History repeats itself

I would like to take a moment and give my appreciation for Elisabeth Ross and David Kessler. Because of their 5-step model us (BAMA fans) are able to accurately predict how close to rival fans are to regaining their sanity.

Step 1: Denial

Denial typically comes a week or two before a rival plays Alabama. They are in denial about their chances of winning. It doesn't matter how many points Vegas gives Alabama in the spread, an opposing fan puts on his/her homer glasses and chooses deception over reality. Typical excuses range from:
A. Alabama hasn't played anybody this year.
B. Alabama hasn't seen a(n) defense/offense like our team.
C. Alabama is in tDecline.

Step 2: Anger
This step typically comes during the game. Anger is usually expressed at the officiating crew, the SEC office, or the rival's own team. This step usually lasts for the whole game, and into the next day. However, for some fans this step ends after halftime and they prematurely enter into step three.

Step 3: Bargaining
After a good, well prophesied by Vegas, stomping has concluded a rival fan typically looks for how he/she can remove their coach and find another. Sometimes a fan can stay in this step for the whole season, others only until the team wins a game.

Step 4: Depression
Fourthly, if a team experiences the Alabama effect* they quickly fall into a terrible demise. By this time they have accepted their team's mediocrity and are quick to defend Alabama's good name while secretly hoping another team ruins their season. It's in this time of grief that a rival fan begins to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Step 5: Acceptance
In this step the rival fan has came close enough to the end of the tunnel to see Tennessee and Kentucky fans waving them home. The TN and UK fans show the rival fan around their new home in mediocrity. They gain hope from removing any unrealistic expectations from their heart. They no longer have to cry in February when their recruits all leave them and sign with Alabama. In this place, this sweet place, their hope is restored.

These are the fans that say things like:
A. Looking forward to basketball season!
B. Can't wait to see how Coach _____ does next year.

*The Alabama effect is when a team is beaten so badly by the Crimson Tide they quit operating correctly. See LSU 2011.