re: OT: Anyone ever been through a divorce here?

I'm late to this thread but wanted to comment.

I second the opinions here that Hawgeye should get some counseling. It sounds as if his wife MIGHT have a personality disorder, and even if she doesn't, the damage from the divorce to all involved is far more than most comprehend.

The little girl is a special issue. Because children do better with intact families. Of course, if there is abuse they don't, but the mere fact that mom is lazy, or a tool, or bitter, or a bitch, or whatever doesn't change the fact that she is MOM. I can't imagine mom being allowed to take the child out of state, but mom--even crazy ones--don't go away. They just continue to spread their venom an use the children as weapons.

Crazy Dads do the same btw. And even non-crazy spouses will use the poor kid as a weapon without realizing it.

Some professional help rebuilding your life and learning his to peacefully co-parent will be a godsend to you and your child.

I'd also suggest premarital and post-vows couple counseling for you if you ever remarry(statistics say you will.)

The second marriage divorce rate is horrific. And if you think your ex won't attempt to poison your next relationships, then you are naive.

I've been through this myself, had my beloved 3 sons to varying degrees turned against me by my ex, had them attack my new wife, lost every friend who told me I should divorce her before I actually did(oh the irony,) and was down to less than 100k total worth at age 39. As a very busy Ob, I'd made quite a bit of money, but what she hadn't spent, I had to give her in the divorce.

But with help from God, and a great counsellor, I have a great second marriage, loving kids who are finally healthy and able to see the truth about their mom, a good stepdaughter who has been mine for nearly a decade, and a beautiful daughter that surprised us all 5 yrs ago

My second wife is loving, giving, and a financial hawk who has helped me rebuild my estate, educate my boys , and we now have a net-worth that is way into 7 figures.

When we need to tighten the belts a bit or skip an expensive vacation in order to invest in our future, that's what we do. This is far far different from my first wife.

It takes time and hard work. The kids suffer without a doubt, but in time everyone can heal. But it'll take years...and some help