re: Bert @ SEC Media Day

This thread will be like a baby in a car seat on a hot July afternoon. You smell shite and you realize the baby has crapped her shorts but you can't stop the car until the next exit. You turn around and ask the baby, "Did you crap your pants, Hun?"

She's a baby and has no clue what you just said, but she smiles anyhow.

Then you get to the next exit and pull into a gas station. You unbuckle her car seat safety harness and lift her up to take her to the bathroom for a quick diaper change...except when you lift her up, liquid shite cascades down both legs. Dammit, the baby had a blowout!

Then you realize shite is on the baby's hands. She's been rubbing her hands in crap for several miles. Now the baby is playfully slapping your face and holding onto your shirt. You realize shite is now on you and you unexpectedly gag a couple of times. You notice shite soaked into her car seat padding and you realize what that implies for the rest of the road trip.

Everything is descending into chaos and there's very little you can do about it.

Good lord does the man have no shame?