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re: What constitutes cheating?
Posted on 5/18/16 at 7:37 am to BluegrassBelle
Posted on 5/18/16 at 7:37 am to BluegrassBelle
quote:
I also believe there is such a thing as emotional cheating. You may not be physically intimate with a person but if you're spending time with them and investing emotionally in that "relationship" versus the relationship with your significant other than that's a big problem
Depends on the level of emotional connection. Wife and I both work and obviously spend a lot of time at work. I have a pretty close relationship with a female co-worker. There's no physical attraction for me, but I definitely have an emotional connection to her. Wife knows her and knows about our friendship and it doesn't bother her. Wife has had a few guy friends at work she was close to, even calling one her "work husband." I knew him and it didn't bother me. We both have trust in each other we wouldn't let it progress to anything physical.
You just gotta be open and honest. I've even told my wife I wasn't comfortable hanging out with a couple we know because I found the girl very attractive. She was pretty mad at first, but got over it and respected me more for telling her.
2
Posted on 5/18/16 at 7:45 am to The Spleen
quote:
Depends on the level of emotional connection. Wife and I both work and obviously spend a lot of time at work. I have a pretty close relationship with a female co-worker. There's no physical attraction for me, but I definitely have an emotional connection to her. Wife knows her and knows about our friendship and it doesn't bother her. Wife has had a few guy friends at work she was close to, even calling one her "work husband." I knew him and it didn't bother me. We both have trust in each other we wouldn't let it progress to anything physical. You just gotta be open and honest. I've even told my wife I wasn't comfortable hanging out with a couple we know because I found the girl very attractive. She was pretty mad at first, but got over it and respected me more for telling her.
Are you replacing an emotional connection with your SO with that emotional connection with your coworker/friend? If not then usually there's not an issue. If you are, that's where it crosses the line IMO. When you want to spend more time with the friend/coworker vs. the SO and are investing in that relationship instead of the relationship with your SO is where it becomes emotional cheating.
I never said it wasn't possible to be friends with someone of the opposite sex/the sex you're attracted to. I think most mature adults are capable of being friends with coworkers/acquaintances that are of the sex they're attracted to. But you also have to be both be able to recognize where the line gets crossed. Some people can be totally oblivious to someone of the opposite sex trying to be more than just a friend and that can cause issues.
This post was edited on 5/18/16 at 7:47 am
Posted on 5/18/16 at 9:24 am to The Spleen
quote:
Depends on the level of emotional connection. Wife and I both work and obviously spend a lot of time at work. I have a pretty close relationship with a female co-worker. There's no physical attraction for me, but I definitely have an emotional connection to her. Wife knows her and knows about our friendship and it doesn't bother her. Wife has had a few guy friends at work she was close to, even calling one her "work husband." I knew him and it didn't bother me. We both have trust in each other we wouldn't let it progress to anything physical.
You just gotta be open and honest. I've even told my wife I wasn't comfortable hanging out with a couple we know because I found the girl very attractive. She was pretty mad at first, but got over it and respected me more for telling her.
Best post itt
Trust is key--I've been in a relationship with my wife on some level for 8 years. In each and every one of those years (including this one), we've endured a long period of physical separation (usually military-related).
If we didn't trust each other, we wouldn't have made it. She dealt with depression issues a lot and needed to be around people she could lean on. If I wasn't secure enough in my trust in her, I couldn't have allowed her to seek camaraderie with friends and coworkers of the opposite sex while I wasn't there. And vice versa.
Trust and unfettered communication go a LONG way toward building a solid relationship--one that isn't plagued by suspicions of cheating.
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