re: Defense played terrible, but refs stole 14 points from us.

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And I understand why: because as soon as you take your eyes off the receiver, you risk losing coverage and of course the receiver is looking for the ball after he makes his final move and knows the play/where the ball is supposed to be unless he's improvising.
Still, if the defender can turn and pick up the ball, he becomes a legit receiver and is much less likely to get a pass interference call.
Also, if the pass is short the defender has a decent chance of an interception unless it is a come-back route.

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It is because the entire football world teaches defenders in a man trail scenario to watch the eyes and hands of the receiver and to get your head around only if you can, but first responsibly is to stay in phase and defend their hands. It is different when in zone, but we play a lot of man and combo man coverage, so we will see this forever and always.