Retired

come help me build a slab in my back yard


I'll pay you in beer and grilled smoked sausage

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So retired dudes, what takes up your time?

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Been retired since 2015. I find what works for me is every morning I start off slow and taper off.

From an email I recently received:

I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only so many years later.

I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew.

I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don’t have acne.

Life is great. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment, now it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don’t have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I’m just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice. AND GET IT.

At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

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What's the slab gonna be used for? Size?

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I will build the slab as big as possible between a limited space between neighbor's fence and a tree and my back survey line

then buy the biggest storage shed that will fit on it

any overlay will be a porch next to the shed to sit and get drunk in a different part of my yard

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I'll pay you with my sausage

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Gay

Finding stuff to do. I’ve been getting into woodworking. Well making sawdust out of really expensive wood. I’ve always been an electricial/mechanical type, so learning something new is mentally stimulating.

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sit and get drunk in a different part of my yard

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bucket list shite right there

Aren't you retired? Maybe you can take the dude hunting or fishing? I think he's tired of purse shopping with Harry.

Honey do’s (I enjoy), fishing, kids, family, tv, friends. I retired due to health, have M.S, not even 50, so sometimes I don’t know wtf to do. I have to pace myself and can’t do too much for more than 2-3 hours. My boys are seniors this year & really won’t know what to do when they go off to college. They’re super smart and have their choice of schools, so I don’t know how far they’re going. But if you figure it out lmk.

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Honey do’s (I enjoy), fishing, kids, family, tv, friends. I retired due to health, have M.S, not even 50, so sometimes I don’t know wtf to do. I have to pace myself and can’t do too much for more than 2-3 hours. My boys are seniors this year & really won’t know what to do when they go off to college. They’re super smart and have their choice of schools, so I don’t know how far they’re going. But if you figure it out lmk.

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Sounds like you raised some fine young men whose off-spring you can spoil rotten in a few years.