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OT: Anyone ever been through a divorce here?
Posted on 3/6/14 at 6:20 pm
Posted on 3/6/14 at 6:20 pm
Just curious on any advice you guys may have.
What's Arkansas like? Is the state more lenient towards women, no matter how bat shite crazy they are?
I've pretty much had a lame duck POS wife over the last year or so and it's time for a change. She isn't worth a crap as a mother. Doesn't clean, doesn't cook. I pay for a nanny(when she is home for at least 8 hrs a day). I pay for a house cleaner(when she is at home for at least 8 hours a day). I also do 100% of any cooking at my home. If it were up to her, the child would eat Tyson chicken nuggets for every meal and a pop tart for breakfast.
Any and all input accepted!
What's Arkansas like? Is the state more lenient towards women, no matter how bat shite crazy they are?
I've pretty much had a lame duck POS wife over the last year or so and it's time for a change. She isn't worth a crap as a mother. Doesn't clean, doesn't cook. I pay for a nanny(when she is home for at least 8 hrs a day). I pay for a house cleaner(when she is at home for at least 8 hours a day). I also do 100% of any cooking at my home. If it were up to her, the child would eat Tyson chicken nuggets for every meal and a pop tart for breakfast.
Any and all input accepted!
Posted on 3/6/14 at 6:28 pm to Hawgeye
Its not just Arkansas, its everywhere. Family law makes divorce into "cash and prizes" for the woman.
There's no stigma to being a divorced woman or a single mom, so women really have no incentive to stay. I'm cynical for various reasons, lets just say.
No fault divorce means she can be fricking every guy on your street, file for divorce, and she's still coming out on top.
There's no stigma to being a divorced woman or a single mom, so women really have no incentive to stay. I'm cynical for various reasons, lets just say.
No fault divorce means she can be fricking every guy on your street, file for divorce, and she's still coming out on top.
Posted on 3/6/14 at 6:30 pm to wmr
Part of the reason I will probably never get married, certainly have zero desire to at this stage in life or anytime soon.
Posted on 3/6/14 at 6:31 pm to wmr
What I was afraid of.
I stand to lose a bit and I'd also like to have my little girl. She hasn't had an actual job in 4 years.
I've thought of selling everything and then buying things back later....but that may be dumb too.
I stand to lose a bit and I'd also like to have my little girl. She hasn't had an actual job in 4 years.
I've thought of selling everything and then buying things back later....but that may be dumb too.
Posted on 3/6/14 at 6:33 pm to Hawgeye
Without knowing your situation fully, its hard to comment on.
I had a very fair divorce, ex thought the same.
edit: Talk to a lawyer before you ever mention the idea to your wife, lawyer can help guide you to the best path. Most people frick up by rushing to get shite filed, once its filed, hands become tied. All I can say is start the preparations with the guidance of a good family atty.
I had a very fair divorce, ex thought the same.
edit: Talk to a lawyer before you ever mention the idea to your wife, lawyer can help guide you to the best path. Most people frick up by rushing to get shite filed, once its filed, hands become tied. All I can say is start the preparations with the guidance of a good family atty.
This post was edited on 3/6/14 at 6:36 pm
Posted on 3/6/14 at 6:35 pm to UltimateHog
I'm thoroughly convinced that the average woman doesn't love men in the way most men think. I don't know that they know how.
Based on my experience:
1. Women love children (most of the time).
2. Women love "to be loved".
Marriage and monogamy for women is about extracting resources. I don't blame them, necessarily, I think it is biology. Women are geared to seek the alpha, and that is about their need to be provided for.
Men, likewise, have an animal instinct, and that is to avoid monogamy and bang everything that walks.
The problem is that no-fault divorce, birth control, and lack of stigma of being divorced provide very little incentive for women to make good wives. The stigma remains for men who don't "do their duty", i.e. get married in the first place, "grow up", provide, etc.
Women often get divorced out of "boredom" in a marriage.
I'm veering misogynistic a bit here, but I don't mean to. I just believe that there are biological forces at work, and marriage used to stifle the base instincts of both genders. No fault divorce and to a lesser extent, the provision of govt assistance, and the family law system that screws men over most of the time, makes it possible for women to extract resources they need for survival without providing anything to men in return. Its a helluva set up.
Based on my experience:
1. Women love children (most of the time).
2. Women love "to be loved".
Marriage and monogamy for women is about extracting resources. I don't blame them, necessarily, I think it is biology. Women are geared to seek the alpha, and that is about their need to be provided for.
Men, likewise, have an animal instinct, and that is to avoid monogamy and bang everything that walks.
The problem is that no-fault divorce, birth control, and lack of stigma of being divorced provide very little incentive for women to make good wives. The stigma remains for men who don't "do their duty", i.e. get married in the first place, "grow up", provide, etc.
Women often get divorced out of "boredom" in a marriage.
I'm veering misogynistic a bit here, but I don't mean to. I just believe that there are biological forces at work, and marriage used to stifle the base instincts of both genders. No fault divorce and to a lesser extent, the provision of govt assistance, and the family law system that screws men over most of the time, makes it possible for women to extract resources they need for survival without providing anything to men in return. Its a helluva set up.
This post was edited on 3/6/14 at 6:36 pm
Posted on 3/6/14 at 6:37 pm to Pigfeet
Mine will be ugly.
I know mine too well. She has done things and said things her parents called and apologized on her behalf. She actually told me she would blow my head off in front of her parents.
Let this be a lesson to young men here......That hot chick you want to bang right now that seems a bit bitchy, but you think it's cool because your bitch is bad....they turn our nicking futs sometimes.....just ask me
I know mine too well. She has done things and said things her parents called and apologized on her behalf. She actually told me she would blow my head off in front of her parents.
