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A Christmas SEC Poem
Posted on 12/19/25 at 1:53 pm
Posted on 12/19/25 at 1:53 pm
Twas almost time for the Playoffs, and all through the Rant
Fans and alters were posting, though clever takes were scant
Each made a Christmas list and checked it twice
Then sent it to Chicken, who wrote a letter concise
LSU asked for an excuse to fire for cause
Then said “Frick it, give us the money for Lane Kiff and his baws”
Auburn requested an offense that was so good it was regal
And a new name for their mascot: Comrade Eagle
Kentucky fans were feeling kind of bluey
But said that firing Stoops would give their spirits a buoy
The Aggies begged for BAS to die
And requested a large Ozempic supply
Vanderbilt fans were as happy as could be
But secretly hoped that Pavia could earn a second degree
Fans and alters were posting, though clever takes were scant
Each made a Christmas list and checked it twice
Then sent it to Chicken, who wrote a letter concise
LSU asked for an excuse to fire for cause
Then said “Frick it, give us the money for Lane Kiff and his baws”
Auburn requested an offense that was so good it was regal
And a new name for their mascot: Comrade Eagle
Kentucky fans were feeling kind of bluey
But said that firing Stoops would give their spirits a buoy
The Aggies begged for BAS to die
And requested a large Ozempic supply
Vanderbilt fans were as happy as could be
But secretly hoped that Pavia could earn a second degree
3
Posted on 12/19/25 at 1:53 pm to FootballFrenzy
Alabama wanted the Saban glory days to return
And for their running game to take an upturn
Ole Miss asked for Golding to go on his villain arc
And for mascot clarity: Rebel, Bear, or Shark?
South Carolina demanded justice be served to the cop
And for all the heartbreaking losses to stop
Texas humbly requested that Arch live up to the hype
And for their O-Line not to be a cause to gripe
Arkansas fans were not at all greedy
And said they’d be happy with defense that wasn’t so needy
Georgia fans were mostly content and at peace
Although they asked that the legal dramas would cease
Oklahoma was pleased with their defense intense
But asked for an offense that didn’t incense
Florida fans hoped for their quarterback to display
A knack for keeping the turnovers away
Mississippi State begged for much better playcalling
And a defense that wasn’t quite so appalling
Missouri fans kept their disdain for Drink concealed
And asked that backups would stop seeing the field
Tennessee fans had a rather vague request
And simply asked for help on their natty quest
Chicken mailed off the letter, then sent each poster to bed
While making them promise not to frick up his thread
And for their running game to take an upturn
Ole Miss asked for Golding to go on his villain arc
And for mascot clarity: Rebel, Bear, or Shark?
South Carolina demanded justice be served to the cop
And for all the heartbreaking losses to stop
Texas humbly requested that Arch live up to the hype
And for their O-Line not to be a cause to gripe
Arkansas fans were not at all greedy
And said they’d be happy with defense that wasn’t so needy
Georgia fans were mostly content and at peace
Although they asked that the legal dramas would cease
Oklahoma was pleased with their defense intense
But asked for an offense that didn’t incense
Florida fans hoped for their quarterback to display
A knack for keeping the turnovers away
Mississippi State begged for much better playcalling
And a defense that wasn’t quite so appalling
Missouri fans kept their disdain for Drink concealed
And asked that backups would stop seeing the field
Tennessee fans had a rather vague request
And simply asked for help on their natty quest
Chicken mailed off the letter, then sent each poster to bed
While making them promise not to frick up his thread
Posted on 12/19/25 at 1:58 pm to FootballFrenzy
quote:
Comrade Eagle
I might steal this.
Posted on 12/19/25 at 2:02 pm to paperwasp
The chance to comment on a Russian leading a team that has an eagle for a mascot was too good to pass up lol.
This post was edited on 12/19/25 at 2:05 pm
Posted on 12/19/25 at 4:11 pm to FootballFrenzy
Bump because why not.
Posted on 12/19/25 at 5:02 pm to FootballFrenzy
quote:
Chicken mailed off the letter, then sent each poster to bed
While making them promise not to frick up his thread
With you until this ...
He wants threads to be shitty. I am convinced of it
Posted on 12/19/25 at 5:03 pm to FootballFrenzy
quote:
Bump because why not.
No one else has anything going, why not?
Posted on 12/19/25 at 5:04 pm to theballguy
quote:
With you until this ... He wants threads to be shitty. I am convinced of it
Notice I said his thread (singular). ;)
Posted on 12/19/25 at 5:26 pm to FootballFrenzy
Very nice
Posted on 12/19/25 at 5:31 pm to FootballFrenzy
Not bad. 
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