re: I'm in the market for a new phone and have no clue what to get.

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if you don't know shite about phones, guessing you want something to "just work". iPhone cannot be beat in ease of use and how intuitive it is.

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Precisely. I heard someone say it this way once: with Android, you could spend all day long tweaking and modding your phone and getting it exactly the way you want it to look. With an iPhone, you can spend all day actually using it.

Both platforms are really good for their own reasons, it just depends on what you want to do with it. I'll try to lay it out as simply as possible.

TL;DR version: average user, go iPhone. Computer geek who likes to tweak stuff, Android.

Android: Options, options, options. First in choice of phone (HTC, Samsung, Motorola, LG, etc), and then with what you do with it. It's much more open to customization, you can make yours look and function completely different than anyone else's. It is also, admittedly, more advanced in terms of functionality than the iPhone. Widgets on the home screen, a more useful lockscreen, and several other benefits that you just don't get on iOS.

iPhone: Simplicity and ease of use. No, it may not be as powerful as Android, but I dare you to find someone who wasn't satisfied with their iPhone. It has practically no learning curve at all (my twin cousins could use one when they were 3), and it does enough to satisfy the average user.

Most importantly, go to your carrier store and pick them all up and play around with them for a while. Don't be in a hurry to run in, grab a phone and leave. Good luck!