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Calorie Counting For Dummies

Posted on 2/21/19 at 12:54 pm
Posted by Harry Rex Vonner
American dissident
Member since Nov 2013
35788 posts
Posted on 2/21/19 at 12:54 pm
Harry Rex has done all the heavy lifting here for you folks. Just sit back and read what to NEVER eat, and also read up on the shortcuts Harry Rex says TO EAT. This is not by any means an all inclusive list: shortcuts only.

DO NOT EVER eat:

- Frozen Pizza - I remember in my youth, those things were a late night snack. Eat the whole damn thing obviously. But do that now, in mid life, and your late night snack just packed on more calories in one sitting than you're supposed to have in an entire day.

- a bagel - 245 calories in one friggin bagle. Food for dumbasses.

Don't eat much:

Grocery store rotisserie chicken. Packs on more weight than you would think. It's not a weight loss panacea.

Olive oil is great for your heart. But tiny amounts have too much calories. So go soft on it. Better to cook with a little pure butter than the same amount of olive oil (I think)

DO eat:

- Eat craploads of mushrooms. Almost no calories. They're not replacements for veggies, but put them into mixed dishes that include veggies to add weight and fill you up.

- Pickles: Eat frick tons of them. Get the low sodium ones.

- Progresso Light Chicken Noodle Soup - edit .....screeching halt....! No, do not eat this. Enough sodium to kill a horse.

- Sauerkraut - eat that until the cows come home. Minimal calories and great probiotic. A little chopped smoked sausage mixed in, just a little, and sautee it with some sliced lunch meat turkey and a couple shots of A1 sauce. Don't believe me? Try it. Dumbasses. You can also mix a small portion of hash brown potato fry into the sautee procedure.

- Eggs - as a rule, eat more eggs, eat less red meat

- one biscuit is 49 calories or something

- oatmeal, brown sugar and one butter pat

- Louisiana Hot Sauce in yellowfin tuna. You'll thank me later.

- green beans - eat fricktons of them. Margaret Holmes or Glory brand have awesome large cut Italian green beans. Also eat collard and mustard greens from those same companies.

- zuchinni noodles and Parmesean cheese. Eat the frick out of it.



This post was edited on 2/21/19 at 7:26 pm
Posted by thatguy45
Your alter's mom's basement
Member since Sep 2017
18878 posts
Posted on 2/21/19 at 12:59 pm to
quote:

Frozen Pizza

I've had way too many of them and other frozen meals.

quote:


- Eat craploads of mushrooms.

Druggy

quote:

Progresso Light Chicken Noodle Soup

Progresso light is trash. I'll stick to regular even if it gives me a heart attack when I'm 70

quote:

Sauerkraut

Fascist
Posted by Harry Rex Vonner
American dissident
Member since Nov 2013
35788 posts
Posted on 2/21/19 at 1:02 pm to
quote:

thatguy45



- Dumbass

- Dumbass

- Dumbass

- Dumbass
Posted by Harry Rex Vonner
American dissident
Member since Nov 2013
35788 posts
Posted on 2/21/19 at 1:04 pm to
quote:

frozen meals.


reminds me - eat way less rice - eat the Green Giant cauliflower "rice" instead. It's awesome. Sautee with green peppers, onions and throw in some tomato. Go easy on the olive oil, and mix with some baked or grilled salmon. Paprika and other spices.
This post was edited on 2/21/19 at 1:05 pm
Posted by mckibaj
Member since Nov 2010
7728 posts
Posted on 2/21/19 at 1:05 pm to
quote:

one biscuit is 49 calories or something

That's kinda be one tiny biscuit.
Posted by thatguy45
Your alter's mom's basement
Member since Sep 2017
18878 posts
Posted on 2/21/19 at 1:06 pm to
quote:

Dumbass

Accurate
Posted by mckibaj
Member since Nov 2010
7728 posts
Posted on 2/21/19 at 1:08 pm to
I would also add stay away from liquid calories. Sweet tea and Soft drinks unless diet. Red Diamond unsweetened Almond milk is a very good replacement for milk.
Posted by Dudley Humptyfrats
'Murica
Member since Oct 2010
2134 posts
Posted on 2/21/19 at 1:09 pm to
Stick to the perimeter of the grocery store when shopping.
Posted by Harry Rex Vonner
American dissident
Member since Nov 2013
35788 posts
Posted on 2/21/19 at 1:12 pm to
just dont' eat bagels - eat either biscuits or English muffins

Posted by Harry Rex Vonner
American dissident
Member since Nov 2013
35788 posts
Posted on 2/21/19 at 1:12 pm to
Posted by Harry Rex Vonner
American dissident
Member since Nov 2013
35788 posts
Posted on 2/21/19 at 1:14 pm to
quote:

Sweet tea and Soft drinks unless diet.


hell yes - dude don't even drink "diet" soda - that shite is fricking poison

drink water with lemon juice
drink Miller Lite
almond milk, yes
sweet tea only on Sunday at grandmas house
Posted by BowlJackson
Birmingham, AL
Member since Sep 2013
52881 posts
Posted on 2/21/19 at 1:19 pm to
What age do I start worrying about this? I'm 27 and eat less healthy now than I did at 19 and have never weighed more than 180
Posted by Harry Rex Vonner
American dissident
Member since Nov 2013
35788 posts
Posted on 2/21/19 at 1:21 pm to
Those tiny little Atkins candies that are supposed to tide you over and not make you gain weight?



There's 89% less calories in one dark chocolate covered almond. So eat 6 of those almonds at only 108 calories total, instead of some tiny little one bite of an Atkins "Reeces" cup at 160 calories.
Posted by TnMountaineer
Minglewood
Member since Aug 2018
3490 posts
Posted on 2/21/19 at 1:27 pm to
Nothing wrong with brown rice. I eat brown rice with beans/Texas Pete everyday.

I am an annoying vegan though.

Green beans are delish..spinach, too. I do about five spinach or power green salads a day with mandarin oranges, strawberries, and grapes.

Congrats on your success!
Posted by piggilicious
Member since Jan 2011
37295 posts
Posted on 2/21/19 at 1:28 pm to
quote:

Progresso light is trash. I'll stick to regular even if it gives me a heart attack when I'm 70


Either of them have a shite ton of sodium in them, not good.

Posted by Harry Rex Vonner
American dissident
Member since Nov 2013
35788 posts
Posted on 2/21/19 at 1:29 pm to
quote:

What age do I start worrying about this? I'm 27 and eat less healthy now than I did at 19 and have never weighed more than 180


Love this question for this reason: I ate anything I wanted up through age 27, and was between 170-180

Then age 28, bam, where did that stomach come from all the sudden? Triple Wendy's burgers finally got me. It waited until age 28. True story.
Posted by Harry Rex Vonner
American dissident
Member since Nov 2013
35788 posts
Posted on 2/21/19 at 1:31 pm to
dang really? probably my green beans too right?

I try to compensate by almost never salting anything. Use spices instead.
Posted by The Nino
Member since Jan 2010
21519 posts
Posted on 2/21/19 at 1:33 pm to
Late 20s is when my metabolism started to slow down and I started paying attention to what and how much I ate.
Posted by BowlJackson
Birmingham, AL
Member since Sep 2013
52881 posts
Posted on 2/21/19 at 2:02 pm to
How much I eat has never really been a problem. I've never been one for huge portions. A lot of other guys will eat in one sitting what could be two meals for me, and I generally only eat two meals a day anyway.

I'm beginning to notice how much better I feel when I eat healthy and how crappy junk food makes me feel when I eat it too often, and for that I would like to start eating more healthy. But I guess I haven't really gotten to the point yet where it affects my weight much yet. I still lose weight with fairly minimal effort through physical activity, but not much diet-wise really affects my weight other than the time I stopped drinking carbonated drinks and lost 10 pounds
Posted by piggilicious
Member since Jan 2011
37295 posts
Posted on 2/21/19 at 2:23 pm to
quote:

dang really? probably my green beans too right?


Probably not unless you get the already seasoned ones.
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