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Posted on 5/28/25 at 3:54 am to OK Roughneck
Posted on 5/28/25 at 3:54 am to OK Roughneck

Today in History: May 28
0585 A solar eclipse interrupts a battle outside Sardis in western Turkey between Medes and Lydians. The battle ends in a draw.
1830 Congress authorizes Indian removal from all states to the western Prairie.
1863 The 54th Massachusetts, a regiment of African-American recruits, leaves Boston, headed for Hilton Head, South Carolina.
2002 NATO declares Russia a limited partner in the Western alliance.
2018 One million French smokers quit in one year after anti-smoking measures introduced according to Public Health France
2020 Minnesota Governor Tim Walz declares State of Emergency in Minneapolis and activates the Minnesota National Guard after protests over the death of George Floyd in police custody
Born on May 28
1738 Dr. Joseph-Ignace Guillotin, French inventor of the execution device which bears his name.
1818 P. G. T. Beauregard, Confederate general during the American Civil War.
1888 Jim Thorpe, American athlete.
Joke of the Day
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago , another is from Tennessee , and the third is from Minnesota .
All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."
The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?" The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."
"Done!" replies the government official.
And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work

Posted on 5/29/25 at 1:00 am to Summer of Jimbo
Morning All its 1am here and its starting to rain. 

Posted on 5/29/25 at 3:45 am to OK Roughneck

Today in History: May 29
1721 South Carolina is formally incorporated as a royal colony of England.
1790 Rhode Island becomes the last of the original thirteen colonies to ratify the Constitution.
1848 Wisconsin becomes the thirtieth state.
1849 A patent for lifting vessels is granted to Abraham Lincoln.
1862 Confederate general P.G.T. Beauregard retreats to Tupelo, Mississippi.
1911 The Indianapolis 500 is run for the first time.
1916 U.S. forces invade the Dominican Republic.
1974 President Richard Nixon agrees to turn over 1,200 pages of edited Watergate transcripts.
2004 The World War II Memorial is dedicated in Washington, D.C.
2019 Transgender no longer classified as a mental health illness by the World Health Organization
2023 Canadian hiker Delaney Irving (19) wins perilous Cooper's Hill Cheese-Rolling in Brockworth, Glocestershire, England, despite being knocked unconscious
Born on May 29
1903 Bob Hope, comedian and actor.
1917 John Fitzgerald Kennedy, 35th President of the United States (1961-1963).
JOTD
What do you get when you cross human DNA with a goat?
Arrested and Banned from the petting zoo

Posted on 5/29/25 at 8:32 am to Rockbrc
So good
I did it twice today.
I did it twice today.
Posted on 5/30/25 at 3:30 am to awestruck

Today in History: May 30
1416 Jerome of Prague is burned as a heretic by the Church.
1431 Joan of Arc is burned at the stake by the English.
1848 William Young patents the ice cream freezer.
1868 Memorial Day begins when two women place flowers on both Confederate and Union graves.
1889 The brassiere is invented.
1921 The U.S. Navy transfers the Teapot Dome oil reserves to the Department of the Interior.
1975 European Space Agency (ESA) forms
2019 Louisiana Governor John Bel Edwards signs new anti-abortion, making it the fifth southern US state to ban abortion when fetal heartbeat detected
2020 Record number of COVID-19 cases reported worldwide 134,064, driven by hot spots in Brazil, Peru, Egypt, South Africa and Bangladesh
2021 Tens of thousands of people march in Brazilian cities against President Jair Bolsonaro and his handling of the COVID-19 pandemic
2023 400 leading AI industry experts sign letter warning “Mitigating the risk of extinction from AI should be a global priority alongside other societal-scale risks such as pandemics and nuclear war.”
Born on May 30
1909 Benny Goodman, musician, big band leader.
JOTD
Little Johnny gets caught playing doctor with the neighbour girl.
Dad doesn’t approve thinking Johnny is on track to knock up a young teen in a few years. “Johnny, you know that girls have teeth down there? “What, are you lying?” “Nope, you need to keep clear of that business son”
Years later in high school Johnny starts dating a girl but after some time she starts wondering why Johnny hasn’t tried to take things to the next level. “Johnny, are you attracted to me? We’ve been together for months and you haven’t tried sleeping with me yet. Is something wrong?” Johnny replies, “When I was younger, my dad told me that girls have teeth, you know, down there.
“That’s silly”, she says, “let me show you”. So she starts to strip from the waist down, lies back and spreads her legs. “See! No teeth!”
Johnny looking horrified says “ Well no wonder! Look at the state of your gums!!!”

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