Let this be a lesson to young men here......That hot chick you want to bang right now that seems a bit bitchy, but you think it's cool because your bitch is bad....they turn our nicking futs sometimes.....just ask me
Posted on 3/6/14 at 6:38 pm to Pigfeet
quote:
edit: Talk to a lawyer before you ever mention the idea to your wife, lawyer can help guide you to the best path. Most people frick up by rushing to get shite filed, once its filed, hands become tied. All I can say is start the preparations with the guidance of a good family atty.
I've got 2 lawyers I consult with on a weekly basis
Posted on 3/6/14 at 6:38 pm to Pigfeet
Another piece of advice I'd give is:
Talk to several of the best divorce attorneys in town if you have the means to have a few meetings. Poison the pool a bit. Because most attorneys will not take the other side if they have had a meeting with you first.
Cull the herd for her in advance if you are in a smaller town, etc.
Talk to several of the best divorce attorneys in town if you have the means to have a few meetings. Poison the pool a bit. Because most attorneys will not take the other side if they have had a meeting with you first.
Cull the herd for her in advance if you are in a smaller town, etc.
Posted on 3/6/14 at 6:42 pm to Hawgeye
Those two attorneys should be able to help you, both right now and then help you find a good attorney. You'll want her to be one of the better divorce attorneys in NWA.
Posted on 3/6/14 at 6:42 pm to Hawgeye
sounds like she was raised poorly and you married her for other reasons than she was good wife/mom material.
which is like a lot of guys and women
which is like a lot of guys and women
Posted on 3/6/14 at 6:43 pm to wmr
quote:
The stigma remains for men who don't "do their duty", i.e. get married in the first place, "grow up", provide, etc
I think that stigma is pretty well gone or nowhere near what it used to be with this younger generation.
I know so many people my age that have no desire to get married or even have kids. Both men and women.
Hell I still talk to and bang an ex from years ago that is like that, doesn't want to get married or have kids. She has the perfect view on it, too.
Posted on 3/6/14 at 6:44 pm to Hawgeye
quote:
I've got 2 lawyers I consult with on a weekly basis
best move you can make, and have patience, make sure every single detail is in order before serving her.
Most judges here in LR are super fair and want both parents involved in custody. Highly doubtful that you will get custody unless she has drug or abuse issues. Now you can buy her out, maybe offer to pay for job training for her if you get custody. Its worth it, or it was for me.
Posted on 3/6/14 at 6:44 pm to Hawgeye
quote:
I've thought of selling everything and then buying things back later....but that may be dumb too.
It doesn't work like that anymore, in divorces, lawsuits, bankruptcy, etc. a judge can look at your financial transactions to see if you have attempted to hide assets.
If you have say a boat, classic car, etc. you can't do the buddy deal and sell it to him for $1 then "buy" it back when it is all done, you have to sale it at "fair market value" show proof (money hitting bank accounts, etc) a set amount of time before the legal procedure begins.
Also Arkansas does not have a limit on child support/alimony, it is based on your income at that time and can be protested for adjustment(to pay more) by the woman, but you will not have the option to protest to pay less in the future if your income decreases. (This is what caused Beck to get into trouble, his Child Support was based off the NBA checks he received for a little while, won't be surprised to see McFadden in similar trouble once his career ends.)
Posted on 3/6/14 at 6:45 pm to Hawgeye
I was gonna buy a round of beer,, but I think a half gallon of George Dickel and a half dozen ice cubes may be in order.
She really said she'd blow your head off,, is she always "spouty" like that,, or was that unusually cold and calm? H e, that's scary..
She really said she'd blow your head off,, is she always "spouty" like that,, or was that unusually cold and calm? H e, that's scary..
Posted on 3/6/14 at 6:48 pm to Ole Geauxt
She has gone pretty crazy over the last two years. Yea, she said it.
I'm not sure what causes that in people. Is it money? Is it greed? Is it an inflated self worth?
I'm not sure what causes that in people. Is it money? Is it greed? Is it an inflated self worth?
Posted on 3/6/14 at 6:48 pm to Hawgeye
I am sorry to hear about your current situation, Hawgeye.
I cannot offer any advice on marriage yet reading the psychology behind wmr's post backed by experience sounds very genuine. I can offer advice in other areas if you desire.
Have you thought about counseling for yourself, suggested it to her personally all in addition to couples counseling? There might be a reason for her actions otherwise you never would've married this woman for starters in my opinion..
I cannot offer any advice on marriage yet reading the psychology behind wmr's post backed by experience sounds very genuine. I can offer advice in other areas if you desire.
Have you thought about counseling for yourself, suggested it to her personally all in addition to couples counseling? There might be a reason for her actions otherwise you never would've married this woman for starters in my opinion..
This post was edited on 3/6/14 at 6:55 pm
Posted on 3/6/14 at 6:50 pm to SLC
quote:
You'll want her to be one of the better divorce attorneys in NWA.
If you really want to be a dick, get the phone book find all the divorce attorneys then go one by one and set up a consultation meeting with them in prospects of hiring them to handle this for you.
Once they consult with you, you tell them your side, they have to refuse her if she contacts them.
She will then have to find someone out of area to handle this which puts her having to travel to meet with them.
A buddy of mine had his ex-wife do this, he had to go four counties over to find a lawyer, the only one she didn't consult with local was the worst lawyer in the area (as far as his reputation goes) in these matters. Or he could just be a dumb arse and made up a story about this.
Posted on 3/6/14 at 6:51 pm to DaleDenton
quote:
Also Arkansas does not have a limit on child support/alimony, it is based on your income at that time and can be protested for adjustment(to pay more) by the woman, but you will not have the option to protest to pay less in the future if your income decreases
I believe you are incorrect as far as child support. Any person can have their payments decreased if the payee has a loss in income, not sure about the alimony.
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