There will be blood....

Yes it's that time again. My favorite week of the season. It's UT time.

You see people I hate Tennesse. It's not just your average ordinary hate, this hate permeates through every cell on my body. If one of my cells could speak, that cell would get 5 years in prison for assault and battery.

I feel violent during this week. I like to hit inanimate objects as I walk by them and pretend it's a Tennesse fan. I get Tourrete's during UT week. I'm prone to sudden outbursts of profanity both in the work place and in random places like the grocery store.

People ask me, "tuck, what's wrong? You seem on edge..." I look at them with fury in my eyes and scream, "DON'T YOU KNOW WHO WE PLAY THIS WEEK!!! IT'S F&@$ING TENNESSEE!!! I F%@#ING HATE THOSE F&$%ING F#&$ERS!!! F*&$ TENNESSEE!!! F@#& THEM TO HELL!!1"

When I watch this game, I yell a little bit louder, I break a few more pieces of furniture, and I beat my wife and dog a little more than usual. It's uncontrollable. I am powerless. It is useless to fight it.

This rivalry is everything to me. The alpha and the omega. I want the score to be Bama INFINITY/Tennessee NEGATIVE INFINITY. I want to see their woman and children cry. When Conan the Barbarian said, "Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women," he was referring to Tennessee.

Former Tide player Bully Van der Graaf understood this game. In the 1913, the UT/Bama game went into the night. Cars had to circle the playing field and use their headlights to light up the field so play could continue. There would be no break from the battle. Well in that game Bully got his ear caught in one of his teams pant legs and it cut it pretty badly. Bully was so mad that he tried to pull his own ear off to try and get back in the game. His teammates had to restrain him from his madness. You see when it comes to the Alabama/Tennessee game, there will be hate, there will be fighting, there will be madness, and there will be blood...