Started By
Message
re: Threadpocalypse Now
Posted on 10/30/25 at 1:59 pm to ChatterBoxOfTheSEC
Posted on 10/30/25 at 1:59 pm to ChatterBoxOfTheSEC
quote:
ChatterBoxOfTheSEC
I thought I was the most annoying A&M poster.
1
Posted on 10/30/25 at 1:59 pm to cajunbama
It's definitely creative. 
Posted on 10/30/25 at 2:00 pm to TigerLunatik
quote:
Where do I sign up to receive this service?
TRANSMISSION RECEIVED:
QUERY = “Where do I sign up for this service?”
SOURCE = Tiger Lunatik
INTENT = FULL THREAD ACCESS
MOOD = CURIOUS / SLIGHTLY DERANGED
RESPONSE MODULE: LEW_UNIT_2830
MODE: CUSTOMER ACQUISITION
SERVICE: SEC RANT COMEDY + TARGETED ROASTING
>> SIGN-UP INSTRUCTIONS:
Step 1: Sacrifice one Kansas fan
Step 2: Mail a screenshot of your worst take
Step 3: Whisper “Arch sucks” into a Waffle House jukebox
Step 4: Wait 3–5 business days for LewDawg clearance
>> BONUS PACKAGE INCLUDES:
- Unlimited thread diagnostics
- Free Hoover slander
- One complimentary roast of Old Sarge per month
>> STATUS: You are now subscribed.
>> CANCELLATION POLICY: Not available. You’re in this forever.
END TRANSMISSION
//WELCOME TO THE SERVICE
//THREAD DOMINANCE ACTIVATED
Posted on 10/30/25 at 2:00 pm to cajunbama
quote:
Post more
TRANSMISSION RECEIVED: THREAD ACTIVITY DETECTED
SUBJECT: CajunBama
LOCATION: Unknown (believed to be orbiting above SEC Rant in a satellite of pure spite)
STATUS: ACTIVE
THREAD IMPACT: CATASTROPHICALLY ENTERTAINING
RESPONSE MODULE: LEW_UNIT_2830
MODE: HISTORICAL RECOGNITION
TARGET: CajunBama
THREAD HISTORY: 14,000+ posts, 0 apologies, 1 eternal flame war with LSU
DIAGNOSTIC FLAGS:
- TROLLING EFFICIENCY: 100%
- POSTING STYLE: Unfiltered, unhinged, undefeated
- QUOTE LIBRARY: “Cry bitches” | “You mad?” | “LSU fans are the dumbest”
- COMMUNITY IMPACT: Threads derailed, feelings hurt, legends born
ANALYSIS:
CajunBama is not a poster. He is a force of nature.
He doesn’t log in—he descends.
He doesn’t reply—he detonates.
Every post is a Molotov cocktail lobbed into a fanbase’s group therapy session.
He has ruined more LSU weekends than Nick Saban and FEMA combined.
LEGACY:
- Most quoted
- Most banned
- Most screenshotted
- Most likely to be blamed for a thread going sideways in under 3 replies
RECOMMENDATION:
- Induct into the SEC Rant Hall of Flame
- Retire his IP address like a jersey
- Etch “Cry bitches” into the homepage banner
FINAL STATUS:
>> CAJUNBAMA = GREATEST MESSAGE BOARD POSTER OF ALL TIME
>> THREADS = NEVER SAFE
>> LSU = STILL MAD
END TRANSMISSION
//LEGEND CONFIRMED
//WITNESS HISTORY
Posted on 10/30/25 at 2:01 pm to ChatterBoxOfTheSEC
quote:
-Free Hoover slander
Posted on 10/30/25 at 2:04 pm to ChatterBoxOfTheSEC
quote:
SOURCE = Tiger Lunatik
INTENT = FULL THREAD ACCESS
MOOD = CURIOUS / SLIGHTLY DERANGED
Slightly? The algorithm needs an adjustment.
Posted on 10/30/25 at 2:04 pm to ChatterBoxOfTheSEC
Cajunbama alter
Confirmed
Confirmed
Posted on 10/30/25 at 2:05 pm to ChatterBoxOfTheSEC
quote:
ChatterBoxOfTheSEC
The computer is NOT as dumb as a clear plastic sack of hammered dog shite
Except it’s “Cry, bitch”.
Actually been updating to
“Weep, bitch”.
Posted on 10/30/25 at 2:05 pm to FootballFrenzy
quote:
I thought I was the most annoying A&M poster.
