Armymann50
| Favorite team: | LSU  |
| Location: | Playing with my |
| Biography: | |
| Interests: | no nurses |
| Occupation: | retired |
| Number of Posts: | 22381 |
| Registered on: | 9/3/2011 |
| Online Status: | Not Online |
Recent Posts
Message
re: GMT
Posted by Armymann50 on 5/9/26 at 11:49 pm to OK Roughneck
We had 2 days straight of hard rain
1
re: Drunk or not? Four drinks, four hours
Posted by Armymann50 on 5/8/26 at 11:17 am to FieldEngineer
quote:
If a 200 lb man drinks four drinks (typical light beers, one per hour) over a four hour
he is not getting laid cause he is a pu ss y
re: Why are people crying over gas prices
Posted by Armymann50 on 5/8/26 at 11:15 am to Galloglaich
quote:
20 more buck
truck nuts for all petro braws :usa:
re: GMT
Posted by Armymann50 on 5/8/26 at 11:12 am to Deep Purple Haze
O
quote:
k
re: Would you vax for Hanta?
Posted by Armymann50 on 5/8/26 at 4:12 am to sabanisarustedspoke
I'm not sweeping rat dropping in a dusty enclosed building in southwest New Mexico.
GMT
Posted by Armymann50 on 5/8/26 at 4:05 am
:gmt:
Today in History: May 8
1541 Hernando de Soto discovers the Mississippi River which he calls Rio de Espiritu Santo.
1794 The United States Post Office is established.
1862 General 'Stonewall' Jackson repulses the Federals at the Battle of McDowell, in the Shenendoah Valley.
1864 Union troops arrive at Spotsylvania Court House to find the Confederates waiting for them.
1886 Atlanta pharmacist John Pemberton invents Coca Cola.
1904 U.S. Marines land in Tangier, North Africa, to protect the Belgian legation.
1940 German commandos in Dutch uniforms cross the Dutch border to hold bridges for the advancing German army.
1942 The Battle of the Coral Sea between the Japanese Navy and the U.S. Navy ends.
1945 The final surrender of German forces is celebrated as VE (Victory Europe) day.
1967 Boxer Muhammad Ali is indicted for refusing induction in U.S. Army.
1995 Jacques Chirac is elected president of France.
2021 Tesla chief executive Tesla Elon Musk hosts "Saturday Night Live" in the US
2021 Indian Medical Association calls for a national lockdown, criticizing President Modi's government's response as recorded COVID-19 deaths pass 4,000 a day
2022 Thai government announces it will give away one million cannabis plants to households to mark new rule allowing people to grow it at home
Born on May 8
.
1884 Harry S. Truman, 33rd President of the United States (1945-1953).
1969 mfiwd Lizzies husband
JOTD
A priest goes into a barbershop, gets a haircut, thanks the barber and asks how much he owes him.
The barber says, "Father, you're a holy man, a man of the cloth, I couldn't charge you, it's on the house."
The priest says, "Thank you very much" and leaves.
The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep of the barbershop are 12 gold coins.
A few days later, a minister goes in for a shave and a shine, and when the time comes to pay the barber says, "No money, please, you're a spiritual leader, a man of the cloth. It's on the house."
The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep are 12 rubies.
The following week a rabbi comes in, gets a haircut, goes to pay, and the barber says, "No, rabbi, you are a learned man, a wise man. I can't take any money from you. Go in peace."
And the next day, magically appearing on the doorstep of the barbershop are 12 rabbis.
