re: Auburn, y’all need to pick a mascot

quote:

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Convince him to beat the frick out of his girlfriend and Saban will be there in a heartbeat with a scholarship offer.

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Convince him to lose at least 4 games a year in all his sports, and then have his fans proclaim his teams as the best ever, with virtual metaphysical certainty of a championship the next season, then get him comfy with legion field and the bham bowl.

This will prepare him for being an auburn tiger. Also if he could have a relatively clean driving record, it will help him get a pizza delivery job more easily after graduation.