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SEC Coach UFC Challenge
Posted on 8/1/16 at 4:54 pm
Posted on 8/1/16 at 4:54 pm
If the SEC coaches agreed to an UFC type challenge, how would it go? 
Here are the contestants:
1. Alabama Crimson Tide: Nick Saban
2. Arkansas Razorbacks: Bret Bielema
3. Auburn Tigers: Gus Malzahn
4. Florida Gators: Jim McElwain
5. Georgia Bulldogs: Kirby Smart
6. Kentucky Wildcats: Mark Stoops
7. LSU Tigers: Les Miles
8. Ole Miss Rebels: Hugh Freeze
9. Mississippi State Bulldogs: Dan Mullen
10. Missouri Tigers: Barry Odom
11. South Carolina Gamecocks: Will Muschamp
12. Tennessee Volunteers: Butch Jones
13. Texas A&M Aggies: Kevin Sumlin
14. Vanderbilt Commodores: Derek Mason
If we seed the fights just alphabetical, this is my take for the first round:
First Round
Alabama Crimson Tide: Nick Saban vs Vanderbilt Commodores: Derek Mason
I’m going to have to go with Mason. Saban will probably kick him in the balls, but Saban is an itty bitty fellar. Mason will probably rough Nick up a bit.
Arkansas Razorbacks: Bret Bielema vs Texas A&M Aggies: Kevin Sumlin
This will be a good one. If Sumlin is sober, he will probably give Bret a good fight. But, Bret is a big man and will win. He might eat him.
Auburn Tigers: Gus Malzahn vs Tennessee Volunteers: Butch Jones
No contest. Butch will beat the frick out of the Guster. And, probably give a good Dutch rub at the end.
Florida Gators: Jim McElwain vs South Carolina Gamecocks: Will Muschamp
Another no contest. Muschamp will skull drag this guy.
Georgia Bulldogs: Kirby Smart vs Missouri Tigers: Barry Odom
Interesting matchup. This one could go either way. I think Smart will end up winning this after a long battle.
Kentucky Wildcats: Mark Stoops vs Mississippi State Bulldogs: Dan Mullen
I’m leaning towards Stoops in this one. He seems to be pissed about life, in general. He’s waiting for a chance to take it out on someone.
LSU Tigers: Les Miles vs Ole Miss Rebels: Hugh Freeze
Les will easily win this, but his hands will be cut up from punching the Bucky in the mouth. Wear some protection, Les.
Thoughts?
Here are the contestants:
1. Alabama Crimson Tide: Nick Saban
2. Arkansas Razorbacks: Bret Bielema
3. Auburn Tigers: Gus Malzahn
4. Florida Gators: Jim McElwain
5. Georgia Bulldogs: Kirby Smart
6. Kentucky Wildcats: Mark Stoops
7. LSU Tigers: Les Miles
8. Ole Miss Rebels: Hugh Freeze
9. Mississippi State Bulldogs: Dan Mullen
10. Missouri Tigers: Barry Odom
11. South Carolina Gamecocks: Will Muschamp
12. Tennessee Volunteers: Butch Jones
13. Texas A&M Aggies: Kevin Sumlin
14. Vanderbilt Commodores: Derek Mason
If we seed the fights just alphabetical, this is my take for the first round:
First Round
Alabama Crimson Tide: Nick Saban vs Vanderbilt Commodores: Derek Mason
I’m going to have to go with Mason. Saban will probably kick him in the balls, but Saban is an itty bitty fellar. Mason will probably rough Nick up a bit.
Arkansas Razorbacks: Bret Bielema vs Texas A&M Aggies: Kevin Sumlin
This will be a good one. If Sumlin is sober, he will probably give Bret a good fight. But, Bret is a big man and will win. He might eat him.
Auburn Tigers: Gus Malzahn vs Tennessee Volunteers: Butch Jones
No contest. Butch will beat the frick out of the Guster. And, probably give a good Dutch rub at the end.
Florida Gators: Jim McElwain vs South Carolina Gamecocks: Will Muschamp
Another no contest. Muschamp will skull drag this guy.
Georgia Bulldogs: Kirby Smart vs Missouri Tigers: Barry Odom
Interesting matchup. This one could go either way. I think Smart will end up winning this after a long battle.
Kentucky Wildcats: Mark Stoops vs Mississippi State Bulldogs: Dan Mullen
I’m leaning towards Stoops in this one. He seems to be pissed about life, in general. He’s waiting for a chance to take it out on someone.
LSU Tigers: Les Miles vs Ole Miss Rebels: Hugh Freeze
Les will easily win this, but his hands will be cut up from punching the Bucky in the mouth. Wear some protection, Les.
Thoughts?
10
Posted on 8/1/16 at 4:54 pm to Central Pork
Sumlin doesn't feel pain. Too drunk
Posted on 8/1/16 at 5:22 pm to Central Pork
Gotta disagree on Malzahn vs Butch. Gus is 6'4", he has a long reach. Butch is a band nerd.
Posted on 8/1/16 at 5:22 pm to Central Pork
quote:
Thoughts?