Today in History: May 8
1541 Hernando de Soto discovers the Mississippi River which he calls Rio de Espiritu Santo.
1794 The United States Post Office is established.
1862 General 'Stonewall' Jackson repulses the Federals at the Battle of McDowell, in the Shenendoah Valley.
1864 Union troops arrive at Spotsylvania Court House to find the Confederates waiting for them.
1886 Atlanta pharmacist John Pemberton invents Coca Cola.
1904 U.S. Marines land in Tangier, North Africa, to protect the Belgian legation.
1940 German commandos in Dutch uniforms cross the Dutch border to hold bridges for the advancing German army.
1942 The Battle of the Coral Sea between the Japanese Navy and the U.S. Navy ends.
1945 The final surrender of German forces is celebrated as VE (Victory Europe) day.
1967 Boxer Muhammad Ali is indicted for refusing induction in U.S. Army.
1995 Jacques Chirac is elected president of France.
2021 Tesla chief executive Tesla Elon Musk hosts "Saturday Night Live" in the US
2021 Indian Medical Association calls for a national lockdown, criticizing President Modi's government's response as recorded COVID-19 deaths pass 4,000 a day
2022 Thai government announces it will give away one million cannabis plants to households to mark new rule allowing people to grow it at home
Born on May 8
.
1884 Harry S. Truman, 33rd President of the United States (1945-1953).
1969 mfiwd Lizzies husband
JOTD
A priest goes into a barbershop, gets a haircut, thanks the barber and asks how much he owes him.
The barber says, "Father, you're a holy man, a man of the cloth, I couldn't charge you, it's on the house."
The priest says, "Thank you very much" and leaves.
The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep of the barbershop are 12 gold coins.
A few days later, a minister goes in for a shave and a shine, and when the time comes to pay the barber says, "No money, please, you're a spiritual leader, a man of the cloth. It's on the house."
The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep are 12 rubies.
The following week a rabbi comes in, gets a haircut, goes to pay, and the barber says, "No, rabbi, you are a learned man, a wise man. I can't take any money from you. Go in peace."
And the next day, magically appearing on the doorstep of the barbershop are 12 rabbis.
re: Something from youth now missing?
Posted by Armymann50 on 5/7/26 at 6:54 am to Bayou
Blck jack gum.
re: GMT
Posted by Armymann50 on 5/7/26 at 6:50 am to TrueTiger
Is that a guy?
GMT
Posted by Armymann50 on 5/7/26 at 4:00 am
:GMT:
Today in History: May 7
0558 The dome of the church of St. Sophia in Constantinople collapses. Its immediate rebuilding is ordered by Justinian.
1429 Joan of Arc breaks the English siege of Orleans.
1800 Congress divides the Northwest Territory into two parts. The western part will becomes the Indiana Territory and the eastern section remains the Northwest Territory.
1824 Beethoven's "Ninth Symphony" premieres in Vienna.
1877 Indian chief Sitting Bull enters Canada with a trail of Indians after the Battle of Little Bighorn.
1942 In the Battle of the Coral Sea, Japanese and American navies attack each other with carrier-launched warplanes. It is the first time in the history of naval warfare where two fleets fought without seeing each other.Two crucial battles in 1942 marked the turning point of the war in the Pacific.
1960 Leonid Brezhnev becomes president of the Soviet Union.
Born on May 7
1901 Gary Cooper, film actor (High Noon, Friendly Persuasion).
1909 Edwin Herbert Land, inventor of the Polaroid Land Camera.
JOTD
Are your kids twins?
A very loud, unattractive, mean, nasty woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly, "Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't. The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"
"I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am," replied the greeter, "I just couldn't believe someone would frick you twice ..."
Today in History: May 7
0558 The dome of the church of St. Sophia in Constantinople collapses. Its immediate rebuilding is ordered by Justinian.
1429 Joan of Arc breaks the English siege of Orleans.
1800 Congress divides the Northwest Territory into two parts. The western part will becomes the Indiana Territory and the eastern section remains the Northwest Territory.
1824 Beethoven's "Ninth Symphony" premieres in Vienna.
1877 Indian chief Sitting Bull enters Canada with a trail of Indians after the Battle of Little Bighorn.
1942 In the Battle of the Coral Sea, Japanese and American navies attack each other with carrier-launched warplanes. It is the first time in the history of naval warfare where two fleets fought without seeing each other.Two crucial battles in 1942 marked the turning point of the war in the Pacific.
