re: Potential FIL

I would just suck it up and go to the relatives house. Meeting on his terms will show respect for him and earn respect for you. If he loses it and acts like an a-hole, you should try to keep your composure and politely excuse yourself along with his daughter. He may try to bait you into an argument but the more he tries, the cooler you should play it. If nothing else, he and everybody else will know that you were the bigger man. It won't improve your chances of him liking you but you'll at least have the satisfaction of knowing that his plan went off in his face.