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Suicide
Posted on 4/17/17 at 10:58 pm
Posted on 4/17/17 at 10:58 pm
The sad fact is that many if not most of us have been touched in some way by Suicide, be it friends, family, or even attempts by ourselves. Perhaps even sadder is that this often tends to run in families much like cardiovascular disease or diabetes.
I learned this evening while speaking with my mother that my grandfather who I never knew because he died before I was born did not actually die of a heart attack. He killed himself and this is and has been a family Secret due to the extremely taboo nature of mental illness and suicide.
I don't necessarily have a huge point that I'm trying to make; I'm more trying to talk through my feelings about a man that I never knew and yet who has touched my life in some significant ways.
Have any of you perhaps gone through the suicide or attempted suicide of a loved one and don't mind talking a little bit about how it affected you? I know how touchy of a subject it can be and finding people who are willing to open up about it can be difficult. Any insight or description of your feelings and experiences I'm sure would be immensely helpful to me and greatly appreciated.
G-d bless y'all.
I learned this evening while speaking with my mother that my grandfather who I never knew because he died before I was born did not actually die of a heart attack. He killed himself and this is and has been a family Secret due to the extremely taboo nature of mental illness and suicide.
I don't necessarily have a huge point that I'm trying to make; I'm more trying to talk through my feelings about a man that I never knew and yet who has touched my life in some significant ways.
Have any of you perhaps gone through the suicide or attempted suicide of a loved one and don't mind talking a little bit about how it affected you? I know how touchy of a subject it can be and finding people who are willing to open up about it can be difficult. Any insight or description of your feelings and experiences I'm sure would be immensely helpful to me and greatly appreciated.
G-d bless y'all.
This post was edited on 4/17/17 at 11:16 pm
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Posted on 4/17/17 at 11:10 pm to The muffintime
It wasn't a family member, but a co-worker I was close to committed suicide 11 years ago, after leaving work.
I knew something serious had been up, but didn't say anything or try to "be there", but rather gave "space". It turned out that there were overwhelming domestic and financial issues and he finally snapped.
I've often wondered what difference a few caring words would have made. After that, I never hold my words back or hesitate to offer, if I suspect someone needs an ear.
It must be a horrible feeling to get to that point. If you suspect it is happening, be there. Talk to them; don't be silent. Let them know someone gives a shite. Do what you can to get them help if they need more than an ear.
I knew something serious had been up, but didn't say anything or try to "be there", but rather gave "space". It turned out that there were overwhelming domestic and financial issues and he finally snapped.
I've often wondered what difference a few caring words would have made. After that, I never hold my words back or hesitate to offer, if I suspect someone needs an ear.
It must be a horrible feeling to get to that point. If you suspect it is happening, be there. Talk to them; don't be silent. Let them know someone gives a shite. Do what you can to get them help if they need more than an ear.
This post was edited on 4/17/17 at 11:15 pm
Posted on 4/17/17 at 11:18 pm to The muffintime
Sorry man.
A very close family friend of ours, for 30 years, committed suicide (gunshot).
Like p said, you can't ever reach out too much to people you think are going through struggles.
If you have loved ones that you know better than the back of your hand, and they are showing "different" signs, reach out and shoot the shite with them. Not necessarily calling them out or asking directly, but any form of communication could be the difference between life or death.
Life is too short.
Sorry again brosef.
A very close family friend of ours, for 30 years, committed suicide (gunshot).
Like p said, you can't ever reach out too much to people you think are going through struggles.
If you have loved ones that you know better than the back of your hand, and they are showing "different" signs, reach out and shoot the shite with them. Not necessarily calling them out or asking directly, but any form of communication could be the difference between life or death.
Life is too short.
Sorry again brosef.
Posted on 4/17/17 at 11:20 pm to The muffintime
You chose wisely posting here instead of the OT Lounge.
Posted on 4/17/17 at 11:27 pm to p0845330
Thank you to everyone who has posted so far. This is heavy stuff and it's doesn't leave you so easily. Your points about always being there and offering help to people who need it are well taken.
Posted on 4/18/17 at 12:53 am to The muffintime
Sorry to hear about that man need anyone to talk to im here ... as my story there was a girl i was kinda had a crush on her talked to her a few times not sure if its true but its always hear she O'D in a rough part of my town said it was suicide
This post was edited on 4/18/17 at 12:59 am
Posted on 4/18/17 at 9:43 am to The muffintime
It's tough, I had a school acquaintance who was a couple grades below me that thought about doing it in middle school. He got to high school and dated a girl for almost two years and broke up. I started dating the same girl a year later and then he ran away to an old abandoned house and committed suicide. I'll never forget his mom telling my then gf that he still loved her. The thought of me playing a part in him deciding to do that ate at me for awhile. I would've never dated her if I known he still loved her.
Posted on 4/18/17 at 11:37 am to The muffintime
quote:
He killed himself and this is and has been a family Secret due to the extremely taboo nature of mental illness and suicide.
Maybe it's because of my reductionist philosophy but I've never understood the stigma attached to mental illness. How, practically speaking, is it different from any other illness or injury? The vast majority of mental illnesses are temporary and treatable, especially depression.
At any given time, some 30% of Americans are having mental problems because of emotional stress, physical injuries or other causes. Usually the source of the problem changes or is changed and the mental problem is abated.
During the course of our lives we experience physical and mental illnesses and injuries. It's normal. We react to them differently, however. Physical illnesses and injuries have hardly any stigma. Heck, we even brag about some of them.
