re: Truth about AU

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My problem is growing up around the redneck Bammers who were hanging out in beer joints getting drunk, hating blacks at every opportunity, bragging about all the pussy they were getting and thinking your HS education (or GED) was superior to an Auburn education. Bragging about whipping someone's arse as long as you had fellow rednecks with you, but watching you run when cornered alone. Then watching you get older and seeing your fat arse in a white Caddy, next to your fat arse third wife in a leather mini and houndtooth cowboy hat and boots. While you brag to everyone how you fricked everything when you were young and are still superior to any Auburn Engineer. But your racism was very overt most of the time. Then you bring you poor sidekick reddog around to serve as your best friend.

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Wow. There is a LOT here to unpack.

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My problem is growing up around the redneck Bammers who were hanging out in beer joints getting drunk, hating blacks at every opportunity, bragging about all the pussy they were getting and thinking your HS education (or GED) was superior to an Auburn education. Bragging about whipping someone's arse as long as you had fellow rednecks with you, but watching you run when cornered alone. Then watching you get older and seeing your fat arse in a white Caddy, next to your fat arse third wife in a leather mini and houndtooth cowboy hat and boots. While you brag to everyone how you fricked everything when you were young and are still superior to any Auburn Engineer. But your racism was very overt most of the time.

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Ok, now that I've got a little more time, let's delve more deeply into this treasure trove.

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My problem is growing up around the redneck Bammers

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So you're from Alabama, but you hate most people who are from Alabama? Hmm. Ok. Let's move on.

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who were hanging out in beer joints getting drunk

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If you're complaining about this then I assume that means you did not, yourself, hang out in beer joints getting drunk, and in fact are judging those who did. Hanging out in beer joints getting drunk doesn't really seem that bad, honestly. In fact it sounds kind of fun. I'm definitely starting to get a picture in my mind of you as a younger person.

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hating blacks at every opportunity

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Ok. Unlike all those super-welcoming Auburn fans, huh? Auburn has always been known as a bastion of racial acceptance.

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bragging about all the pussy they were getting

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See, now it all comes together. Why would someone harbor a hatred of other guys who would hang out and get drunk together while bragging about all the girls they were getting? That's right, because they're a fricking pencilneck dweeb who has no friends and can't get any girls, and they're jealous as frick of the guys who can.

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and thinking your HS education (or GED) was superior to an Auburn education

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Yep. You're a goddamn pencilneck, all right. The only thing you have going for you is your degree, isn't it? Why won't they see? Why won't they care??? I GRADUATED FROM AUBURN GODDAMMIT!!!

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Bragging about whipping someone's arse as long as you had fellow rednecks with you, but watching you run when cornered alone.

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The first part of this definitely happened, and often, to young Irons. The second part is either made up, or he watched it happen while not participating in it, because no one but no one is running from the sexless dork trying to tell everyone about how his degree makes him better than them.

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Then watching you get older and seeing your fat arse in a white Caddy, next to your fat arse third wife in a leather mini and houndtooth cowboy hat and boots.

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This seems very specific. This is about a particular person, isn't it? Someone who causes deep-seated feelings of jealousy and inadequacy in you. It's possible the wife in this scenario, who you seem to regard with a mix of hostility and desire, is your very own ex, taken from you by this man who makes you feel so small, while all you can do is seethe and stare at your degree on the wall, wondering why it won't protect you.

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While you brag to everyone how you fricked everything when you were young and are still superior to any Auburn Engineer.

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"How could you leave me for him? Don't you know I'm an Engineer? I graduated from Auburn!!!"