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re: "Dear Killz" Advice and Help Column
Posted on 3/17/13 at 9:48 pm to diddydirtyAubie
Posted on 3/17/13 at 9:48 pm to diddydirtyAubie
It sounds like your son engaged in premarital relations 4 1/2 months before marriage.
The marriage is a sham built on lies.
The marriage is a sham built on lies.
1
Posted on 3/17/13 at 9:50 pm to harmonics
Harmony
Just keep sucking on it.
Pay attention, ladies....this is really good advice.
quote:
Killz, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?
Just keep sucking on it.
Pay attention, ladies....this is really good advice.
This post was edited on 3/19/13 at 10:44 pm
Posted on 3/17/13 at 9:53 pm to Slippery Slope
quote:
It sounds like your son engaged in premarital relations 4 1/2 months before marriage.
my son wouldn't do that.
Posted on 3/17/13 at 9:56 pm to diddydirtyAubie
I blame the parents. Probably a morally bankrupt poor home structure.
Posted on 3/17/13 at 9:56 pm to diddydirtyAubie
quote:
Our son was married in October. Five months later his wife had a 8 1/2-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature. Tell me, can a baby this big be that early?
Invite your son over for some father and son alone time. Tell him to meet you in the garage.
The moment he walks in, act like you're going to shake his hand and then punch him in the nuts. While he is trying to catch his breath, tell him to never lie to you again.
This post was edited on 3/18/13 at 10:58 am
Posted on 3/17/13 at 10:02 pm to mizzoukills
When I was little I killed my father. It was a total accident, but my uncle's friends chased me out of town. I've been living in exile for several years, but I've made two really great friends who helped raise me. I just ran into my childhood friend. When we were little we would play and get into trouble all the time. Now I think I'm kind of into her. She seems to resent me a bit for leaving town when shite got bad all those years ago though. She says my uncle is running things and the town's now corrupt. What do I do, kills?
Posted on 3/17/13 at 10:05 pm to jbond
Go back to Pride Rock. You're the rightful heir to the throne. Everything else will fall into place...
Posted on 3/17/13 at 10:06 pm to jbond
I was not disappointed.
This post was edited on 3/17/13 at 10:12 pm
Posted on 3/17/13 at 10:09 pm to CtotheVrzrbck
Alright. It's bed time. I have a 5:00 AM workout.
I'll resume this session tomorrow.
- Killz
I'll resume this session tomorrow.
- Killz
Posted on 3/18/13 at 8:04 am to mizzoukills
Kills, I'm sitting up here in the land of plenty, looking south to the pitiful, nastiness that is Louisiana. What can I do to remedy this situation?
Posted on 3/18/13 at 8:06 am to mizzoukills
My feet get hot while I sleep. What should I do?
This post was edited on 3/18/13 at 8:07 am
Posted on 3/18/13 at 9:44 am to mizzoukills
I have bumps all over my dick, but I'm still a virgin. Is this normal? If not, what is it and what should I do?
Posted on 3/18/13 at 10:28 am to mizzoukills
Bud connect just died of a heroin od. He's the only one in town that had good for 20 a gram. What is my next move??
Posted on 3/18/13 at 11:03 am to NCrawler
NCrawler
Change your point of view.
Either look north toward the paradise of Missouri or west to the setting sun. Don't look east. You'll only see the shite side of Arkansas to the east, ie. West Memphis. That view is almost as bad as the toilet to your south.
Feel comfort knowing that your piss and shite flow south into Louisiana's drinking water.
My revelations should make you feel much better on this dreary Monday morning!
quote:
Kills, I'm sitting up here in the land of plenty, looking south to the pitiful, nastiness that is Louisiana. What can I do to remedy this situation?
Change your point of view.
Either look north toward the paradise of Missouri or west to the setting sun. Don't look east. You'll only see the shite side of Arkansas to the east, ie. West Memphis. That view is almost as bad as the toilet to your south.
Feel comfort knowing that your piss and shite flow south into Louisiana's drinking water.