"Yeah, I broke my arm jumping that canyon on my dirt bike, man!"
Or, "I get the flu every year. Gets me out of work for about a week."
Ever heard someone brag about a mental illness or injury, though? No, we're ashamed and secretive about them. It's like we think we'll be judged negatively if we reveal them or go to a doctor for help.
Of course, the sad reality is that we will be judged negatively by most people. We see mental illness, any mental illness, as a weakness. That's why it, and the suicides that result from untreated mental illness, are social taboos in most societies.
It's incredible to think that most mental illnesses and injuries, and the number of most resulting suicides could be minimized if we could just educate people to regard them in the same light as physical injuries and illnesses.
This post was edited on 4/18/17 at 11:40 am
Posted on 4/18/17 at 12:01 pm to Kentucker
quote:
Maybe it's because of my reductionist philosophy but I've never understood the stigma attached to mental illness. How, practically speaking, is it different from any other illness or injury?
I think a lot of people that suffer from it attach the stigma themselves. Some feel it shows weakness. I have a friend whose brother served in Iraq and Afghanistan that clearly has PTSD, but refuses to seek help because of male machismo. It's killing his mother because the person she's talking to is not her son. It's a really tough situation.
I've battled depression off and on for 20 years, and it's only been in the past few years I haven't felt ashamed to admit it. Never had suicidal thoughts, or at least serious ones. I have felt so helpless before, death seemed like the best outcome. That's been years ago though.
Posted on 4/18/17 at 1:49 pm to Kentucker
quote:I am with you and I wish that we were more open about mental illness. Maybe if more people felt like they could talk about it then things wouldn't get so bad.
Maybe it's because of my reductionist philosophy but I've never understood the stigma attached to mental illness. How, practically speaking, is it different from any other illness or injury? The vast majority of mental illnesses are temporary and treatable, especially depression.
Posted on 4/18/17 at 9:19 pm to The muffintime
My gf's father blew his head off with my rifle in my apartment Labor Day 2016. To this day the event feels like a blurry out of body experience.
Posted on 4/18/17 at 9:41 pm to plazadweller
How awful. I hope you and your girl friend are getting help in processing that tragedy.
Posted on 4/18/17 at 11:01 pm to The muffintime
I attempted one time. Luckily I failed. That point in my life seems like such a blur. Afterwards all I could think of was how stupid it was and how much I would have hurt my family and friends. Glad I'm still here because life is pretty good.
Posted on 4/18/17 at 11:28 pm to DesignTiger
quote:That is so wonderful! I'm so happy for your new happiness and that you got another chance at life :D
I attempted one time. Luckily I failed. That point in my life seems like such a blur. Afterwards all I could think of was how stupid it was and how much I would have hurt my family and friends. Glad I'm still here because life is pretty good.
Posted on 4/18/17 at 11:32 pm to DesignTiger
quote:god bless you brotha glad you figured that out
I attempted one time. Luckily I failed. That point in my life seems like such a blur. Afterwards all I could think of was how stupid it was and how much I would have hurt my family and friends. Glad I'm still here because life is pretty good.
I attempted one time. Luckily I failed. That point in my life seems like such a blur. Afterwards all I could think of was how stupid it was and how much I would have hurt my family and friends. Glad I'm still here because life is pretty good.
Posted on 4/19/17 at 1:57 am to The muffintime
I probably think of killing myself once every week -- not really, but I feel ''tired'' from time to time and feel like I've done enough with my life, so I ask myself: What else is there to do?
I tried after doing some PMC work and since then haven't literally thought or planned it out. I can't trust myself to drive a car because I consistently think about driving into oncoming traffic.
Anyway, the way I look at it: Everyone has their reason to do it, and some feel like they're ready for the next stage -- even if it means an endless rest.
I tried after doing some PMC work and since then haven't literally thought or planned it out. I can't trust myself to drive a car because I consistently think about driving into oncoming traffic.
Anyway, the way I look at it: Everyone has their reason to do it, and some feel like they're ready for the next stage -- even if it means an endless rest.
Posted on 4/19/17 at 11:00 am to StrawsDrawnAtRandom
quote:
but I feel ''tired'' from time to time and feel like I've done enough with my life, so I ask myself: What else is there to do?
There is to know. We get so caught up in what is expected of us that we overlook the wonder of existence itself. We rank what we were taught about our place in life above living. We get bored. We have to find something that challenges us, that nourishes the need to know.
Most people look for the "why" of life and inevitably paint themselves into the corner of religion and philosophy where they're forced to be content with beliefs. Others search for the "how" and open the door to infinity. The former can lead to a life of figurative boundaries with which they can be content as their lives pass. The latter have no such security, artificial as it is, but can be as content as they explore the starkness of an objective reality.
Posted on 4/19/17 at 11:13 am to The muffintime
Friend from high school hung himself.
His father and grandfather also committed suicide.
I don't think this is an inherited trait, but this makes you wonder.
His father and grandfather also committed suicide.
I don't think this is an inherited trait, but this makes you wonder.
Posted on 4/19/17 at 8:23 pm to Count Chocula
Whether it's inherited biologically or a purely social trait suicide most definitely runs in families. Depression is an inherited trait and it's obviously a massive suicide risk factor.
This post was edited on 4/19/17 at 8:31 pm
Posted on 4/19/17 at 10:53 pm to The muffintime
Weird you started this thread then all the Hernandez shite happened... eery.
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