An open letter to Greg Byrne

Dear Mr. Byrne,

It’s time to get to work. In case you haven’t noticed, our basketball program is in full reactor core meltdown. You need to do something and fast. We’re sorry we keep having these programs in crisis like the baseball program when you first arrived, but it’s not our fault. The fans didn’t want this shitshow any more than you did. It was your predecessor.

If nobody has told you, let me enlighten you. Bill Battle was given a parting gift by his dear friend, Coach Moore, in a recommendation for the AD job. It was only supposed to be on an interim basis but he stayed way too long. The guy was completely over his head and basically screwed up everything he touched. Baseball, basketball, club sports, you name it, he fricked it up.

So now we look to you to undo what he did and fix it. You’ve already started with baseball. It’s looking up so good job. But you’ve got a lot more work to do. Basketball is next. Men’s and women’s. Those two coaches are stealing their salary. Avery told Curry he could tank the season worse than she could and she replied “hold my beer.” You’ve gotta start firing people and hiring new ones. The fans are up in arms because of the complete ineptitude of both teams. So go to work. Do what you do. We, the fans, are behind you. Get ‘er done!

Oh, by the way, when you’re done cleaning house in Coleman, would you please stop by the softball complex and maybe have some harsh words with Murphy and tell him to get off his arse and do something? One natty does not give you lifetime tenure. Then there’s a little problem with gymnastics and Dana Duckworth that needs to be addressed as that program is in reverse too. You’ve got a lot to do, Mr. Byrne, better get to it.

Sincerely,
Bama Nation.