Duane Dibbley

John Carpenter and Kurt Russell

When I was in the Air Force, I was E&I for Electronic Security Command, and all the compounds we worked at were surrounded by fences topped with razor wire and required a badge to get in. They also had signs every 10 feet, it seems, telling us that the guards had a live round in the chamber and were authorized to use deadly force.

Well, we were TDY to England installing equipment when we bombed Libya, and because we were TDY, no one told us that we weren't allowed to go outside, and as luck would have it, it was my day to take out the trash.

So I went outside to throw away the trash, and I heard a voice scream at me to drop the boxes, and when I turned around, there was a guard that I knew had a live round in the chamber, pointing a gun directly at me. He then told me to drop my badge turn around and walk forward so I did and when I turned around again there were now six guards with live rounds in the in the chamber pointing their guns at me and if you were in the military and you knew any military police then you understand why having six of them pointing guns with live rounds at you will make you pucker up.

Classic Large-Batch Melon Ball (Serves ~8-10)

2 cups Vodka
1 cup Midori Melon Liqueur
3-4 cups Fresh Orange Juice (and/or Pineapple Juice)
1 cup Fresh Lime Juice (optional, for tartness)
Garnish: Honeydew and cantaloupe balls, skewered

Korean red pepper flakes and malt vinegar.

Steely Dan

Thin Lizzy

Mister Mister