My revelations should make you feel much better on this dreary Monday morning!
Posted on 3/18/13 at 11:10 am to mwlewis
mwlewis
This is a common problem experienced by millions of people. I, too, experience this problem from time-to-time.
My great grandma, Pippy Nana, had the best country remedies for issues just like this!
First, buy an oscillating fan.
Second, keep one foot (the foot closest to the fan) outside of the covers throughout the night. My rule is "one foot out, one foot in". If you leave one foot outside of the covers, it acts like a natural thermostat, perfectly regulating the temperature of your feet throughout the night.
Third, make sure you're not fat. If so, workout.
quote:
My feet get hot while I sleep. What should I do?
This is a common problem experienced by millions of people. I, too, experience this problem from time-to-time.
My great grandma, Pippy Nana, had the best country remedies for issues just like this!
First, buy an oscillating fan.
Second, keep one foot (the foot closest to the fan) outside of the covers throughout the night. My rule is "one foot out, one foot in". If you leave one foot outside of the covers, it acts like a natural thermostat, perfectly regulating the temperature of your feet throughout the night.
Third, make sure you're not fat. If so, workout.
Posted on 3/18/13 at 11:17 am to mizzoukills
Killz, I have this friend. Well he's more like an acquaintance. Anyway I fricked his wife. What should I do?
Posted on 3/18/13 at 11:18 am to InVolNerable
InVolNerRabble
You may have Molluscum Contagiosum, a harmless and natural occuring viral infection of the skin.
Molluscum usually affects the buttocks and genital areas of your body. Your hands and lower back can be affected as well.
Molluscum bumps will usually disappear with time. However, you can visit a doctor to have them burned off or you can take a sterilized needle and pierce each individual bump, draining the white fluid that contains the virus. Immediately apply antiseptic to the open wound.
I encourage you to refrain from using hot tubs. Molluscum is easily spread in hot tobs where the virus thrives. Molluscum is also spread in skin-to-skin contact, which more than likely implies contact of a sexual nature.
Molluscum is the likely candidate if you are a virgin.
However, if you are not a virgin, you most likely have genital warts...which is disgusting. The thought makes me want to vomit.
For your sake, I hope you were telling the truth.
Dr. Killz
quote:
I have bumps all over my dick, but I'm still a virgin. Is this normal? If not, what is it and what should I do?
You may have Molluscum Contagiosum, a harmless and natural occuring viral infection of the skin.
Molluscum usually affects the buttocks and genital areas of your body. Your hands and lower back can be affected as well.
Molluscum bumps will usually disappear with time. However, you can visit a doctor to have them burned off or you can take a sterilized needle and pierce each individual bump, draining the white fluid that contains the virus. Immediately apply antiseptic to the open wound.
I encourage you to refrain from using hot tubs. Molluscum is easily spread in hot tobs where the virus thrives. Molluscum is also spread in skin-to-skin contact, which more than likely implies contact of a sexual nature.
Molluscum is the likely candidate if you are a virgin.
However, if you are not a virgin, you most likely have genital warts...which is disgusting. The thought makes me want to vomit.
For your sake, I hope you were telling the truth.
Dr. Killz
This post was edited on 3/18/13 at 11:28 am
Posted on 3/18/13 at 11:22 am to Scatmanjohn12
Scatmanjohn12
Be thankful that you no longer have a hookup...
quote:
Bud connect just died of a heroin od. He's the only one in town that had good for 20 a gram. What is my next move??
Be thankful that you no longer have a hookup...
This post was edited on 3/18/13 at 11:23 am
Posted on 3/18/13 at 11:24 am to genro
quote:
Killz, I have this friend. Well he's more like an acquaintance. Anyway I fricked his wife. What should I do?
Pray that her husband isn't a gun owner. Pray. At some point in time he'll be coming after you...
This post was edited on 3/18/13 at 11:25 am
Posted on 3/18/13 at 11:30 am to mizzoukills
Follow-up question: Do you own guns?
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