1960 Leonid Brezhnev becomes president of the Soviet Union.
Born on May 7
1901 Gary Cooper, film actor (High Noon, Friendly Persuasion).
1909 Edwin Herbert Land, inventor of the Polaroid Land Camera.
JOTD
Are your kids twins?
A very loud, unattractive, mean, nasty woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly, "Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't. The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"
"I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am," replied the greeter, "I just couldn't believe someone would frick you twice ..."
re: Lunch Thray: Hump day edition
Posted by Armymann50 on 5/6/26 at 12:21 pm to HillabeeBaw
Mango slices
re: 10 Safest cities in Louisiana
Posted by Armymann50 on 5/6/26 at 12:09 pm to dallastiger55
quote:
Nailed a girl from DeRidder once.
pic's or it didn't happen
re: GMT
Posted by Armymann50 on 5/5/26 at 4:05 am to Rockbrc
:GMT:
Today in History: May 5
1260 Kublai Khan, grandson of Genghis Khan, becomes ruler of the Mongol Empire
1494 Christopher Columbus lands on the island of Jamaica, which he names Santa Gloria.
1821 Napoleon Bonaparte dies in exile on the island of St. Helena.
1862 Cinco de Mayo, or the fifth of May, is a holiday that celebrates the date of the Mexican army’s May 5, 1862 victory over France at the Battle of Puebla during the Franco-Mexican War.
1912 Soviet Communist Party newspaper Pravda begins publishing.
1916 U.S. Marines invade the Dominican Republic.
1965 173rd Airborne Brigade arrives in Bien Hoa-Vung, Vietnam, the first regular U.S. Army unit deployed to that country.
2000 The Sun, Earth, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn align - Earth's moon is also almost in this alignment - leading to Doomsday predictions of massive natural disasters, although such a 'grand confluence' occurs about once in every century.
2015 Scientists announce the discovery of the oldest & most distant galaxy known to man, EGS-zs8-1
2020 Global confirmed cases of COVID-19 reach 3.65 million, US cases pass 70,000 while the UK becomes the most affected in Europe with 29,427 known deaths
Born on May 5
1818 Karl Marx, German philosopher (The Communist Manifesto, Das Kapital).
1830 John B. Stetson, American hat maker.
1970 Darth_Vader Alabama native poster one death under his belt.
JOTD
Little girl lands position as construction boss.
A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family’s 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them “gems-in-the-rough” more or less, had adopted her as a kind of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars.
The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars “pay” she’d received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age.
The little girl proudly replied: “I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.”
“Oh my goodness gracious,” said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week, too?”
The little girl replied, “I will if those lazy assholes from Lowe’s ever deliver the fricking sheetrock.”
Today in History: May 5
1260 Kublai Khan, grandson of Genghis Khan, becomes ruler of the Mongol Empire
1494 Christopher Columbus lands on the island of Jamaica, which he names Santa Gloria.
1821 Napoleon Bonaparte dies in exile on the island of St. Helena.
1862 Cinco de Mayo, or the fifth of May, is a holiday that celebrates the date of the Mexican army’s May 5, 1862 victory over France at the Battle of Puebla during the Franco-Mexican War.
1912 Soviet Communist Party newspaper Pravda begins publishing.
1916 U.S. Marines invade the Dominican Republic.
1965 173rd Airborne Brigade arrives in Bien Hoa-Vung, Vietnam, the first regular U.S. Army unit deployed to that country.
2000 The Sun, Earth, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn align - Earth's moon is also almost in this alignment - leading to Doomsday predictions of massive natural disasters, although such a 'grand confluence' occurs about once in every century.
2015 Scientists announce the discovery of the oldest & most distant galaxy known to man, EGS-zs8-1
2020 Global confirmed cases of COVID-19 reach 3.65 million, US cases pass 70,000 while the UK becomes the most affected in Europe with 29,427 known deaths
Born on May 5
1818 Karl Marx, German philosopher (The Communist Manifesto, Das Kapital).
1830 John B. Stetson, American hat maker.
1970 Darth_Vader Alabama native poster one death under his belt.
JOTD
Little girl lands position as construction boss.
