re: If you played football in Highschool or beyond...

My HS OL coach was demanding and tough. He’d get on you if you made a mistake. He liked to yell. But he never disrespected me or treated me like a meaningless piece of meat; it was always to try to get me to be a better player and get the most out of us as individual players and a team. And I knew he cared about me.

He also was intense pretty much only during practice, rarely/never during halftime/on the sidelines of games (he was really relaxed then). And he was really cool off the field. Most of the coaches on staff were like that. And we were one of the best programs in the state of Ohio.

I don’t think most coaches can be successful being players’ best friends. Maybe a few (e.g., Pete Carroll) but not many. You have to be intense. But you don’t have to be a complete jerk either. In fact, I think if your players hate your guts, it’s hard to get them to respect you/hard to get them to play hard for you.