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Fun with telemarketers
Posted on 4/26/19 at 7:01 pm
Posted on 4/26/19 at 7:01 pm
I got a call today from some middle eastern guy to tell me I he works for Microsoft and they have detected I have errors on Windows. I've gotten this several other times, but it has been a while. He caught me at a bad time.
I said, "You work for Microsoft? You must know Bill Gates. He and I went to different schools together. I used to bring my lunch and he rode a bicycle."
That fricked him up.
Then I said, "I tell you what, why don't you go frick yourself, you lying cocksucker?"
That set him off. He said, "frick your whole family, and I will frick your wife!"
I said, "Everyone fricks your whore Mom, asswipe."
He hung up. I enjoyed that.
Share your experiences. I bet they are good ones.
I said, "You work for Microsoft? You must know Bill Gates. He and I went to different schools together. I used to bring my lunch and he rode a bicycle."
That fricked him up.
Then I said, "I tell you what, why don't you go frick yourself, you lying cocksucker?"
That set him off. He said, "frick your whole family, and I will frick your wife!"
I said, "Everyone fricks your whore Mom, asswipe."
He hung up. I enjoyed that.
Share your experiences. I bet they are good ones.
5
Posted on 4/26/19 at 7:18 pm to Central Pork
You DO realize that he knows who you are and how to reach you,.....and you don't have a clue about him right? 
Posted on 4/26/19 at 7:28 pm to coachcrisp
For some reason, I'm not worried.
Posted on 4/26/19 at 9:01 pm to Central Pork
That guy'll probably have you changing your phone # by the end of the month!
Posted on 4/26/19 at 9:31 pm to coachcrisp
30 calls later
"Hello this is Pajeet with Bombay control systems I am calling on behalf of Rajh of Microsoft Corp to tell you to sincerely f*ck yourself and that I and many others already have done the same to your mother... Bi*ch" *click*
"Hello this is Pajeet with Bombay control systems I am calling on behalf of Rajh of Microsoft Corp to tell you to sincerely f*ck yourself and that I and many others already have done the same to your mother... Bi*ch" *click*
Posted on 4/27/19 at 5:33 am to coachcrisp
quote:. By the time he hung up the automated dialing system probably had him queued up for another call... these guys are making 400-500 calls a day, they have heard it all.
You DO realize that he knows who you are and how to reach you,.....and you don't have a clue about him right?
Posted on 4/27/19 at 9:11 am to NYCAuburn
My wife had one to call her back and insult her after she'd hung up on him. It's that one in a thousand people that you should worry about.
Posted on 4/27/19 at 3:28 pm to coachcrisp
Tough crowd in here. I wanted some good stories.
I doubt giving this guy shite will increase the number of calls I get. It already is all day. I usually just hang up.
But, thanks for your concern.
I doubt giving this guy shite will increase the number of calls I get. It already is all day. I usually just hang up.
But, thanks for your concern.
Posted on 4/27/19 at 3:49 pm to Central Pork
Only sort of a telemarketer... years ago my folks, without me knowing, got caught up in the time share racket.
They lost more then two hundred grand on it and it destroyed their retirement.
So, shortly after my father passed away, one of them called my mother to try and sell her another time share and I am happy to say I cussed him up and down. In fact, by using a steadfast policy of refusing to pay any more money and verbally insulting every time share agent who called, I managed to get my mom out of her remaining time shares.
I will grant you it was somewhat awkward when my aunt was here visiting and I told one of the time share people to "suck my dick motherfricker, I'll pull out your eyeballs and piss on your brain." But these things happen.
They lost more then two hundred grand on it and it destroyed their retirement.
So, shortly after my father passed away, one of them called my mother to try and sell her another time share and I am happy to say I cussed him up and down. In fact, by using a steadfast policy of refusing to pay any more money and verbally insulting every time share agent who called, I managed to get my mom out of her remaining time shares.
I will grant you it was somewhat awkward when my aunt was here visiting and I told one of the time share people to "suck my dick motherfricker, I'll pull out your eyeballs and piss on your brain." But these things happen.
Posted on 4/27/19 at 3:55 pm to Central Pork
quote:
Tough crowd in here. I wanted some good stories.
Your story was good. I just don't have any about telemarketers, whenever they call I just hang up
Posted on 4/27/19 at 7:50 pm to Central Pork
quote:I, since then, instructed my wife to answer the phone and say "hello", and if she hears no reply after 1-2 seconds, hang the damn phone up immediately...that's about how long it takes their equipment to identify an answered line.
Tough crowd in here. I wanted some good stories.
I doubt giving this guy shite will increase the number of calls I get. It already is all day. I usually just hang up.
But, thanks for your concern.
Posted on 4/28/19 at 10:00 am to Central Pork
That’s not a telemarketer that’s a guy trying to scam you
He calls old people and gets them to log into their computer.
Then steals all their shite
He calls old people and gets them to log into their computer.
Then steals all their shite
This post was edited on 4/28/19 at 10:02 am
Posted on 4/28/19 at 10:01 am to Central Pork
quote:
Tough crowd in here. I wanted some good stories.
It’s the era of caller ID , we just don’t answer if we don’t know who it is.
And if they really wanted us, they leave a message or text us
Posted on 4/28/19 at 11:59 am to Central Pork
I keep an airhorn by the phone. Usually, I very politely ask if they can wait one second. Then blast their arse. That usually results in a dial tone.
Posted on 4/28/19 at 3:28 pm to Pavoloco83
Oldie but greatest prank of all times responding to a telemarketer.
LINK
LINK
Posted on 4/28/19 at 4:11 pm to Pavoloco83
quote:
keep an airhorn by the phone. Usually, I very politely ask if they can wait one second. Then blast their arse. That usually results in a dial tone.
Posted on 4/28/19 at 5:18 pm to Central Pork
This isn’t telemarketing but spam, which is just as annoying. It’s one of my favorite Ted Talks:
Replying to Spam
Replying to Spam
Posted on 4/29/19 at 8:18 am to OlGrandad
I HAVE heard it, but laugh every time I hear it again! 
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