re: Potential FIL

I think this is the best way. It's not the 40s or 50s anymore, even for the most ardent racist. I'm not saying he might not say some racist shite, he could even take a swing. But he isn't going to have a shotgun on his lap. But I wouldn't expect more than him being passive aggressive.

It'll be uncomfortable, no doubt. But with your fiance and oil on your side, that will probably be the worst. He wants to make you out to be the a-hole, not him. Just don't let him bait you. He says something, just try to be the bigger man. Good manners will also make it harder for him to bait you, without coming off like a dick.

Find out what he likes to drink, if he does. Bring something to enjoy at dinner. If they don't drink, bring a dessert. If he's very racist, the nicer you are, the more it'll mess with his head. You probably won't get a hug or approval that night. But it'll make him think, and possibly make future encounters easier.