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re: New study finds married parents, not race, single biggest factor in success
Posted on 3/25/15 at 1:15 pm to Wtodd
Posted on 3/25/15 at 1:15 pm to Wtodd
I've been preaching this at the top of the hilltop forever but no one listens
I come from a single parent household. My dad was around, but my parents weren't married.
I don't think that the avg married dude understands just how much better off they have it.
I see all this shite about parents giving their kids money to help them buy their first house, how kids parents help them finance their first car, how kids parents have saved money for college, none of that shite happens in a single parent house hold.
And my mom makes really good money. We lived in a upper middle class household, she drove a benz but still, anything beyond the here and now, isn't happening in a single parent house hold. My mom could not afford to put food on the table and clothes on my back and at the same time save for me to go to college. I had to work 2 jobs for an entire summer to scrape together enough to buy my first car.
When I was 18 years old I basically got luggage for my birhtday and was told to GTFO lol. My mom was ready for me to get on with my life so she could breathe financially.
I spent pretty much my entire 20's playing catchup to all my friends. I'm in a good place now but I had to do a lOT of work to get where I am, a lot of it would not have had to been done if I had the stability of a 2 parent house hold.
My best frined is a 27 about to be 28 year old female. Her parents have been married for almost 30 years. She STILL lives at home. She has a full time job, she owns a side business that she will run full time one day, her parents paid for her college and her brothers college. Because she lives at home and has a job making 50k a year she was able to save about 50 thousand dollars over the last 4 years. I make almost twice as much as she makes and I don't have 50k in the bank
So she will get married here later this year, her parents will pay for her wedding and she's off and running.
Not even getting into how kids are raised and what not.
I come from a single parent household. My dad was around, but my parents weren't married.
I don't think that the avg married dude understands just how much better off they have it.
I see all this shite about parents giving their kids money to help them buy their first house, how kids parents help them finance their first car, how kids parents have saved money for college, none of that shite happens in a single parent house hold.
And my mom makes really good money. We lived in a upper middle class household, she drove a benz but still, anything beyond the here and now, isn't happening in a single parent house hold. My mom could not afford to put food on the table and clothes on my back and at the same time save for me to go to college. I had to work 2 jobs for an entire summer to scrape together enough to buy my first car.
When I was 18 years old I basically got luggage for my birhtday and was told to GTFO lol. My mom was ready for me to get on with my life so she could breathe financially.
I spent pretty much my entire 20's playing catchup to all my friends. I'm in a good place now but I had to do a lOT of work to get where I am, a lot of it would not have had to been done if I had the stability of a 2 parent house hold.
My best frined is a 27 about to be 28 year old female. Her parents have been married for almost 30 years. She STILL lives at home. She has a full time job, she owns a side business that she will run full time one day, her parents paid for her college and her brothers college. Because she lives at home and has a job making 50k a year she was able to save about 50 thousand dollars over the last 4 years. I make almost twice as much as she makes and I don't have 50k in the bank
So she will get married here later this year, her parents will pay for her wedding and she's off and running.
Not even getting into how kids are raised and what not.
This post was edited on 3/25/15 at 1:17 pm
3
Posted on 3/25/15 at 1:21 pm to vengeanceofrain
quote:
vengeanceofrain
So are you pissed that you didn't have that silver spoon growing up OR glad that you earned everything you have?
Posted on 3/25/15 at 1:25 pm to vengeanceofrain
quote:
And my mom makes really good money. We lived in a upper middle class household, she drove a benz but still, anything beyond the here and now, isn't happening in a single parent house hold. My mom could not afford to put food on the table and clothes on my back and at the same time save for me to go to college. I had to work 2 jobs for an entire summer to scrape together enough to buy my first car.
I'm really not trying to criticize, but the beginning of the paragraph and the latter do not match up. Living in a upper middle neighborhood with a Benz while not affording to put food on the table usually don't go hand in hand.
That is really one of the underestimated portions of marriage, finances. Especially when there are 2 incomes, rather than just one. Each marriage or single parent is different. I know single parents who have lived within their financial means to put their kids through college.
quote:
My best frined is a 27 about to be 28 year old female. Her parents have been married for almost 30 years. She STILL lives at home. She has a full time job, she owns a side business that she will run full time one day, her parents paid for her college and her brothers college. Because she lives at home and has a job making 50k a year she was able to save about 50 thousand dollars over the last 4 years. I make almost twice as much as she makes and I don't have 50k in the bank
Once you got an income, there are scenarios where it would make sense to live at home. Not having to pay an extra rent or house payment and helping your parent financially.
Just my observations.
Posted on 3/25/15 at 1:26 pm to vengeanceofrain
quote:
My best frined is a 27 about to be 28 year old female. Her parents have been married for almost 30 years. She STILL lives at home. She has a full time job, she owns a side business that she will run full time one day, her parents paid for her college and her brothers college. Because she lives at home and has a job making 50k a year she was able to save about 50 thousand dollars over the last 4 years. I make almost twice as much as she makes and I don't have 50k in the bank
We're definitely wading into "Enablement" territory, here. Her parents should have kicked her out the moment she got her first job, no matter how shitty it was.
My folks are married, but my experience was a hybrid of yours and your friend's upbringing. I was told college or GTFO when I graduated high school, as I wasn't allowed to "live at home" if I wasn't pursuing an education or a career. I also mowed lawns for years in order to make a little money for a car, but my old man matched whatever I raised, and that was my all-cash budget.
My folks have never been a co-signer on anything I've ever borrowed to get, but I did learn the value of a credit card and establishing good credit at a young age.
When I was dating and looking for my wife, a major trait I was looking for was someone who also came from a two-parent household. Ironically, shortly after we got married, her parents split up, but my MiL is batshit insane, so there's that.
I do believe that the one of, if not the biggest issue in the overall breakdown of society is the destruction of the nuclear family, and specifically the removal of a man from the home. We have entire generations of boys who have never had a father in their home. This is why so many kids have such strong relationships to their pastors, coaches, grandfathers, etc. Like Tyler Durden said, "We're a generation of men raised by women." It's true, to the point where we are starting to vilify the very nature of masculinity.
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