re: Why on earth do people here say Bert instead of Bret ?

It started with Wisconsin fans, and they certainly use it derisively. But many Arkansas fans have begun to use it as a term of endearment. You see...


Bert is a caricature. Half man, half myth. Not so much Paul Bunyan as his blue ox Babe. At the end of the 7th day when God looked down on his creation and wasn't quite satisfied, he pulled a cheese curd from the side of Bill Brasky and gave the Earth Bert. Bert walks on water, because let's be honest, he probably cannot swim. He is king of all he surveys, as long as he surveys to the north and west. Son of a pig farmer. Disciple of a man who painted a visiting locker room pink. Spouse of a woman so far beyond what a man of his grotesque appearance should be able to nab that it boggles the mind. There is far too much vodka, testosterone, and Taco Bell coursing through that white oak bourbon cask of a physique to quibble with names. He is Bert.

And dammit, I love Bert.