re: SUPER BOWL SUNDAY IM Thread

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@catgirl you hate most people, take comfort with an animal and consume some type of alcohol. There are similarities...

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Nope. I don't have any pets, rarely actually drink, and have a healthy relationship.

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Can you keep doing it if I post the stories

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Yeah sure

You do when you dig deep for an emotional response.

What the frick is going on in here at this hour?

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I have this problem that no-one takes seriously. I can't help it, it started when I was a kid. But I like going to parks and touching the ducks. But in November a park keeper caught me fiddling with one, and called the police. I had to lie and say I was rescuing it from drowning. They didn't believe me, I could tell, but they couldn't arrest me because it wasn't a crime. Anyway, some bastard told the local press, and I was in the paper. There was no picture but my name was in the same sentence as 'duck molesting.' I'm so embarrassed, I'm going to lose my job because I'm a vet. Once, someone bought a duck in that had been attacked by a dog. I asked everyone to leave the room so as not to shock it. Really I just wanted to touch it. It died not long after. Anyway, I saw a shrink and told him but he laughed. He asked me why ducks? I said because they had chubby cheeks and looked cute. Also they are slippery when wet. I like that. I like squirrels too, but I've never tried to fiddle with one. I might soon if I don't get help.

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1st of all you're in the wrong profession if you are attracted to any sort of animal lucky for you a vet doesn't usually come into contact with too many sick ducks. Also luckily not too many ducks have come into contact with you. Your cure for this is a simple fix though, no shrink needed, seriously. Go buy a live duck somewhere pet store or something and find a nice quiet place for you and Ms. Daisy and attempt to fondle it even whip it out and ducks aren't generally very friendly creatures and I guarantee the 1st time that duck bites you or your genaltalia you will be fully cured and likely will even want that duck roasted for some Duck L'Orange. I would not suggest this with the squirrel though you sick frick, it might bite something off that you wanna keep.

Y'all need to put those feels away.

This is the goddamn internet, for crying out loud

Cat is the exception

Lotta emo shite up in this here thread.

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God damn womenz

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Just put mine to bed

The house is..........quiet

Cat has no feels