A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family’s 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them “gems-in-the-rough” more or less, had adopted her as a kind of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars.
The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars “pay” she’d received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age.
The little girl proudly replied: “I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.”
“Oh my goodness gracious,” said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week, too?”
The little girl replied, “I will if those lazy assholes from Lowe’s ever deliver the fricking sheetrock.”
GMT
Posted by Armymann50 on 5/5/26 at 4:00 am
:GMT:
Today in History: May 5
1260 Kublai Khan, grandson of Genghis Khan, becomes ruler of the Mongol Empire
1494 Christopher Columbus lands on the island of Jamaica, which he names Santa Gloria.
1821 Napoleon Bonaparte dies in exile on the island of St. Helena.
1862 Cinco de Mayo, or the fifth of May, is a holiday that celebrates the date of the Mexican army’s May 5, 1862 victory over France at the Battle of Puebla during the Franco-Mexican War.
1912 Soviet Communist Party newspaper Pravda begins publishing.
1916 U.S. Marines invade the Dominican Republic.
1965 173rd Airborne Brigade arrives in Bien Hoa-Vung, Vietnam, the first regular U.S. Army unit deployed to that country.
2000 The Sun, Earth, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn align - Earth's moon is also almost in this alignment - leading to Doomsday predictions of massive natural disasters, although such a 'grand confluence' occurs about once in every century.
2015 Scientists announce the discovery of the oldest & most distant galaxy known to man, EGS-zs8-1
2020 Global confirmed cases of COVID-19 reach 3.65 million, US cases pass 70,000 while the UK becomes the most affected in Europe with 29,427 known deaths
Born on May 5
1818 Karl Marx, German philosopher (The Communist Manifesto, Das Kapital).
1830 John B. Stetson, American hat maker.
1970 Darth_Vader Alabama native poster
JOTD
Little girl lands position as construction boss.
A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family’s 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them “gems-in-the-rough” more or less, had adopted her as a kind of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars.
The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars “pay” she’d received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age.
The little girl proudly replied: “I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.”
“Oh my goodness gracious,” said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week, too?”
The little girl replied, “I will if those lazy assholes from Lowe’s ever deliver the fricking sheetrock.”
[img]
Today in History: May 5
1260 Kublai Khan, grandson of Genghis Khan, becomes ruler of the Mongol Empire
1494 Christopher Columbus lands on the island of Jamaica, which he names Santa Gloria.
1821 Napoleon Bonaparte dies in exile on the island of St. Helena.
1862 Cinco de Mayo, or the fifth of May, is a holiday that celebrates the date of the Mexican army’s May 5, 1862 victory over France at the Battle of Puebla during the Franco-Mexican War.
1912 Soviet Communist Party newspaper Pravda begins publishing.
1916 U.S. Marines invade the Dominican Republic.
1965 173rd Airborne Brigade arrives in Bien Hoa-Vung, Vietnam, the first regular U.S. Army unit deployed to that country.
2000 The Sun, Earth, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn align - Earth's moon is also almost in this alignment - leading to Doomsday predictions of massive natural disasters, although such a 'grand confluence' occurs about once in every century.
2015 Scientists announce the discovery of the oldest & most distant galaxy known to man, EGS-zs8-1
2020 Global confirmed cases of COVID-19 reach 3.65 million, US cases pass 70,000 while the UK becomes the most affected in Europe with 29,427 known deaths
Born on May 5
1818 Karl Marx, German philosopher (The Communist Manifesto, Das Kapital).
1830 John B. Stetson, American hat maker.
1970 Darth_Vader Alabama native poster
JOTD
Little girl lands position as construction boss.
A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family’s 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them “gems-in-the-rough” more or less, had adopted her as a kind of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars.
The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars “pay” she’d received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age.
The little girl proudly replied: “I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.”
“Oh my goodness gracious,” said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week, too?”
The little girl replied, “I will if those lazy assholes from Lowe’s ever deliver the fricking sheetrock.”
