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New foster kid
Posted on 4/19/23 at 10:34 pm
Posted on 4/19/23 at 10:34 pm
Awhile back I posted about how much trouble we’ve had with the state with our last foster children, that situation wrecked my wife and I since they were reunited with their shite bag of a mother. We took a few months off, honestly we were hoping their Mom would screw up and we could get them back. Time went on and we are now ready to take on more kids. We never considered older teens but my wife saw a post about a 17 year old boy in juvie who literally has nobody. He gets two phone calls a week but he has nobody so up until now, he only had his case worker to call. I just couldn’t imagine being so alone. My wife pushed me to at least meet him which we did today, in the year he has been in the home, we are his only visitors that didn’t work for the state. He knew we were considering taking him in and he just lit up. He will be 18 in September so he asked if we would kick him out then, and the look on his face when we told him he can stay with us as long as needs makes this all worth it. I’m certain this won’t be easy but I’m hoping that between my Church and Veterans groups I’m active with, he will realize it doesn’t take blood to be family. Personally I’m nervous as hell, has my anxiety on tilt, but my wife is dead set on this, I’m just hoping this all works out as this wasn’t our original,plan
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Posted on 4/19/23 at 11:11 pm to AgSGT
what's he in jail for???Posted on 4/19/23 at 11:12 pm to MoarKilometers
He beat the man that was assaulting his Mom
Posted on 4/19/23 at 11:15 pm to AgSGT
quote:
He beat the man that was assaulting his Mom
It's legal to defend people, so what really happened? And his mom he was defending wants nothing to do with him? I'm very confused by these details. Have you seen the arrest report and talked with staff at the facility???
Posted on 4/19/23 at 11:17 pm to MoarKilometers
Please tell me that the rolling on the ground laughter gif wasn’t done on purpose, post was about a kid whose been dealt a shite hand all his life, a kid wanting to make a change, and my family wanting to help. Wasn’t asking for praise, honestly, I’m just nervous about it and in my last post about fostering, I got some great advice
Posted on 4/19/23 at 11:18 pm to MoarKilometers
He went too far
Posted on 4/19/23 at 11:19 pm to MoarKilometers
But his Mom overdosed last year, so she isn’t around
Posted on 4/19/23 at 11:23 pm to MoarKilometers
But yes, I asked all those same questions, looked into all the arrest reports, kid went too far defending his Mom, who is a shite bag as well, he knows that, she was a horrible person as well, but it was his Mom. Not sure why your approach to this thread is to attack a kid in need of a home
Posted on 4/19/23 at 11:25 pm to AgSGT
Fair enough. Those 2 details were pertinent to the in juvie situation and no one to take him in upon release. Was laughing for the lack of details and how casually the in jail thing was tossed out. I honestly hope it is an enriching experience for all 3 of y'all. Y'all do seem like wonderful people to be doing this, again, so hopefully we'll see some great updates in the future 
edit: make sure he finds good friends and not the people he was just doing time with. That's the only real advice I have. Just wanted to be sure y'all looked into it enough.
edit: make sure he finds good friends and not the people he was just doing time with. That's the only real advice I have. Just wanted to be sure y'all looked into it enough.
This post was edited on 4/19/23 at 11:35 pm
Posted on 4/19/23 at 11:34 pm to MoarKilometers
Fostering is tough, especially with older kids. This kid has some demons he will need to work thru, our original plan involved young kids but this kid’s story pulled at my wife’s heart strings. He has nobody, literally nobody. Kid saw his Mom being abused by multiple boyfriends and he finally reacted but because it wasn’t while she was being abused he couldn’t claim he was defending his mother who ended up overdosing months later, nothing is laughable about that. His bio Dad was never in the picture but he is in prison for at least the next 30 years from what we understand. This kid has gotten nothing in life, we are hoping that changes with him coming to us, nothing laughable about that
Posted on 4/19/23 at 11:50 pm to MoarKilometers
quote:
edit: make sure he finds good friends and not the people he was just doing time with. That's the only real advice I have. Just wanted to be sure y'all looked into it enough.
We live a few hours from where he grew up, he won’t be around his old crowd. We may actually change churches, we love our Church but it’s almost an hour away. Not bad for us but we are thinking about checking out a closer Church so he can take advantage of meeting people closer to home
Posted on 4/20/23 at 12:09 am to MoarKilometers
I have a wife and family, do you honestly think I approach this casually? I
Posted on 4/20/23 at 6:25 am to AgSGT
I have no jokes. I am middle aged and cynical as all hell about most things. That being said...
This will take full commitment on you and your wife's part and that still probably has about a 90% possibility for failure.
God bless you and I am not trying to discourage but 17 years of history is a lot to undo. I know you know this already hence your nervousness. It is well founded. I could not do it. I guess I am just not that strong.
If I were going to try and help this "damn near man," I think I would wait until he gets out and then try to help him get established on his on...housing, job, school, counseling, and be a point of contact.
I don't think I would bring him into my house except for visits.
This will take full commitment on you and your wife's part and that still probably has about a 90% possibility for failure.
God bless you and I am not trying to discourage but 17 years of history is a lot to undo. I know you know this already hence your nervousness. It is well founded. I could not do it. I guess I am just not that strong.
If I were going to try and help this "damn near man," I think I would wait until he gets out and then try to help him get established on his on...housing, job, school, counseling, and be a point of contact.
I don't think I would bring him into my house except for visits.
Posted on 4/20/23 at 7:16 am to AgSGT
Props to you and the Mrs......prayers that the kid "makes it" in life.
Posted on 4/20/23 at 9:09 am to AgSGT
We fostered for a long time. Only had one older teen. She was 17 too.
Each kid is different, but y'all will do fine. Have an early conversation about how you will trust him as long as he doesn't break your trust. Don't hit him with a bunch of rules to begin with since he's coming from juvie. Start simple with something like "We only have two requests, be a good person and check with us if you want to do anything or go anywhere." Then adapt from there based on his actions. Once they trust you, they come around. It can take a while but only because they've been burned by almost every adult they've ever encountered.
Thanks for helping kids who need it.
Each kid is different, but y'all will do fine. Have an early conversation about how you will trust him as long as he doesn't break your trust. Don't hit him with a bunch of rules to begin with since he's coming from juvie. Start simple with something like "We only have two requests, be a good person and check with us if you want to do anything or go anywhere." Then adapt from there based on his actions. Once they trust you, they come around. It can take a while but only because they've been burned by almost every adult they've ever encountered.
Thanks for helping kids who need it.
Posted on 4/20/23 at 9:26 am to AgSGT
quote:
AgSGT
I think Kyle offered some great advice. I would just say to trust what you feel you are being led to do, and try not to get too caught up in short term successes/failures. The true impact that you have on this young man’s life may not be fully realized, by him or you, until years down the road. God bless your family and this young man.
Posted on 4/20/23 at 3:23 pm to AgSGT
May God bless you and may God bless this endeavor. Granting you the energy, resources and strength to give this young man the family he needs
Posted on 4/21/23 at 5:00 am to AgSGT
quote:
He will be 18 in September so he asked if we would kick him out then, and the look on his face when we told him he can stay with us as long as needs makes this all worth it.
Can I live with you?
Posted on 4/21/23 at 2:34 pm to pioneerbasketball
You're too young.
Posted on 4/21/23 at 8:03 pm to pioneerbasketball
Foster kids don’t get much but from what we understand they do get tuition paid for at a Missouri public college. Most don’t take advantage because they don’t have a place to stay, we are offering him that. He is ready to work when he isn’t in school, our rules, not his, but we already got him a job on a friends construction crew during his down time before school
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