re: Which of these events will happen first (RE: LSU athletics)

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3) LSU finishes in the top 5 in the Director's Cup (their highest ever finish was 8th) 

Top 5 finishes by SEC school 

Florida: 19 (highest finish 2nd - 5 times) 
Georgia: 3 (highest finish 2nd) 
Texas A&M: 1 (highest finish 5th)

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I think I can join many here in saying I dont give two shites about the Director's Cup.

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Which of these events will happen first (RE: LSU athletics)
1.) Will Wade is fired
2.) Football team finally faces a real defense and loses

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My honest expectation- #2.

First off, it's pretty unlikely that we see LSU go through teams like they did last season. We tend to lose a game, even in years we win a title. This as compared to Auburn, which somehow has managed a couple undefeated seasons in the modern era, without winning the title.

Second point, I seriously doubt the NCAA comes down on Wade, Arizona, or anyone else. Not right now. People here might be talking about stuff, but the world is flipped upside down, sports are on indefinite hiatus, and most places just extended/increased the "stay at home and do nothing" orders for another month or more.
When things finally get cleared to play again, the NCAA and pro leagues will be trumpeting the "Yay we're back, come enjoy the games" message. Everything negative will be swept under the rug.

Hell, I'm kinda surprised that the NCAA (and ESPN) hasn't quietly reached out to Vitale and told him to shut the frick up.