Abso-fricking-lutely.

Dillon Day, having a week off from Denver Bronco's bathroom duty, and nursing an injured foot, was in Oxford last Thursday. While there, he spotted Laremy Tunsil riding around with some other players. Incensed that Laremy actually has people who like him (or "friends" in common parlance), Day went straight to the Miller-Tunsil home to ask Laremy's mother what she was feeding Laremy to make him likable.

When he arrived, Lindsey Miller was outside on the front porch counting Monopoly money, drinking a make-believe mojito, and petting two imaginary Great Danes (Lucky and Blessed). Day asked him what he was doing, and Miller replied, "Getting ready for the real thing, man."

This further angered Day, as he went undrafted, and has been living off of his $8,000 signing bonus, Easy Cheeze and light bread for the past several months.

To that, Day replied, "Hey, dude, get ready to be counting nothing. I saw your stepson riding around with Ari Gold, Jerry McGuire, Bob Sugar (they've patched things up), and Myron Bolitar in a yellow drop-top 'Stang!" Day stomped down the stairs of the home, and left in his MSU Helmet Golf Cart.

Miller, being easily befuddled, and slightly intoxicated on his concocted cocktail, ran inside and confronted Desiree, "Just what in Gawd's name is young Paycheck doing with those agents!?!? It ain't time, yet!!!"

Knowing that Mr. Miller was confused by simple things, she explained to him that it was absolutely untrue, that Laremy was on a secret mission right now and she could not divulge his whereabouts. Mr. Miller, a control freak, came unglued. He approached Desiree, and right then, Laremy emerged from the basement, where he was working on a project to stop global warming proponents from taking over the world.

As Miller pushed Desiree, Laremy grabbed his arm and said, "Hey, you... get your damn hands off her!"

Miller, embarrassed that young Laremy got the better of him, ran outside, where Dan Mullen, dressed as Buford T. Justice, was waiting with the Lafayette County Sheriff's Department. Just as he related the story Day told him to faux Sheriff Justice, Laremy, not wanting to draw attention to his secret project, sped away from the home on his Vespa, and went straight to Freezes' office to inform him of what occurred.

The rest, my friends, is history.

TL;DR-It's a conspiracy and a lie. A conspiralie.

This post was edited on 6/30/15 at 9:10 pm