Night of the Living Dead variety (NC State) to the shockingly fierce and athletic Day of the Dead style bone-mashers (Miami.) This moment of cultural understanding brought to you by EDSBS: Promoting Misunderstanding and Exaggeration of Southern Foibles since 2005.

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I'd hit that zombie chick on the left with blood coming out her nose

Do you know why Alabama can't have Driver's Ed and Sex Ed on the same day?
... They only have one mule

What is the difference between a litter of puppies and Alabama fans?
The puppies stop whining after 6 weeks.

How many Alabama fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but it takes a roomfull to sit around and talk about how the BEAR would have done it.

Crazy sports quotes that are still funny (I love Bum's the best):

Upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say:
"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super
Bowl," -- Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To
win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You
guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You
guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a
circle."

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again
with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him
to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not
Princeton "

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why
he keeps a color photo of himself above h is locker:
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I
can still find my clothes."


Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president , on a former player:
"I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it
ignorance or apathy?' He said, "Coach, I don't
know and I don't care."

Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M,
recounting what he told a player who received four F's
and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending
too much time on one subject."

Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when
asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road
trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too ugly to
kiss good-bye."

Two Alabama Fans are walking down different ends of a street toward each other. One is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Bobby Ray, whatcha got in the bag?" "Just some chickens." "If i guess how many there are, can i have one?" "Hell, i'll give you both of them!" "OK, uummmm...five?"