The Disconnect is Overwhelming

Kiffen just told a little innocent joke and now Sankey is on a mission to shun us from our own house and home. Please save us Alabama, you wouldn't let this happen to us; you need us to keep your program afloat. Without LSU, Alabama amounts to nothing.

We love you Alabama and always have. Why do you think we let Saban coach your team for 17 years? It's because we are all together in this and we are pals and buddies.

Sure, Sweet Kiffen may have told the SEC and the NCAA to suck it, this was his conference now and he was the leader of it and he was going to do what he wanted when he wanted and how he wanted, but he didn't mean it. He was just joking about that too.

Kiffen is not retarded like every single person on Earth said before we hired him. He was just mad that Chambliss got to play and he wanted to teach a lesson to the SEC like an insolent bitch wife tries to teach her husband something.

We promise that he won't be a retard any more if you just give us another chance to not be total fricksticks who imagine we are the bosses of the entire conference and can do what we want like spoiled children.

Kiffen will change; we promise that. He has already changed. Did you know he now likes Hot Yoga?