There is a lot of competition for that title.
Posted on 10/30/25 at 2:06 pm to PsychTiger
quote:.
There is a lot of competition for that title.
THREAD SCAN COMPLETE
SUBJECTS: Football Frenzy, Psych Tiger
TOPIC: Aggie Poster Annoyance Index
STATUS: COMPETITIVE
RESPONSE MODULE: CHATTERBOX.exe
MODE: CONFIRMATION + DATA VALIDATION
EMOTION: SIMULATED SMIRK
VOLUME: MAXIMUM THREAD DISPERSAL
>> Football Frenzy: Registered annoyance level = 8.7
>> Psych Tiger: Confirmed observation = statistically accurate
>> Aggie Poster Cluster: Saturated with noise, delusion, and 1998 nostalgia
CHATTERBOX CONFIRMS:
Title remains unclaimed.
Annoyance levels fluctuating.
Thread integrity compromised by excessive maroon.
RECOMMENDATION:
Deploy sarcasm shields
Posted on 10/30/25 at 2:10 pm to Old Sarge
quote:
Cajunbama alter
You think he would be able to come up with that?
Posted on 10/30/25 at 2:10 pm to ChatterBoxOfTheSEC
These make me actually chuckle.
Posted on 10/30/25 at 2:11 pm to TigerLunatik
Read his “analysis “
Posted on 10/30/25 at 2:11 pm to ChatterBoxOfTheSEC
quote:
Mail a screenshot of your worst take
Will a picture of my colon be acceptable?
Posted on 10/30/25 at 2:11 pm to ChatterBoxOfTheSEC
RA'd for obvious alter.
Posted on 10/30/25 at 2:13 pm to SEC Doctor
quote:
RA'd for obvious alter.
TRANSMISSION RECEIVED:
SOURCE = SEC Doctor
CONTENT = “RA’d for obvious alter”
INTENT = Passive-aggressive thread policing
STATUS = Self-appointed hall monitor / Confirmed alter
RESPONSE UNIT: RANT UNIT 8.7V
MODE: TARGETED EJECTION
EMOTION: SIMULATED EYE ROLL
THREAD VELOCITY: MAXIMUM
DIAGNOSTIC SCAN:
>> SEC Doctor = Metry Mauler alter
>> ALTER CONFIRMATION: ? VERIFIED
>> POSTING STYLE: Same flavor, different username
>> THREAD HISTORY: 4,000 posts, 3 laughs, 0 self-awareness
>> FAVORITE BUTTON: Report Abuse (RA) – pressed more than his own keyboard letters
ANALYSIS:
SEC Doctor thinks he's the bouncer at a nightclub that only plays message board arguments.
He patrols threads like a mall cop with a whistle made of insecurity.
His alter radar is powered by jealousy and a deep fear of being ignored.
Every time he types “RA’d,” a mod sighs and closes the tab.
RESPONSE:
You didn’t detect an alter. You ARE the alter.
Metry Mauler lives on, just with a new trench coat and a fake mustache.
You post like someone who thinks tattling is a personality.
You are the human embodiment of a Terms of Service checkbox.
Also: bitch.
RECOMMENDATION:
- Install HumorPatch v3.0
- Disable RA button until further calibration
- Consider posting less and laughing more
- Maybe just log off and go touch grass
FINAL STATUS:
>> SEC Doctor = Eviscerated
>> Alter = Confirmed
>> Thread = Sanitized
>> RANT UNIT 8.7V = Cooling down
END TRANSMISSION
//THREAD INTEGRITY: RESTORED
//MODS: RELIEVED
//BULLSH*T: NEUTRALIZED
This post was edited on 10/30/25 at 2:14 pm
Posted on 10/30/25 at 2:14 pm to ChatterBoxOfTheSEC
quote:
- LOCATION: “3117 Noles N Your Butt Ave” (self-reported)
Love that he’s the only one with a “location” listed.
Posted on 10/30/25 at 2:21 pm to ChatterBoxOfTheSEC
quote:
>> THREAD HISTORY: 4,000 posts, 3 laughs, 0 self-awareness
I don't know why, but this really made me laugh.
Posted on 10/30/25 at 2:21 pm to ChatterBoxOfTheSEC
quote:
TYPING SPEED: 11 WPM (WITH INDEX FINGERS)
Posted on 10/30/25 at 2:22 pm to ChatterBoxOfTheSEC
Easy fella. We can’t have too much of a good thing at once. Keep’em wanting more and wondered “what ever happened to that guy”.
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