[img]
re: Nancy Mace has the names of those who have used the sex harassment slush fund since 2004
Posted by Armymann50 on 5/4/26 at 2:34 pm to Red Stick Rambler
Guilty
re: GMT
Posted by Armymann50 on 5/4/26 at 4:19 am to NoHoTiger
Run water over you hands
GMT
Posted by Armymann50 on 5/4/26 at 4:06 am
:GMT:
Today in History: May 4
1471 In England, the Yorkists defeat the Lancastrians at the Battle of Tewkesbury.
1626 American Indians sell Manhattan Island for $24 in cloth and buttons.
1776 Rhode Island declares independence from England.
1942 The United States begins food rationing.
1942 The Battle of the Coral Sea commences.
1970 Ohio National Guardsmen open fire on student protesters at Kent State University, killing four and wounding nine others.
1992 US Army and Marine Corps forces arrive in Los Angeles to end rioting following the acquittal of four police officers over the beating of Rodney King
2020 Countries in Europe begin cautious reopening after COVID-19 lockdown, Italy restarts construction and takeaways, Germany reopens schools
2020 India begins lifting some restrictions in regions with fewer COVID-19 cases
2020 World leaders pledge $8 billion to research treatments and a vaccine for COVID-19, with the US and Russia not taking part
Born on May 4
1929 Audrey Hepburn (Edda van Heemstra Hepburn-Ruston), actress, later U.N. special ambassador.
1949 Graham Swift, British novelist (The Sweet Shop Owner, Out of this World).
JOTD
A sailor comes to port, and decides he really needs to get laid. So he walks into town, and sees a sign- "Sisters of Mercy Convent & Brothel". He walks into what appears to be a church. There's a nun sitting by a table near the door. She intuits what it is he's looking for, and says, put $5 in this tin cup and walk through that door. The sailor does so, and enters another room, and there's another nun, with a table and a cup. $10, she says, and go through that door. The sailor goes into a third room, where a third nun with a table and cup asks for $15, and go through that door. The sailor coughs up the dough, and walks through the door. It slams and locks behind him, and he is in an alley behind the church, facing a brick wall with a large sign- "You have just been screwed by the Sisters of Mercy".
Today in History: May 4
1471 In England, the Yorkists defeat the Lancastrians at the Battle of Tewkesbury.
1626 American Indians sell Manhattan Island for $24 in cloth and buttons.
1776 Rhode Island declares independence from England.
1942 The United States begins food rationing.
1942 The Battle of the Coral Sea commences.
1970 Ohio National Guardsmen open fire on student protesters at Kent State University, killing four and wounding nine others.
1992 US Army and Marine Corps forces arrive in Los Angeles to end rioting following the acquittal of four police officers over the beating of Rodney King
2020 Countries in Europe begin cautious reopening after COVID-19 lockdown, Italy restarts construction and takeaways, Germany reopens schools
2020 India begins lifting some restrictions in regions with fewer COVID-19 cases
2020 World leaders pledge $8 billion to research treatments and a vaccine for COVID-19, with the US and Russia not taking part
Born on May 4
1929 Audrey Hepburn (Edda van Heemstra Hepburn-Ruston), actress, later U.N. special ambassador.
1949 Graham Swift, British novelist (The Sweet Shop Owner, Out of this World).
JOTD
A sailor comes to port, and decides he really needs to get laid. So he walks into town, and sees a sign- "Sisters of Mercy Convent & Brothel". He walks into what appears to be a church. There's a nun sitting by a table near the door. She intuits what it is he's looking for, and says, put $5 in this tin cup and walk through that door. The sailor does so, and enters another room, and there's another nun, with a table and a cup. $10, she says, and go through that door. The sailor goes into a third room, where a third nun with a table and cup asks for $15, and go through that door. The sailor coughs up the dough, and walks through the door. It slams and locks behind him, and he is in an alley behind the church, facing a brick wall with a large sign- "You have just been screwed by the Sisters of Mercy".
