4 Archetypal Clemson Fans

In honor of rivalry week, it's time to resurrect my old thread and show the board exactly what Gamecocks deal with every year when it comes to these hill people.

The 4 Archetypal Clemson Fans

The Joel Osteen Clemson fan: he literally believes supporting Clemson and Saint Dabo will result in either a materialistic reward or an eternal afterlife. And you better not change the radio station from K-Love when you're in his car.



The Marty Smith Clemson fan: he loves Crossfit, attends the local megachurch and 90% of the words coming from his mouth are inspirational messages from Coach Swinney. Sneaking suspicion he's queer. He thinks Florida-Georgia Line is the greatest band of this generation.



The Todd Chrisley Clemson fan: everyone else knows he's queer, but he's still in the closet, so he clings to the thing he thinks will make him look straight, even though his "man" cave is a shrine to Trevor Lawrence. His favorite band is Rascal Flatts.



The Facebook Karen Clemson fan: her entire life revolves around social media and posting Christian inspirational memes. She supports a law outlawing the criticism of Dabo Swinney and believes anyone who visits Columbia worships Satan. She plays that Martina McBride cancer song on repeat and dares anyone to change it.