I hate Georgia

Yes it’s me your handsome white Jesus.

return to you victorious, just like I promised I would.

I won that motherfrickin’ dragon boat race, and with the winnings I turned this disgusting field into a state of the art little league facility.

I got rid of the sofa, got rid of the hypodermics, the tampons, got rid of the goddam thrown up sizzurp that was everywhere.

That being said. I fricking hate Georgia and their soft arse fans. Remind me of that apple pie that got boinked in some movie...

I have Tennessee and their sorry arse program. Had a coach who didn’t even know what asparagus was and fans who looks like they beer bong the drippings from the Waffle House.

LSU can lick my scrotum and Kentucky can have sloppy seconds.

And that goes for the rest of you low down degenerates.

However, I love all of you in a weird way. Like you love that lunch lady who looked like Shrek but always hooked you up.

But Texas, you’re just awful. Nobody wants you here and if it wasn’t for your lame arse fans pouring that money into your lane arse program, you wouldn’t be in.

Literally all the shite we give Tenner is nothing compared to the hate you’re gonna get. You rhinestone wearing fairies love dildos and charcuterie boards. Your a basic white bitch that got in because your boring arse dad is rich, even though you got a cleft lip and a cottage cheese arse.

You don’t belong and you never will. You will underachieve and your fans will turn on you. A coaching carousel will be like a downward spiral once Sark hits the booze again. You will be humiliated every year and recruits will turn tail and run to Bama.

And we will laugh at your misery.

So enjoy this day and your innocence. Because once the shite birds comes home to roost, you’ll be pining for the Big 12.

And Oklahoma, you seem aight. Keep it that way.