re: Hey all you OT pussies-get the frick up and get on the board

It's also disrespectful to loudly announce in a bar full of people, "I've got to take a shite!"

Here's the whole story:

So I worked with a good-looking country gal who was always trying to set me up with her friends because she and I were in the friend zone. Whatever.

She showed me a picture of this girl and I said, "why not?"

The girl insisted on driving to my apartment to meet me. OK. Fine. She did.

When she arrived, I asked her where she wanted to eat. She said, "Red Lobster." She had obviously already been thinking about it. I'm not a fan, and this should have been a sign, but I was going to take this country girl with big hooters tucked into a fuzzy sweater to her chosen restaurant.

We went the the Lobster. She plowed through the cheese biscuits and her meal like she didn't know when her next meal would be. I was impressed because she wasn't a big gal.

Then we went the bar to meet some friends. It was a nice place. We're all hanging out at the bar, drinking, talking, etc., and she grabbed me and said, "I have to use the bathroom."

I pointed toward the restrooms and told her, "The bathroom is over there."

She stood there.

A couple minutes later she grabbed me again and said the same thing. I told her the same thing. And then she said that we needed to go so she can use the bathroom. I asked her to hold on while I finished my drink.

About two minutes later, we go through the same process, and then she got a stern look on her face and announced in an extremely loud voice, "I've got to take a shite!" There was a lull in the conversation when she did it, so everyone in the place heard it.

The record stopped and you could hear a pin drop. The bartenders start dying laughing as did my friends. I asked for my check and we hauled arse.

We got to my apartment and she bee-lined to the bathroom and absolutely destroyed it. She was in there for 10 minutes. When she came out, the turd smell was all over her.

She asked me if I wanted to go back out to meet my friends, and I was like, "nah." Then she grabbed me and started trying to make out with me. I told her I didn't feel well and that she probably needed to go home, so I walked her out to her car.

I never talked to her again.

Your face must have been priceless.

That's a good representation of me after she left.

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She plows through the cheese biscuits and her meal like she doesn't know when her next meal will be

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:rotflmao:

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all she gave me was a BM.

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Gonna give some to Ms.3K

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If she eats them without destroying your bathroom you know you've done good

looks like a really good thread right here

This thread has taken some turns
We've covered
-drinking
-sonic
-music
-musicians
-choosing usernames
-choosing kids' names
-England vs Germany
-WW1
-WW2
-Manifest Destiny
-Shia Lebeauf
-Restauruants/Food
-Poor dates
-cheddar biscuits from red lobster
-the necessity for tp and Febreze to avoid the biohazard that your date may leave in your apartment after announcing to a bar full of people she's gotta go
Good thread