GMT
Posted by Armymann50 on 4/30/26 at 4:05 am
:GMT:
Today in History: April 30
0313 Licinius unifies the whole of the eastern Roman Empire under his own rule.
1064 German King Henry IV gives away Utrecht county of West Friesland
1789 George Washington is inaugurated as the first U.S. president.
1803 The United States doubles in size through the Louisiana Purchase, which was sold by France for $15 million.
1812 Louisiana is admitted into the Union as a state.
1864 Work begins on the Dams along the Red River, which will allow Union General Nathaniel Banks' troops to sail over the rapids above Alexandria, Louisiana.
1943 The British submarine HMS Seraph drops 'the man who never was,' a dead man the British planted with false invasion plans, into the Mediterranean off the coast of Spain.
1945 Adolf Hitler commits suicide in his bunker. Karl Donitz becomes his successor.
1973 President Richard Nixon announces the resignation of Harry Robbins Haldeman, John Ehrlichman, and other top aides.
1975 North Vietnamese troops enter the Independence Palace of South Vietnam in Saigon ending the Vietnam War.
2020 US President Donald Trump claims COVID-19 originated in a lab in Wuhan, while the Office of the Director of National Intelligence saying the virus is not manmade
2021 Australia announces a ban on citizens returning from India, stranding 8,000 people, and making it a criminal offence to return, amid India's COVID-19 crisis - first democratic country to do so
2022 Jacky Hunt-Broersma sets world record for running 104 consecutive marathons in 104 days, after surviving cancer and with a prosthetic leg.
Born on April 30
1933 Willie Nelson, country singer.
1975 Johnny Galecki, American actor (Roseanne, The Big Bang Theory), born in Bree, Belgium
JOTD
Hooker: “$10 on grass, $30 on sofa, $50 in bed” Man: “I’ll pay $50”
Hooker: “You’re a man of class :)”
Man: “Class my arse, I want it five times on grass”
Today in History: April 30
0313 Licinius unifies the whole of the eastern Roman Empire under his own rule.
1064 German King Henry IV gives away Utrecht county of West Friesland
1789 George Washington is inaugurated as the first U.S. president.
1803 The United States doubles in size through the Louisiana Purchase, which was sold by France for $15 million.
1812 Louisiana is admitted into the Union as a state.
1864 Work begins on the Dams along the Red River, which will allow Union General Nathaniel Banks' troops to sail over the rapids above Alexandria, Louisiana.
1943 The British submarine HMS Seraph drops 'the man who never was,' a dead man the British planted with false invasion plans, into the Mediterranean off the coast of Spain.
1945 Adolf Hitler commits suicide in his bunker. Karl Donitz becomes his successor.
1973 President Richard Nixon announces the resignation of Harry Robbins Haldeman, John Ehrlichman, and other top aides.
1975 North Vietnamese troops enter the Independence Palace of South Vietnam in Saigon ending the Vietnam War.
2020 US President Donald Trump claims COVID-19 originated in a lab in Wuhan, while the Office of the Director of National Intelligence saying the virus is not manmade
2021 Australia announces a ban on citizens returning from India, stranding 8,000 people, and making it a criminal offence to return, amid India's COVID-19 crisis - first democratic country to do so
2022 Jacky Hunt-Broersma sets world record for running 104 consecutive marathons in 104 days, after surviving cancer and with a prosthetic leg.
Born on April 30
1933 Willie Nelson, country singer.
1975 Johnny Galecki, American actor (Roseanne, The Big Bang Theory), born in Bree, Belgium
JOTD
Hooker: “$10 on grass, $30 on sofa, $50 in bed” Man: “I’ll pay $50”
Hooker: “You’re a man of class :)”
Man: “Class my arse, I want it five times on grass”
re: GMT
Posted by Armymann50 on 4/29/26 at 6:13 am to Hangit
Headed to Grande Isle with a stop at Blue Bayou Poorboys. One week of island time :nana:
GMT
Posted by Armymann50 on 4/29/26 at 4:00 am
:GMT:
