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Good day to revisit MercerBears' trips to Oxford & the ensuing hilarity
Posted on 8/15/17 at 11:26 am
Posted on 8/15/17 at 11:26 am
Today, let us remember two of the greatest threads the SECRant has ever been graced with. Long, but well worth it. Original thread links included below. Enjoy
Original thread #1
Original thread "#2"
quote:
Posted by MercerBears
Oxford bad experience last week end
never again am i gonna go back to that place.
so i get sent there for work over week end so end up goin to same bar every nite just to pass the time so me and ole boy workin bar get to be pretty cool.
we start doin draft kings but my cell screens cracked up so i use his to do my picks when he start talkin bout his problems with his girl that she dont satisfy him any more and says she went to aggies but now over seas for the army.
after ten min ramblin like a parett he gets a video call on his i pad from her so he goes to the back to talk which is good i know its hard to be real far away from people u love but 1 hr past and he still back there and his cell chargin on the bar so i use it to check pelican score cause my cell screens cracked up.
i go to google and type in p for pelican and shite ton porn book marks go everywere so i start snoopin to see what this guy really like since he the one makin all my drinks.
come to find he into weird shite i never seen when they put there meat in a hole in the wall but im not picky with porns so i slide to corner of bar and fast forward little bit and see arse gettin munch on so i rewind back a little.
they was both men.
ole boy girls over sea fightin isis while he servin drinks with hands after beatin his meat to non hetero sexual films.
i payed then left quiet and thank god for watchin over me cause brook lopez end up droppin 33 winnin me 30 bucks but this the kind of shits goin on up in oxford just to warn yall.
quote:
Posted by MercerBears
Oxford bad experience last week end again
Oxford bad experience again
so last time i get sent there for work over week end me and ole boy workin bar get to be pretty cool until i find weird porns on his phone that was not hetero sexual films which i never seen before cause im not gay i sell propane
come this week end my boss tell me i gotta go back up there for work so i say fool me 1 time and head on up against better jugement i agree
my new girl from batesvilles been tellin me i need to go see her figured id get 2 birds stoned at once so we hit up chillys friday and i order the meat queso and southern mexican rolls and watch her eat them with napkin in lap. yall prolly been there but after u dated for a bit alot started changin when she get to comfy. come saturday i go to exit off 55 and call her askin to see what she want to eat.
said she dont care. she never care legedlly.
so i start pickin for her and she start sayin ew no so i hang up then hit up krystle burger for sliders. new years promise was not to eat before gettin home so i only sip the sprite.
when i get to her house she say wheres my food i say you didnt want none. once my sprites gone i realize she been gone 5 min after that and i leave my krystles in the front seat cause i only remembered the sprite cause jesus.
i go down to the yard and see her eatin all my krystles tryin to act innocent with a pickles on her tittys but i didnt say shite cause i wanted some arse
so now we cuddlin up im hungriern shite watchin play offs when her ex text her. i never met em before and she start talkin bout em.
i had to ask if he fricked. He did. before she continues the little krystles had her fricked up. 42 minutes later she calls me sayin comode wont flush. i come in and find some frickery.
girl shits not suppose to be biggern febrese bottles. so tryin to unclog it i ask if his dicks biggern mine.
im confident.
she calmly point down sayin its bout size of the size of her shite.
i start thinkin bout all my exs and drop the plunger. got in my truck then got on out. she been gettin four arm dick. never goin back to oxford.
harold and kumar didnt go to krystles for this and neither did i.
Original thread #1
Original thread "#2"
This post was edited on 8/15/17 at 11:27 am
Posted on 8/15/17 at 11:33 am to Tuscaloosa
quote:
Tuscaloosa
Thank You for doing the Lords work and spreading this joy
quote:
MercerBears
Posted on 8/15/17 at 11:42 am to Tuscaloosa
Mercer's posts never fail to make me lmfao. Kinda embarrassed myself this time....I'm at the gym on the treadmill working out and I erupted into loud laughter and I mean it was loud...oops.
Posted on 8/15/17 at 11:44 am to Carolina_Girl
Is that you in the avatar? I can see working out pays off
Posted on 8/15/17 at 11:45 am to OxyCodine
Yeah, that's me. Gotta take care of this body...only get one and it has to last a lifetime, right?
Posted on 8/15/17 at 11:47 am to Carolina_Girl
quote:
I'm at the gym on the treadmill working out and I erupted into loud laughter and I mean it was loud...oops.
I too make loud, embarrassing eruptions at the gym Don't let it stop you
Posted on 8/15/17 at 11:51 am to Vecchio Cane
quote:
I too make loud, embarrassing eruptions at the gym Don't let it stop you
Damn you! That made me laugh harder than the first time! I'm not a typical chick in that manner....I find fart/bodily emissions jokes hilarious as all get out. Always have. Might be bc I'm a nurse...or might be why I'm a nurse. Works either way.
This post was edited on 8/15/17 at 11:52 am
Posted on 8/15/17 at 11:56 am to Carolina_Girl
I can last a lifetime
Posted on 8/15/17 at 11:58 am to Carolina_Girl
quote:a nurse. my fave...
Damn you! That made me laugh harder than the first time! I'm not a typical chick in that manner....I find fart/bodily emissions jokes hilarious as all get out. Always have. Might be bc I'm a nurse...or might be why I'm a nurse. Works either way.
Posted on 8/15/17 at 12:05 pm to OxyCodine
quote:
I can last a lifetime
this statement from
quote:
OxyCodine
is creepily hilarious
Posted on 8/15/17 at 12:08 pm to OxyCodine
quote:
OxyCodine
Being a nurse, she knows that it is oxycodone.
Posted on 8/15/17 at 12:16 pm to Tuscaloosa
Macon, GA represented perfectly
Posted on 8/15/17 at 1:55 pm to Tuscaloosa
Lawd....that's priceless..... :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Posted on 8/15/17 at 2:01 pm to Tuscaloosa
Hahahahaha I forgot about that.
Started doing DraftKings. Yes.
Started doing DraftKings. Yes.
Posted on 8/15/17 at 2:04 pm to Tuscaloosa
quote:
i go down to the yard and see her eatin all my krystles tryin to act innocent with a pickles on her tittys but i didnt say shite cause i wanted some arse
I can't even
Is it bad when I read this I picture Stingray as the narrator and main character?
Posted on 8/15/17 at 2:04 pm to Tuscaloosa
quote:
i go down to the yard and see her eatin all my krystles tryin to act innocent with a pickles on her tittys but i didnt say shite cause i wanted some arse
I had to duck down so people wouldn't see me laughing so hard.
Posted on 8/15/17 at 4:50 pm to Tuscaloosa
Bump for the enjoyment of the afternoon & evening crew.
Posted on 8/15/17 at 5:16 pm to Tuscaloosa
some other things happen a month a go that i will share after they get theres from the ncca
This post was edited on 8/15/17 at 5:17 pm
Posted on 8/15/17 at 5:28 pm to Tuscaloosa
quote:
come saturday i go to exit off 55 and call her askin to see what she want to eat. said she dont care. she never care legedlly.
Mercer is spitting TRUTH on these women...
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