31 days
Posted on 8/1/16 at 5:23 pm to NorthGwinnettTiger
*25 days
Posted on 8/1/16 at 5:26 pm to Central Pork
It ultimately works its way to a final 4 of:
Muschamp v Kirby
Mullin v. Bert
Bert beats Mullin. Muschamp's crazy outlasts Kirby's crafty.
Muschamp v Bert and bert knocks him out.
Muschamp v Kirby
Mullin v. Bert
Bert beats Mullin. Muschamp's crazy outlasts Kirby's crafty.
Muschamp v Bert and bert knocks him out.
Posted on 8/1/16 at 5:31 pm to Central Pork
Bert going to pull a Brock Lesnar and smother somebody
Posted on 8/1/16 at 5:35 pm to Central Pork
LOL. Odom would beat Smart's sloppy arse all over the octagon.
Dude has Bama bangs and man boobs, while Odom has a jaw carved out of pure granite.
Dude has Bama bangs and man boobs, while Odom has a jaw carved out of pure granite.
Posted on 8/1/16 at 5:59 pm to BowlJackson
quote:
Gotta disagree on Malzahn vs Butch. Gus is 6'4", he has a long reach. Butch is a band nerd.
If Butch can't beat him straight up, he'll just have some football players do it for him.
This post was edited on 8/1/16 at 9:42 pm
Posted on 8/1/16 at 6:13 pm to Central Pork
I like it. I would have Mullen and Malzahn nmakin it through the first round though
Posted on 8/1/16 at 6:21 pm to BowlJackson
I didn't know that about Butch. That is a factor.
But, Gus is pretty much a pussy. This could end up as a good battle.
But, Gus is pretty much a pussy. This could end up as a good battle.
Posted on 8/1/16 at 6:40 pm to Central Pork
Sorry that Gus beat down your HS and ruined your senior homecoming
Posted on 8/1/16 at 6:46 pm to BowlJackson
quote:
Sorry that Gus beat down your HS and ruined your senior homecoming
I never heard of Gus Malzahn until the Mitch Mustain drama. Eat my arse.
Posted on 8/1/16 at 6:46 pm to Central Pork
Gus vs butch
Friday night sissy fights
Friday night sissy fights
This post was edited on 8/1/16 at 6:53 pm
Posted on 8/1/16 at 6:47 pm to hogminer
quote:Stoops would straighten out Mullen's hunchback with a swift kick in the junk.
I would have Mullen and Malzahn nmakin it through the first round though
Posted on 8/1/16 at 8:53 pm to bamasgot13
quote:
It ultimately works its way to a final 4 of:
Muschamp v Kirby
Mullin v. Bert
Bert beats Mullin. Muschamp's crazy outlasts Kirby's crafty.
Muschamp v Bert and bert knocks him out.
I agree with this for the most part expect I would have Les in over Mullen.
Posted on 8/1/16 at 8:56 pm to Central Pork
Lesticles is ready
Posted on 8/1/16 at 9:00 pm to Central Pork
I like Muschamp to go the distance here. He's just so pissed off all the time and seems like no matter how many times you knock him down, he keeps coming back.
quote:
No matter how big a guy might be, Nicky would take him on. You beat Nicky with fists, he comes back with a bat. You beat him with a knife, he comes back with a gun. And if you beat him with a gun, you better kill him, because he'll keep comin' back and back until one of you is dead.
Posted on 8/1/16 at 9:41 pm to Central Pork
Second Round
Arkansas Razorbacks: Bret Bielema vs Vanderbilt Commodores: Derek Mason
This one won’t last long. Mason roughed up little Nick, but Bret will grab him a “Full Nelson” early and it will be over.
Auburn Tigers: Gus Malzahn vs South Carolina Gamecocks: Will Muschamp
The Guster got the decision over Butch because of the evidence of Butch’s sissy band pics and the numerous PMs I received.
However, Muschamp will beat the dog shite out of Gus. No contest.
Missouri Tigers: Barry Odom vs Kentucky Wildcats: Mark Stoops
This might be the best matchup of the whole thing. Both of these guys are mentally unstable, which makes for a good fight. I still think Stoops is on the edge and will go ape shite and win.
LSU Tigers: Les Miles vs Bye
Les gets the only Bye of the deal. It’s shite like this that makes sense to expand the SEC to 16 teams. No one gets a Bye if we have 16 teams and coaches. Dammit!
Arkansas Razorbacks: Bret Bielema vs Vanderbilt Commodores: Derek Mason
This one won’t last long. Mason roughed up little Nick, but Bret will grab him a “Full Nelson” early and it will be over.
Auburn Tigers: Gus Malzahn vs South Carolina Gamecocks: Will Muschamp
The Guster got the decision over Butch because of the evidence of Butch’s sissy band pics and the numerous PMs I received.
However, Muschamp will beat the dog shite out of Gus. No contest.
Missouri Tigers: Barry Odom vs Kentucky Wildcats: Mark Stoops
This might be the best matchup of the whole thing. Both of these guys are mentally unstable, which makes for a good fight. I still think Stoops is on the edge and will go ape shite and win.
LSU Tigers: Les Miles vs Bye
Les gets the only Bye of the deal. It’s shite like this that makes sense to expand the SEC to 16 teams. No one gets a Bye if we have 16 teams and coaches. Dammit!
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