Today in History: April 29
1289 Qalawun, the Sultan of Egypt, captures Tripoli.
1429 Joan of Arc leads French forces to victory over English at Orleans.
1813 Rubber is patented.
1862 Forts Philip and Jackson surrender to Admiral David Farragut outside New Orleans.
1918 America's WWI Ace of Aces, Eddie Rickenbacker, scores his first victory with the help of Captain James Norman Hall.
1945 The Nazi concentration camp of Dachau is liberated by Allied troops.
1975 Vietnam War: US begins to evacuate its citizens from Saigon in Operation Frequent Wind in response to advancing North Vietnamese forces, bringing an end to US involvement in the war
1992 Four Los Angeles police offices are acquitted of charges stemming from the beating of Rodney King. Rioting ensues.
2020 World record for the longest single lightning flash of 477miles (768km) across US states of Texas, Louisiana and Mississippi according to World Meteorological Organization
2021 Brazil's official COVID-19 death toll passes 400,000, with daily fatalities at 3,000, down from 4,000
2022 World's longest glassed-bottomed bridge, the Bach Long (White Dragon), 632m long, opens in Moc Chau Island mountain park and resort, Vietnam
Born on April 29
1863 William Randolph Hearst, American newspaper publisher.
1899 Edward Kennedy "Duke" Ellington, renowned jazz composer and musician.
1970 Uma Thurman, American actress (Baron Munchausen, Pulp Fiction), born in Boston, Massachusetts
JOTD
The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury. Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, “I got to have this guy. He’s got the best arm I’ve ever seen!”
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
“Mother,” he yells over the phone, “We just won the Super Bowl!”
“Don’t talk to me,” the woman says. “You abandoned us. You can’t be my son.”
The young Iraqi begs, “Mom, you don’t understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!”
“I don’t care,” his mother snaps. “Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped.”
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.
Today in History: April 29
1289 Qalawun, the Sultan of Egypt, captures Tripoli.
1429 Joan of Arc leads French forces to victory over English at Orleans.
1813 Rubber is patented.
1862 Forts Philip and Jackson surrender to Admiral David Farragut outside New Orleans.
1918 America's WWI Ace of Aces, Eddie Rickenbacker, scores his first victory with the help of Captain James Norman Hall.
1945 The Nazi concentration camp of Dachau is liberated by Allied troops.
1975 Vietnam War: US begins to evacuate its citizens from Saigon in Operation Frequent Wind in response to advancing North Vietnamese forces, bringing an end to US involvement in the war
1992 Four Los Angeles police offices are acquitted of charges stemming from the beating of Rodney King. Rioting ensues.
2020 World record for the longest single lightning flash of 477miles (768km) across US states of Texas, Louisiana and Mississippi according to World Meteorological Organization
2021 Brazil's official COVID-19 death toll passes 400,000, with daily fatalities at 3,000, down from 4,000
2022 World's longest glassed-bottomed bridge, the Bach Long (White Dragon), 632m long, opens in Moc Chau Island mountain park and resort, Vietnam
Born on April 29
1863 William Randolph Hearst, American newspaper publisher.
1899 Edward Kennedy "Duke" Ellington, renowned jazz composer and musician.
1970 Uma Thurman, American actress (Baron Munchausen, Pulp Fiction), born in Boston, Massachusetts
JOTD
The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury. Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, “I got to have this guy. He’s got the best arm I’ve ever seen!”
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
“Mother,” he yells over the phone, “We just won the Super Bowl!”
“Don’t talk to me,” the woman says. “You abandoned us. You can’t be my son.”
The young Iraqi begs, “Mom, you don’t understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!”
“I don’t care,” his mother snaps. “Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped.”
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.
re: My parents are in their late 70’s and refuse to create a will
Posted by Armymann50 on 4/28/26 at 5:53 pm to KemoSabe65
quote:
(you and your siblings are going to get fricked).
His new wife will steer him to an attorney if you don’t.
new mommy did just ntis and had all 6 of her kids and 4 grande children as benefisearys
re: My parents are in their late 70’s and refuse to create a will
Posted by Armymann50 on 4/28/26 at 12:13 pm to Spankum
quote:
worthless to anyone but them.
so true
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